POLL-How many times should a coach have to tell their players the same thing over and over

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How many times?

  • 3 times in one day?

    Votes: 1 14.3%
  • 6 times this weekend?

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • 15 times this month?

    Votes: 1 14.3%
  • 3 times in one day player should apply.

    Votes: 4 57.1%
  • 6 times this weekend parents need to teach discipline at home

    Votes: 3 42.9%
  • 15 times this month far too long befor parent involvement

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Or no parent involvement just bench the player

    Votes: 2 28.6%

  • Total voters
    7
Aug 23, 2016
308
43
Agree older age kids can have the maturity to be engaged for themselves and bring that conversation to their parents.
Have the responsibility to put working on technical lesson feedback on there own schedule.

13 & under...not so much.
Still there can be very responsible young kids but not all.

And I am talking about a private instruction schedule where the parents are included with me standing there saying let's remember to work on our XYZ on own time sb homework.

DD is 13 and I've been encouraging her for years to be the one responsible for making sure she follows her coach's instructions. I may be paying for it, but she's the one who's got to take it to the field and I don't want her to think that I'm an intermediary in the process. I don't want a coach telling her something and then having her check with me to make sure it's okay - I'm her mom, what the hell do I know? Listen to the people who know what they're doing.

We've worked on how to talk to coaches who disagree what her private coaches teach her, and we talk about what "homework" her coaches give her, but this is her process and I'm just there to support her. If she doesn't do the work, I don't need to impose consequences because it shows up in the next lesson.

She's a pretty mature kid, but that's been my goal in general. She deals with her teachers by herself, she deals with her coaches by herself. I'm there to support her, but she's the one who's got to live her life.
 

RADcatcher

Possibilities & Opportunities!
Dec 13, 2019
5,060
113
California
I'm a little unclear about what the poll is asking. Or maybe I'm just splitting hairs. Do you mean the coaches directions are not followed because the player isn't listening, or is disengaged, or if the player just disregards them? An example of that might be backing up a throw, or running hard in practice. If so, my kids have once or maybe twice to get their act together before I step in. To me it boils down to being a good teammate and the activity being worth the sacrifices associated.

If you mean something where a skill or movement pattern is involved, like don't drop your hands, or hit oppo on outside pitches, I would be much more understanding. In those cases, I would hope the coach would give guidance on how my DD could work on those skills and I would help her at home when I could. I don't know if I would have a maximum in that case as long as the kid was trying to do the right thing.

Am I on the right track?
Yes correct.
When the coaches instructions are not being followed for whatever reasons.
How, if or when should a parent get involved?

Specifically how many times should a coach have to repeat themselves? when/if parent to get involved, that goes along with that question.
 
May 7, 2015
601
93
SoCal
Oldie, but goodie...

https://thedingervilletimes.com/blo...e-phrases-over-and-over-again-until-it-clicks

“It’s really simple, and I don’t know why more people haven’t figured this out,” Coach Lisle started, “I literally say three things, and if they don’t get it then I just keep repeating myself. If they still don’t get it then I just raise my voice. Eventually, it just clicks and then BOOM. You have an all-american on your hands.”
 

RADcatcher

Possibilities & Opportunities!
Dec 13, 2019
5,060
113
California
DD is 13 and I've been encouraging her for years to be the one responsible for making sure she follows her coach's instructions. I may be paying for it, but she's the one who's got to take it to the field and I don't want her to think that I'm an intermediary in the process. I don't want a coach telling her something and then having her check with me to make sure it's okay - I'm her mom, what the hell do I know? Listen to the people who know what they're doing.

We've worked on how to talk to coaches who disagree what her private coaches teach her, and we talk about what "homework" her coaches give her, but this is her process and I'm just there to support her. If she doesn't do the work, I don't need to impose consequences because it shows up in the next lesson.

She's a pretty mature kid, but that's been my goal in general. She deals with her teachers by herself, she deals with her coaches by herself. I'm there to support her, but she's the one who's got to live her life.

🙂As you commented you have been on her for years to be the one to be responsible!
That is part of Parental Guidance that you have offered her to make sure she takes responsibility!
WOOHOO!
(not all parents do that.) Good for you
She probably doesn't need to be told 15 times in a weekend the same coaching instruction.

This General topic that was posted is actually about how many times have the coach have to repeat themselves.

( this thread post is not about individual instruction I just added a comment about parents Detachment from their kids purpose,)
That is up to you as a parent if you wanted to pay attention to what your daughter was learning or not in individual lessons.

Question is
if your daughter was on a team and the coach had told her the same instruction repeatedly repeatedly repeatedly would you be a parent that would be aware of that? Or would you be a parent that would be unaware of that and have no influence to help your daughter along or support the coach?.
 
Last edited:

pattar

A life wasted chasing rainbows
Jun 8, 2016
10,186
113
My DD’s hitting instructor and I don’t get along very well so I tend to tune him out…
 

RADcatcher

Possibilities & Opportunities!
Dec 13, 2019
5,060
113
California
My DD’s hitting instructor and I don’t get along very well so I tend to tune him out…
Wowzah that's amazing you don't like the hitting instructor and yet still take your daughter to the person?!
Is it a personality difference and the mechanics are okay?
 
Aug 23, 2016
308
43
🙂As you commented you have been on her for years to be the one to be responsible!
That is part of Parental Guidance that you have offered her to make sure she takes responsibility!
WOOHOO!
(not all parents do that.) Good for you
She probably doesn't need to be told 15 times in a weekend the same coaching instruction.

This General topic that was posted is actually about how many times have the coach have to repeat themselves.

( this thread post is not about individual instruction I just added a comment about parents Detachment from their kids purpose,)
That is up to you as a parent if you wanted to pay attention to what your daughter was learning or not in individual lessons.

Question is
if your daughter was on a team and the coach had told her the same instruction repeatedly repeatedly repeatedly would you be a parent that would be aware of that? Or would you be a parent that would be unaware of that and have no influence to help your daughter along or support the coach?.
Honestly, I don't know what I'd do if my DD ignored repeated instructions from her coaches. That's not the kind of kid I have. I do know that many of her teammates don't listen, and I wonder why the parents continue to pay for softball if their kid doesn't care enough to listen.

So I guess that means I'd lean toward telling the kid to shape up or find a new activity.

As for how many times a coach has to repeat themselves, it depends. I think there's a difference between a kid trying to follow coach's instructions but falling into bad habits in the heat of the moment, and kids who feel like they don't feel the need to change because they like their way better. The first, I think a coach should keep working with the kid until the habit is broken and offer encouragement as long as they're trying. With the second, I don't think a coach should put up with that at all and the kid should be benched and told why. (I think coaches always think the why is obvious, but kids don't necessarily understand.)
 
Apr 8, 2019
66
18
Yes correct.
When the coaches instructions are not being followed for whatever reasons.
How, if or when should a parent get involved?

Specifically how many times should a coach have to repeat themselves? when/if parent to get involved, that goes along with that question.
If a coaches instructions are within my children's capabilities, a coach will not have to repeat themselves a second time. If I knew about it, I would step in.

That being said, I have never had to do this for any of my three children. It is understood that part of organized sports is listening to coaches. It is just disrespectful to the coaches, the team, and the people who sent them to practice (parents) Not to mention they are not getting any better.

In all these poll answers, the kid was never taught discipline at home. So should a parent step in and teach discipline? Ab, but years before they ever played softball.
 

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