PLEASE STOP SAYING 'your doing it wrong'

[IndyHScoach]

I have recently started to correct players or students in the class room when they say "I can't". I let them know I would not ask them to do something that I did not know they could achieve. It has helped some student athletes.

 

[_MIA_]

I have recently started to correct players or students in the class room when they say "I can't".

I cut my kids off real quick when that comes out of their mouth..there isn't much that pisses me off more than those 2 words..

Of course I personally use them as a self-survival technique with the DW e.g. my frequent use of "I can't disagree..." so I guess I am talking out of both sides of my mouth on that one..

 

[radness]

Honestly, it really stems from one-on-one work with DD. As well as watching/listening to how her PC works with her. It's an education process start to finish. He will call out if something wasn't "right". Or if it can be better. As I listen to him I can tell he's using constructive words rather than negative more often than not. When I made the switch at home and mimicked his verbiage there was an immediate positive change in how DD was willing to accept the "coaching". Because (I feel) that's how it came across instead of "criticizing".

One approach that seems to work the best as an all around is approaching the correction as an educational experience. The more I explain the what/why/when/how the more willing my players are to accept the adjustment. I don't expect them to trust me simply because I'm coach.

I try to use phrases like "Do you see how the ball is spinning this way instead of this way?" or "Do you know why the ball keeps sailing high/over your target?" or "Do you know why you feel weak in that motion?". Even for in game situations "Why did you throw to X player instead of X?" or "Why did you hesitate in that situation?" etc etc. But in a tone that gets them to sit and think about it for a second. I want to start a 2-way conversation. When they answer "no" or "I don't know" then we work through the educating process. I'll explain why the bad result is happening and then coach through the adjustment to get towards the desired result. It's not uncommon if I end a conversation with "Does that make sense? And it's okay to say no....". I don't want one of our players to think they have to say yes otherwise we think they're dumb.

Sometimes the adjustment is quick and the result immediate. "Great job!". Sometimes it's a big enough adjustment that it takes a few attempts or even sent home as homework. Which, if that's the case, then when the positive result is achieved I try to over congratulate them.

Some of the girls haven't had "skills" coaching. And remembering that is key. While most of the girls are good/solid players....they're still not realizing what they're doing wrong sometimes and have a lot of upside if/when it gets corrected. So, to me, it's more important to present the correction this way rather than simply pointing out it's "wrong". I continually try to keep in mind "They don't know what they don't know". If I can help them correct a flaw, but also leave them more educated for in-game adjustments and down the road, then I've done my job as a coach.

Sorry - long answer for a short question.

Awesome response and detail!

 

[765Seth]

Working with different age groups has

I cut my kids off real quick when that comes out of their mouth..there isn't much that pisses me off more than those 2 words..

Of course I personally use them as a self-survival technique with the DW e.g. my frequent use of "I can't disagree..." so I guess I am talking out of both sides of my mouth on that one..

I agree... they are setting themselves up for failure once those 2 words come out.

 

[765Seth]

I've been blessed to be coached by some amazing people who were Elementary school teachers and those words never came out of their mouth in the classroom or on the field. If I have coached a player for awhile and they are doing it wrong, it's because I have done it wrong in the expectation/explanation side... I can get a death look like no other when I say "remember to" or "don't forget to" after a couple swings or pitches.

 

[livingontheroad]

If 14 or over, and arent doing it the way college coaches and scouts want to see it done.......they ARE doing it wrong.

But if a coach doesnt know the right thing to teach.....then....dont. Be like a doctor......first.....do no harm.

We had a few girls at 14 that had poor swings.....but still hit hell out of ball usually. Great incentive to leave them alone.....but that is doing them a disservice actually. Against best pitchers.....less likely to get away with poor mechanics.....and college coaches dont want to see awkward messed up swings.

 

[John 800]

How do you differ your approach in these two situations:
One girl has been working on a skill and knows the correct approach but at times in games does not execute like she does in practice.
The second girl is playing like she has always played and may or may not know what she is doing wrong
Next question: do you address them during a game? Or wait until practice? Probably depends on quite a few variables...

 

[Bullseye]

If 14 or over, and arent doing it the way college coaches and scouts want to see it done.......they ARE doing it wrong.

But if a coach doesnt know the right thing to teach.....then....dont. Be like a doctor......first.....do no harm.

We had a few girls at 14 that had poor swings.....but still hit hell out of ball usually. Great incentive to leave them alone.....but that is doing them a disservice actually. Against best pitchers.....less likely to get away with poor mechanics.....and college coaches dont want to see awkward messed up swings.

Not all college's want things done the same way as the other.

 

[_MIA_]

If 14 or over, and arent doing it the way college coaches and scouts want to see it done.......they ARE doing it wrong.

But if a coach doesnt know the right thing to teach.....then....dont. Be like a doctor......first.....do no harm.

We had a few girls at 14 that had poor swings.....but still hit hell out of ball usually. Great incentive to leave them alone.....but that is doing them a disservice actually. Against best pitchers.....less likely to get away with poor mechanics.....and college coaches dont want to see awkward messed up swings.

I think you missed the point of the OP..

 

[docnsx01]

I agree, when I teach in my profession( not softball lol) and I see a less experienced person struggling I simply say "in my hands sometimes it sometimes works better like this " also when I observe my daughter getting lessons and the coach after an explanation either says "understand?" or "makes sense" never have I heard my daughter or any other kids say NO. I would love to have the coach ask the child to explain what he or she said as that would cement the real understanding of the subject. bc if you can teach it or explain to someone else than you truly have a grasp.. again positive reinforcement goes along way.. trust me I have been guilty out of frustration saying "you are doing it wrong " no way am I perfect.