Parenting question

[Rocketech1]

So here's my real-life case:

DS #2 and his friend are walking home too late from talking with girls (they were supposed to be at a sleepover….). They get mugged at 15 yrs old by a fight-club group of about six 20+ year olds. In reaction to this he carried a pocket knife, unbeknownst to his mom & dad. One day not to long thereafter he unfortunately gets hauled down to the office with a couple other boys because one of them smelled like pot. (btw - this was not my son as I had him and his clothes tested). When down at the office DS#2 was told to empty his pockets. Out comes the pocket knife (4” long). The school district decides to expel him. (They do have a zero-tolerance policy to “weapons”). Note that DS#2 had zero discipline issues to that point.

How would you feel and what would you do as the parent?

You don't bring weapons to school, period. The altercation happened late at night. These kids were probably at the wrong place, at the wrong time. My friends and I somehow made it through high school without having to pack weapons.

 

[BobInMadison]

So here's my real-life case:

DS #2 and his friend are walking home too late from talking with girls (they were supposed to be at a sleepover….). They get mugged at 15 yrs old by a fight-club group of about six 20+ year olds. In reaction to this he carried a pocket knife, unbeknownst to his mom & dad. One day not to long thereafter he unfortunately gets hauled down to the office with a couple other boys because one of them smelled like pot. (btw - this was not my son as I had him and his clothes tested). When down at the office DS#2 was told to empty his pockets. Out comes the pocket knife (4” long). The school district decides to expel him. (They do have a zero-tolerance policy to “weapons”). Note that DS#2 had zero discipline issues to that point.

How would you feel and what would you do as the parent?

That is horrible. Yes, your kid broke a rule, and probably deserves SOME sort of punishment, but the punishment was WAY overboard.

I can tell u what a family in Madison did.
Their DD was an honor student and volleyball star. Perfect record, then brings some vodka to school. Gets caught. Expelled. Lawyered up, but school and school board didn't budge.

Finally the family went to the press, specifically a local weekly. Paper makes a big deal, school board drops their Zero Tolerance policy, the girl is reinstated.

Of course a few idiots tried to make it a racial thing since the girl is white. However, non-white students, including one of my kids benefited from the change.

I guess the moral of the story is raise a stink, be loud, put as much pressure as possible.

Kids make mistakes, and one mistake shouldnt destroy a kid's life.

 

[cuzmail]

You don't bring weapons to school, period. The altercation happened late at night. These kids were probably at the wrong place, at the wrong time. My friends and I somehow made it through high school without having to pack weapons.

Wrong place and wrong time doesn't excuse a mugging.

 

[CoreSoftball20]

So these kids werent walking home from school? It was late at night coming from somewhere else?


BTW, this is wayyy diff than a badly worded T-shirt

 

[Rocketech1]

Wrong place and wrong time doesn't excuse a mugging.

The day my kid needs to bring a 4 inch switchblade to class is the last day my kid attends that school. This is what you are advocating, that it is ok for the student body to carry weapons to school?

 

[BobInMadison]

There is a difference between a pocket knife and a switchblade. I've seen both.

Getting mugged and beaten can be an extremely traumatic experience. Not every 15 year old knows how to handle the situation.

I can think of a LOT of ways the school could've handled the situation that would have preserved safety and also been geared towards the pedalogic mission of guiding and educating kids.

For example, a short suspension or even a warning coupled with counseling.

I know that when one of my kids was caught having had some alcohol before a school football game, the recent elimination of a Zero Tolerance policy meant she could be set onto a better path. She responded with straight A's since then.
I also have heard stories about how the late and very much missed former principal set a number of students straight in his decades at that HS. That principal was one of the very best educators I have ever had the privilege of meeting, and I have known some outstanding educators.

But, leading kids on the right path is hard. Zero Tolerance policies are easy, and makes for a good bumper sticker ready slogan.

 

[CoreSoftball20]

Bob...can you visit my question?

Were the kids walking home from school or late night from somewhere?

 

[BobInMadison]

Bob...can you visit my question?

Were the kids walking home from school or late night from somewhere?

It was rubber biscuit whose son was attacked. Mercifully, my DS has never been attacked. He is off at college now and walks home from practice with a group of other athletes in well lit areas.

There is no way to always prevent trouble. Some of his teammates were robbed at gun point while apartment hunting in what they thought was a safe neighborhood. Closer to home, a well known UW football player was attacked and injured in what was supposed to be a safe area, but recovered well enough to get drafted midway through the first round. Hopefully he will be safe in San Diego

 

[RubberBiscuit]

You don't bring weapons to school, period. The altercation happened late at night. These kids were probably at the wrong place, at the wrong time. My friends and I somehow made it through high school without having to pack weapons.

Ya I believe too that he had a price to pay. But with expulsion..? This incident has dramatically changed his whole life. He gets thrown into on-line school (alternative is "bad-kids" school where he would be around truly bad kids all the time).

I never packed anything too but then again I was from a more innocent age where our high school tussles were 1-on-1 tiffs with rival high school kids. Not an all out beat-down by a group of adults in the sport of inhumanity.

I struggle with the dichotomy of our society where Hollywood & politicians get off with worst case a hand-slap for being life-long scumballs & criminals and my once-innocent and pure-hearted son gets thrown off the island for good.

 

[RubberBiscuit]

That is horrible. Yes, your kid broke a rule, and probably deserves SOME sort of punishment, but the punishment was WAY overboard.

I can tell u what a family in Madison did.
Their DD was an honor student and volleyball star. Perfect record, then brings some vodka to school. Gets caught. Expelled. Lawyered up, but school and school board didn't budge.

Finally the family went to the press, specifically a local weekly. Paper makes a big deal, school board drops their Zero Tolerance policy, the girl is reinstated.

Of course a few idiots tried to make it a racial thing since the girl is white. However, non-white students, including one of my kids benefited from the change.

I guess the moral of the story is raise a stink, be loud, put as much pressure as possible.

Kids make mistakes, and one mistake shouldn't destroy a kid's life.

Ya this story of yours rings in my head. We went before the superintendent to plead his case and try to get some leniency (he DID deserve some sort of punishment). What has my blood boiling even today, as an example of the blind-psycho's in public schools, is what happened in that meeting. The superintendent bloviates for what seems an hour. Talks down on my son like he is a hardened criminal. We "take" his ego-trip as we want to get what appears to be some move of rationalized punishment. This complete piece of trash gives all of us hope in this meeting that he is going to scale his punishment due to the physical & mental trauma my son went through. But after this long painful meeting where he gives the appearance that he is "exploring" yet to find out how he should make scaled judgement he ends by pulling out of a folder in front of him a pre-filled-out expulsion form.

Now y'all know why I love public schools and the psychosis of it's leadership (in general).