Lost Confidence

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Jan 10, 2022
43
8
Long Island NY
My DD has clearly lost confidence in hitting. she seems to take pitches she used to hit (including stike 3s that are right down the middle) and her strikeout rate is at a 3X higher level than it has been in prior season and she is a second year 12u. she is still fielding well, but her offense is all but gone. She still hits fine when i take her to the park or into the net in the backyard by herself, but she is like a totally different person when showing up for games. she is uber passive now.

We have worked and talked and talked and talked, but nothing seems to be making any impact in what she is doing. Now, she is dropping in the batting order and it is making it worse and last night she cried for hours after dropping 2 more spots to 8th behind kids who never played travel before.

What can be done to get her confidence back? I am afraid this is going to be the end of softball for her if she does not get it back.
 

radness

Possibilities & Opportunities!
Dec 13, 2019
7,270
113
Talk and talked and talked?
What are those talks about?
How is the coach of the team coaching the players on their mindset getting into the box?

Is this a new team or same group of players from last season?
 
Dec 16, 2021
25
3
Uuuggghh, this is what I believe the most challenging thing a parent can go through with their kids. The mental part of the game is just as important as the physical part. I'm no expert and am not a hitting instructor but I've gone through this with both my kids. I tried making hitting fun again and TRIED taking the pressure off.....here are the things that I tried and I'm not sure they worked but eventually they both came out of their slumps.....out in the backyard with wiffles I was just pitching to her all goofy and fun and trying to get her to hit horrible pitches, sometimes I would challenge her to hit the ball the opposite way, she's a lefty and I would say "Ill buy you a blizzard if you can hit 10 of the next 20 pitches to the SS". Try to find ways to get her to hit the ball the other way, that way she's staying on the ball longer. Get plastic golf wiffle balls and pitch those to her, get her to make solid contact on those small balls. My best advice though is to try to make her remember she's out there to have fun, be goofy, act like its not important. say something positive to her in the on deck circle. Just keep it positive and fun, and good luck man this is a very challenging thing to go through.
 
Jan 10, 2022
43
8
Long Island NY
yes, we talk about here approach repeatedly and reminding her how she was always a good contact hitter and to remember to look to hit. reminded her she should never go to the plate looking to or hoping to walk. she keeps nodding her head and understands, but once you put her jersey on and send her to the plate in the game, the bat wants to stay on the shoulder again.

I am not sure the approach of the coach regarding mentality. i know they encourage them in a very positive way. there is very little to no negative criticizm of them. they do encourage them to swing, even if they miss.

The team is mostly new. 3 of the girls (including my DD) are left over from the prior year 12U... the others went to 14u team. the make up of the team is them.... followeed by 6 girls from the 10U team now playing first year 12U and 4 first year 12us who never played travel ball before.

the head coach and one assistant were both assistants on my dd 12u team last season. the third coach is a former assistant of the 10u team we have.
 
Dec 15, 2018
809
93
CT
You didn't mention a timeframe (like how long this has been going on for, or when it started), but...if you tried and tried and tried talking, and drills, and reminders, and more talking....it may be time to just leave her alone. Slumps happen. She is a good hitter. She can probably work herself out of it.
 
Jul 2, 2013
381
43
DD went through this her first year of 12u. They were playing B and she realized that she could walk a decent amount of times if she just never swung. That of course led to quite a few walks but also a lot of taken strike threes. She had been going to a hitting coach for around a year and I told him what was going on. He made her a deal that he would do 5 pushups for every hit she got (or even ball put in play) but if she didn't swing the bat, she had to do the pushups. She loved making him do pushups every week after that. That was 7 years ago and they still talk about that at lessons every once in a while.
 

radness

Possibilities & Opportunities!
Dec 13, 2019
7,270
113
I am not sure the approach of the coach regarding mentality.
'Not sure' There may be some answers to the situation in that conversation.
Would ask coach what is he or she saying to the Batters about their mental approach stepping in the Box. And ask daughter what her answer is about what the coach is saying and see if those two things are the same.
Maybe the coach is talking to the new players and the beginning players in such a way it's not relating to your daughter well.
The team is mostly new. 3 of the girls (including my DD) are left over from the prior year 12U... the others went to 14u team. the make up of the team is them.... followeed by 6 girls from the 10U team now playing first year 12U and 4 first year 12us who never played travel ball before.

the head coach and one assistant were both assistants on my dd 12u team last season. the third coach is a former assistant of the 10u team we have.
New players = New surroundings +
an age bracket where being socially accepted becomes important.

Simply Hesitancy shows itself in different environments especially new ones.

Being that she is one of the remaining players there could be some added pressure coming from the direction of what the coach may be saying or that the older players moved on and now she's feeling that pressure on her shoulders to have to produce 🤷‍♀️
 
May 27, 2022
412
63
I heard a quote attributed to Mike Candrea:
"Boys have to play well to feel good / Girls have to feel good to play well"
 
Apr 20, 2018
4,581
113
SoCal
Refer you to Sue Enquist "we swing at everything, yes, yes yes" approach. I sure somebody could post the video.
Hate to hear she is crying. She going to have to out work. Tee work, front toss, cages. Breathing and visualization before every game is huge. Recall line drives. Remind her how good she is every time she smokes one a practice. Believe and be confident. If she is putting in the work she has " earned the right to be confident."
She needs to decide how she is going to think and feel not let her emotions rule.
Sometimes you gotta fake it to you make it.
I know that's a lot on a 12 y/o but it is really what it takes. Hitting a softball is hard enough when you are focused and confident and aggressive. It's darn near impossible if you are scattered, lacking confidence and timid.
 

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