Looking for some advice on HS ball because this dad is driving the struggle bus (Sorry another HS topic)

[CoachJD]

Okay, so here's a different question for the ADs and HCs out there.

What if you have an incompetent coach who drives players away from the team? Over the last four seasons, including the 2020 season that wasn't, our HS team lost five TB players, all of whom said the reason for not playing was because they hated the coach. He has gotten worse with his forgetfulness over the last year to the point he just doesn't bother telling the umpires about substitutions anymore. Normally, the umps and our AC coach catch it before it costs us, but it's happened four times already this season in only five games. He fills out the lineup cards with the wrong numbers, so there's always confusion for the other team coaches the first time through the order.

One of the worst parts, though, is his refusal to use new technology for team communication. Recently, the district went to the Remind App to prevent any inappropriate texting between coaches and players, yet the HC refused to put the app on his phone because he thought he had to pay for "In-app purchases." It has gotten to the point where all communication runs through the AC now.

He's a 68-year-old former gym teacher, so I give him credit for wanting to stay involved. Sadly, he revealed to the team captains that he had cancer during the season last year and just finished treatments in February. Thankfully, he's in remission, but his treatments prevented the team from doing any extra workouts over the winter because he didn't have the energy. When the AC asked if he could run them, the coach's answer was no, he needed to be there.

How would you handle this situation?

First, keep in mind that not all situations are like mine. In some districts, there are limitations on who can coach, how they can be replaced, who is allowed to replace them, etc.

Losing good players is a huge problem, and if I noticed our better players were leaving the program, I'd want to know why. I'd talk to the coach. I might talk to the players if I know them. I might ask one of their friends if I know them better than I know the player. All very casually. Just a "hey, how come Sally isn't playing this year?" That's gathering the information.

Now, I'm assuming five TB players quitting is a big deal. If you live in a town where Varsity, JV, and Freshman teams are all loaded with TB players, then maybe it's not. This isn't a defense of the coach, but I'm sure you can see how maybe it's not a big deal or indicative of a problem, even if those 5 (out of ~45) didn't like the coach. So context matters, and I'll assume losing 5 TB players is a big loss.

Some of what you have mentioned are issues that I wouldn't mind having a parent come to me about if I was otherwise unaware (can't be at every game the team plays, especially away games), though I would prefer the AC do it. If a parent does come to me to talk about the substitutions, etc., I'll listen and just say thanks for letting me know. Then I'd go and talk to the coach/AC to ask about what happened. I hope you understand why I wouldn't have a lengthy discussion with a parent about the coach's possible mental incompetence.

I don't necessarily know that the AC doing the communication is a huge issue. It could be a normal delegation of responsibilities, but in this case, it might be a coach who can't keep up. My question about this one would be "How does this affect the team, if at all?" This one is less of an issue for me, though it's a piece of the puzzle. (EDIT: Is it a requirement that coaches use that app, or just a requirement they use that instead of texting players personally? Is he actually violating a rule here or did he just find a workaround?)

It's so weird to me (as a coach) for a coach to say he needed to be there for something like an off-season workout when someone else could fill in. If the options are AC runs it or it doesn't happen, let the AC do it. That says to me he may not trust/like the AC.

The issue with all this information is... there's nothing positive here. Seems like an easy decision to try to talk to him about maybe flip flopping roles so the AC can run the show, or maybe just asking him to step down because he can't keep up anymore. But this is what I'm talking about when I say parents don't post all the details. Why is this guy the coach? Why was he hired? What's his background in softball? How much has he won? Do all the girls really hate him, or were there a couple disgruntled players over the past few years?

 

[LEsoftballdad]

First, keep in mind that not all situations are like mine. In some districts, there are limitations on who can coach, how they can be replaced, who is allowed to replace them, etc.

Losing good players is a huge problem, and if I noticed our better players were leaving the program, I'd want to know why. I'd talk to the coach. I might talk to the players if I know them. I might ask one of their friends if I know them better than I know the player. All very casually. Just a "hey, how come Sally isn't playing this year?" That's gathering the information.

Now, I'm assuming five TB players quitting is a big deal. If you live in a town where Varsity, JV, and Freshman teams are all loaded with TB players, then maybe it's not. This isn't a defense of the coach, but I'm sure you can see how maybe it's not a big deal or indicative of a problem, even if those 5 (out of ~45) didn't like the coach. So context matters, and I'll assume losing 5 TB players is a big loss.

Some of what you have mentioned are issues that I wouldn't mind having a parent come to me about if I was otherwise unaware (can't be at every game the team plays, especially away games), though I would prefer the AC do it. If a parent does come to me to talk about the substitutions, etc., I'll listen and just say thanks for letting me know. Then I'd go and talk to the coach/AC to ask about what happened. I hope you understand why I wouldn't have a lengthy discussion with a parent about the coach's possible mental incompetence.

I don't necessarily know that the AC doing the communication is a huge issue. It could be a normal delegation of responsibilities, but in this case, it might be a coach who can't keep up. My question about this one would be "How does this affect the team, if at all?" This one is less of an issue for me, though it's a piece of the puzzle. (EDIT: Is it a requirement that coaches use that app, or just a requirement they use that instead of texting players personally? Is he actually violating a rule here or did he just find a workaround?)

It's so weird to me (as a coach) for a coach to say he needed to be there for something like an off-season workout when someone else could fill in. If the options are AC runs it or it doesn't happen, let the AC do it. That says to me he may not trust/like the AC.

The issue with all this information is... there's nothing positive here. Seems like an easy decision to try to talk to him about maybe flip flopping roles so the AC can run the show, or maybe just asking him to step down because he can't keep up anymore. But this is what I'm talking about when I say parents don't post all the details. Why is this guy the coach? Why was he hired? What's his background in softball? How much has he won? Do all the girls really hate him, or were there a couple disgruntled players over the past few years?

The coach was hired in 2017 after retiring from his teaching job in another district. Year one, made the playoffs with a 9-7 record. 2018, finished 7-9 and missed the playoffs despite a D1 committed catcher, D2 3B, and two D3 players. 2019, finished 8-8 and no playoffs. 2020 was missed. 2021 made playoffs at 8-4 because my daughter came up as a 9th grade pitching stud.

The district hasn't had a JV team since 2018, so losing 5 TB players hurts a lot.

If he's back, my daughter and two other TB players have said they won't return. If that happens, the program dies. Hate is a strong word, but my daughters and the other two TB players have all said they hate playing for him.

 

[Towny9]

An

What you should be telling them is "You need to work on x, y, and z." It doesn't do any good to tell a player she's not good enough to play without telling her specific things she needs to improve.

Agree. Any good coach is already doing that with all his players regularly. Even the ones who aren’t asking about playing time.

 

[soonerfan1966]

First, keep in mind that not all situations are like mine. In some districts, there are limitations on who can coach, how they can be replaced, who is allowed to replace them, etc.

Losing good players is a huge problem, and if I noticed our better players were leaving the program, I'd want to know why. I'd talk to the coach. I might talk to the players if I know them. I might ask one of their friends if I know them better than I know the player. All very casually. Just a "hey, how come Sally isn't playing this year?" That's gathering the information.

Now, I'm assuming five TB players quitting is a big deal. If you live in a town where Varsity, JV, and Freshman teams are all loaded with TB players, then maybe it's not. This isn't a defense of the coach, but I'm sure you can see how maybe it's not a big deal or indicative of a problem, even if those 5 (out of ~45) didn't like the coach. So context matters, and I'll assume losing 5 TB players is a big loss.

Some of what you have mentioned are issues that I wouldn't mind having a parent come to me about if I was otherwise unaware (can't be at every game the team plays, especially away games), though I would prefer the AC do it. If a parent does come to me to talk about the substitutions, etc., I'll listen and just say thanks for letting me know. Then I'd go and talk to the coach/AC to ask about what happened. I hope you understand why I wouldn't have a lengthy discussion with a parent about the coach's possible mental incompetence.

I don't necessarily know that the AC doing the communication is a huge issue. It could be a normal delegation of responsibilities, but in this case, it might be a coach who can't keep up. My question about this one would be "How does this affect the team, if at all?" This one is less of an issue for me, though it's a piece of the puzzle. (EDIT: Is it a requirement that coaches use that app, or just a requirement they use that instead of texting players personally? Is he actually violating a rule here or did he just find a workaround?)

It's so weird to me (as a coach) for a coach to say he needed to be there for something like an off-season workout when someone else could fill in. If the options are AC runs it or it doesn't happen, let the AC do it. That says to me he may not trust/like the AC.

The issue with all this information is... there's nothing positive here. Seems like an easy decision to try to talk to him about maybe flip flopping roles so the AC can run the show, or maybe just asking him to step down because he can't keep up anymore. But this is what I'm talking about when I say parents don't post all the details. Why is this guy the coach? Why was he hired? What's his background in softball? How much has he won? Do all the girls really hate him, or were there a couple disgruntled players over the past few years?

Two sentences tell me all I need to know about which players you care about.

 

[AnotherSoftballDad]

If you don't mind my asking, why did the coach of your daughter's team choose your daughter, who is a great pitcher and made her the catcher? Did the team have an injury to their catcher and just selected your daughter to fill in the role?

It was a smart coaching decision.

The team just happened to not have any experienced catchers. Also my kid is not a great pitcher but well above average for high school. She is probably 5 MPH faster than the other 2 pitchers with better change of speed and the same movement. She also has less control than the other 2.

While my kid isn't a catcher she has spent years catching during live hitting in cages with kids we know, and she has caught lessons for other kids for years.

So.... she was the only kid on the team that had a nice set of catchers gear and felt confident behind the plate.

It's not a horrible situation but..... all those years of pitching lessons

 

[El Oso]

Do you miss the point all the time for fun or is it a condition or something? It has nothing to do with anybody being especially smart or competent or even deserving of the job.

The coach could be a drooling idiot and unless they're somehow abusive it's entirely inappropriate for a parent to go complaining to the AD. Complaining because your daughter isn't playing? That parent should be laughed out of the room for even thinking to have that meeting.

This coach has a pretty terrible philosophy on how to use pitchers, if everything posted here is accurate. It's silly to offer an opinion on if this person should still be the coach of the team without knowing a whole lot of other information. It's even sillier to imagine a conversation with the AD that boils down to "Tell the coach to play my kid more" going the way the parent wants.

Talk about missing the point. A new coach in place who has, as you readily admit, a terrible philosophy, yet you don't think the AD needs to hear about it? How else would the AD know that his coach has a terrible philosophy unless they are told? The point of a parent going to the AD is NOT to whine about a lack of playing time, it is to INFORM the AD of the coach's terrible philosophy. It's like talking to the manager at a business where you have received bad service. You aren't really doing it to get better service, because that window has passed, it is to inform the manager that his employee is not performing satisfactorily so that the manager is aware of the situation and can do something about it if it doesn't change.

As an AD, are you not interested in making sure your coaches are performing satisfactorily?

 

[GunnerShotgun]

As an AD, are you not interested in making sure your coaches are performing satisfactorily?

From fans? Which is short for fanatical? No.

 

[El Oso]

From fans? Which is short for fanatical? No.

Are you an AD? Nope. So why the feeling that I care what you think? Lol...............

 

[erniekru]

Are you an AD? Nope. So why the feeling that I care what you think? Lol...............

What age division does your DD play? Not trying to get to a "gotcha" moment, just trying to understand what type of exposure you've had to different coaches and orgs.

 

[Orange Socks]

I totally understand where your coming from, Not only is a constant coaching carousel frustrating for parents... it's frustrating for us as players as well. We get used to one style -- one philosophy one season and it's something totally different the next. I'm dealing with that now in college where we had a coach that was here for 20+ seasons and now we have a new head coach. It's not he's a bad coach... it's just that it's a major change of philosophy compared to what we had.

My DD got recruited by the 1st coach her Jr year. He called 6 days later informing her he is going to Kansas. 2nd coach comes in as an interim coach. She applied for the permanent position but did not get it. 3rd coach comes in and after 3 years (DD's Fr,soph years) and leaves. She is now on her 4th coach. She's used to new coaches. She had 3 different HS Head Coaches. But guess who her #1 coach is? ME!!!!