Looking for advice in the 'life isn't fair" dept. re: HS Ball

[obbay]

Re: Politics:
I know from reading this board there are many high schools that have good programs, but many do not.

DD #1 played on this team when she was in HS so we already know how this coach operates,. I have found it is best, and continue to remind myself, to avoid the negative and focus on the positive. He is a football coach who is a personal friend of the AD (who is the Football Head Coach). Every year there are kids who make the Varsity team for the wrong reason(kids who pay for hitting instruction from him, Sisters of players he likes, daughters of other coaches or faculty, kids whose parents he wants in the softball boosters, etc.). when they vote for captains at the end of the season, he makes sure that the captains are chosen who have parents that like him, and/or includes DD of the Softball Boosters President.

I know DD earned her spot and is lucky to have done so. There is one player (Sophmore) who has been working hard in the off-season and has become a much stronger player than before. she has become a JV/V bubble player but had to watch a couple of lightweights getting preferential treatment and making the V team. totally knocked her down. she wanted this bad, not just as a status symbol like others.

in addition, he's not a good coach.BUT...DD will learn mental toughness from him, so thats a good thing as long as no damage results.

 

[Jquick823]

My DD is still in MS ball but is a top 3 player in the entire school district. To clarify this, we have a player going D1 that's a senior and then not much talent as we are not a softball school district and my DD is high B to low A talent. My DD's MS coach came up to me and asked if I would be ok with my DD not catching even though she's the best catcher. I was disappointed that the coach asked this. She explained to me why she asked which brought the politics issue to my attention.

My DD is probably one of the most liked students in her school as she is very gifted academically and has manners, teachers constantly tell my wife and I how great she is. So the coach tells me that the previous coach was fired because parents of popular kids complained to the school board about him not playing the "right" girls. I was there last year, there weren't any "right" girls to play that weren't on the field. We went 2-7 and probably shouldn't have won 2. So the coach who is around 25-26, new teacher, newly married and not from the area originally is nervous that if upset I would complain and have her removed from the position. I wanted to laugh but she wasn't joking. I told her I don't care if she benches my kid it's school ball and in the end it's about representing your school and playing with friends.

Unfortunately within days of my conversation parents have already started the bleacher talk about how so and so made the team but this other girl is better and how this coach sucks because she's not the coach they wanted.

Politics are a major issue in school ball, it's either the coach playing the favorites to keep her job or the coach playing to win games to keep her job or parents with money helping the school team out by donating uniforms.......

More and more girls are not playing school ball to focus on travel and off season work outs. I've had only a few conversations with my DD about HS softball, but if she doesn't make V she might turn down the JV offer.

 

[chinamigarden]

I

It is surely more political, and it could be for your stated reason. We can leave our travel team and play in a tournament the next weekend. High school ball, you can not... you can lose a whole season by quitting a club... a high school coach can not like your parents and your whole season can be over. Maybe you looked at the coaches child wrong, and boom, your daughter is benched.. (and all of this applies to any sport in High School).

I also think the short benches of club ball prevent some of this political stuff. It would be interesting to hear from some of the girls that play in the higher programs.... some CA clubs have 30 player rosters I've heard, with an elite team that plays on Sundays, while the other girls play Saturdays pool play. Things like that surely would have a political taste, and man... I can't even imagine how cutthroat the bleachers must sound between Saturday play and Sunday observers....

Read all the disgruntled parent threads here and you will find just as much and maybe more politics in the TB side of things. Look at all the team jumpers and org boards and daddy ball complaints. TB is lousy with politics. In fact part of the problem with HS ball is that the people who are good at the TB politics don't understand that HS politics are played differently.

 

[1696]

but if she doesn't make V she might turn down the JV offer.

Jquick, a story you might like. 4 years ago, DD1 and her 14U TB summer team (a top 3 team in the state, all freshman) make JV at 6 different schools. These are 6 of the 8 biggest schools in the state. Loaded with talent. Except 1 girl, put on freshman team. She's crushed. Humiliated. Cries herself to sleep. Embarrassed to wear the jersey. 3 weeks later she's pitched and hit her way to JV. 3 weeks later she's on V. So the only girl to not make JV is the only girl to letter. Love that kid.

 

[Little Angels Softball]

Jquick, a story you might like. 4 years ago, DD1 and her 14U TB summer team (a top 3 team in the state, all freshman) make JV at 6 different schools. These are 6 of the 8 biggest schools in the state. Loaded with talent. Except 1 girl, put on freshman team. She's crushed. Humiliated. Cries herself to sleep. Embarrassed to wear the jersey. 3 weeks later she's pitched and hit her way to JV. 3 weeks later she's on V. So the only girl to not make JV is the only girl to letter. Love that kid.

Gotta love the HS coaches, too. They were at least good enough to recognize their mistake and then humble enough to correct it.

 

[guero_gordo]

Susie's mom, "Poor littl Susie comes home crying everyday after practice because the girls are mean to her and she should have made Varsity."
Sweet Child of Mine , "If I wanted to make her cry, I'd do it during practice, not after. That way all of us could enjoy it."

 

[Rocketech1]

Not a fan of parents influencing coaches decisions. When I played V soccer, one of my teammates was an average player who didn't start and came off the bench, playing infrequently. His dad was a prominent doctor in our city. The dad had a long discussion with our head coach after one of our practices. Well guess who was getting more playing time and starting more the next week? Yep....what this dad did sends the wrong message to his son that it's not about working hard to earn your position but instead if you don't like your playing time have your parents exert their influence to help you. Btw, this kid ended up dropping out of college and the last I heard was working at a surf shop to make a living. No surprise there.

 

[Jquick823]

Jquick, a story you might like. 4 years ago, DD1 and her 14U TB summer team (a top 3 team in the state, all freshman) make JV at 6 different schools. These are 6 of the 8 biggest schools in the state. Loaded with talent. Except 1 girl, put on freshman team. She's crushed. Humiliated. Cries herself to sleep. Embarrassed to wear the jersey. 3 weeks later she's pitched and hit her way to JV. 3 weeks later she's on V. So the only girl to not make JV is the only girl to letter. Love that kid.

I should probably elaborate on the turn down the offer part. It would be strictly to concentrate her time on softball. In my DD's district the quality of SB is terrible, I mean downright embarrassing. Our area is that place that everyone knows everyone and never leaves and we are essentially the new people. So her not making V would for the most part not be because of a lack of skill but possibly because of a lack of contacts. But I have 12 months to worry about that, still in MS lol.

Great story of perseverance!

 

[Cowdogz]

Our town has an old-boys network of baseball coaches that extends right through HS. DS was one of the better defenders in his youth league, but an average hitter. They had the same all-star coach every year, who refused to select DS for three years running. He had his own cadre of favorites. The same coach was also the MS coach, so for two years DS was lucky to play more than an inning or two. Freshman ball was the same. Last year, the same cadre of "favorite" kids got placed on varsity as sophomores. The "old-boy" who usually coached JV was off on sabbatical, so a new coach who knew nothing of the usual politics coached. He used DS as the primary catcher, and DS shined. This week DS was told that this year he will be the 2nd catcher on varsity. He's probably a better defender than the senior who will start, but not as good a hitter. He's happy. I'm happy for him. He's in line to be the starting catcher next year. He's always been known for his work ethic and attitude. Sometimes perseverance does pay off.

 

[DiamondDad316]

A lot of good views of playing different positions in HS and TB. How does this translate to providing updates to college coaches? For example, the original post mentioned pitcher and OF. For sake of argument, lets say the TB pitcher is playing OF the entire HS season as a result of making the team stronger. Questions...1) if the player is providing updates to college coaches about HS, how does she address it? 2) how would the college coach perceive this that a TB pitcher is not getting pitching time during HS softball? 3) does she need pitching reps through HS season?

Just curious as we are in a similar situation...my DD is a TB catcher, taking lessons since 9U, has been to many college camps and clinics. The coaches have mentioned updating them on HS softball. She is starting varsity as a freshman with a sophomore catcher ahead of her (asst. coaches DD is the catcher and not playing TB). My DD will be playing SS during HS ball with probably no catching time and since she is following a sophomore, could go on for few years. We are NOT complaining as we understand that it is valuable to be able to play multiple positions, but was wondering how college coaches would look at the situation.