Life’s Too Short to Play for (or Work for) Jerks

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Ken Krause

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May 7, 2008
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Mundelein, IL
The other thing to remember as they get older is that you might see them for a few hours a week but you really don't know that is going on in their lives. There are a lot of kids that this is an escape from the real world and the last thing they need is one more person not believing in them.
That is a great point! Softball can be an island of relief in an otherwise turbulent life.
 
Dec 5, 2017
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What about coaches that don't scream and yell, but just don't coach? Dd is having a hard time with the team we joined last fall that is not what we thought it was. It's always some vague instruction-try harder, be faster, don't stop, etc. but they don't teach anything. Not one time have they worked on proper footwork, glovework or any real fielding mechanics. This inevitably leads to fielding errors followed by the aforementioned generic instruction. Our team has so much potential that won't be fulfilled due to a lack of basic coaching. My point to this is dd is very unhappy, rightfully so, yet we made a commitment. We will play good competition this year and we work a lot at home but I can't help feeling like it will be a wasted season and who wants that? Also, the feedback is mostly negative very little positivity or trying to build them up. Honestly, dd doesn't really care about being told good job all the time but does get tired of always only hearing the negativity.
 
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Ken Krause

Administrator
Admin
May 7, 2008
3,911
113
Mundelein, IL
What about coaches that don't scream and yell, but just don't coach? Dd is having a hard time with the team we joined last fall that is not what we thought it was. It's always some vague instruction-try harder, be faster, don't stop, etc. but they don't teach anything. Not one time have they worked on proper footwork, glovework or any real fielding mechanics. This inevitably leads to fielding errors followed by the aforementioned generic instruction. Our team has so much potential that won't be fulfilled due to a lack of basic coaching. My point to this is dd is very unhappy, rightfully so, yet we made a commitment. We will play good competition this year and we work a lot at home but I can't help feeling like it will be a wasted season and who wants that? Also, the feedback is mostly negative very little positivity or trying to build them up. Honestly, dd doesn't really care about being told good job all the time but does get tired of always only hearing the negativity.

It sounds to me, based on your description, that you have an "assembler" for a coach. That is someone who looks to bring on what he/she considers to be already formed talent and throw those players on the field. The expectation is that the quality the players bring to the table from the beginning will be enough to win a lot of ballgames. No actual coaching required. Since the coach has no idea how to teach the game, he/she simply tries to get the players to "work harder" so they won't make as many mistakes.

That type of coaching can work to a certain level, and you can win trophies with it if you pick the right tournaments. But it doesn't help players improve, and may even cause them to regress because no correction is taking place. So what starts as an outlier problem becomes a habit.

Unfortunately, the one thing these types of coaches tend to be good at is marketing themselves and their teams. Again, if you attract enough talent you can win. But it has nothing to do with the coach helping players get better.

Best thing you can do right now probably is seek outside help for skills improvement - private instructors, camps run by people who know what they're doing, that sort of thing. And start looking/asking around to find coaches who actually coach. Keep in mind their teams may not be the best, because the assemblers love to steal those coaches' best players, which means they're constantly having to develop new talent instead of reaping the rewards of their past work. But they are the hidden gems who will help your DD become the player she's meant to be.
 
Dec 5, 2017
514
63
It sounds to me, based on your description, that you have an "assembler" for a coach. That is someone who looks to bring on what he/she considers to be already formed talent and throw those players on the field. The expectation is that the quality the players bring to the table from the beginning will be enough to win a lot of ballgames. No actual coaching required. Since the coach has no idea how to teach the game, he/she simply tries to get the players to "work harder" so they won't make as many mistakes.

That type of coaching can work to a certain level, and you can win trophies with it if you pick the right tournaments. But it doesn't help players improve, and may even cause them to regress because no correction is taking place. So what starts as an outlier problem becomes a habit.

Unfortunately, the one thing these types of coaches tend to be good at is marketing themselves and their teams. Again, if you attract enough talent you can win. But it has nothing to do with the coach helping players get better.

Best thing you can do right now probably is seek outside help for skills improvement - private instructors, camps run by people who know what they're doing, that sort of thing. And start looking/asking around to find coaches who actually coach. Keep in mind their teams may not be the best, because the assemblers love to steal those coaches' best players, which means they're constantly having to develop new talent instead of reaping the rewards of their past work. But they are the hidden gems who will help your DD become the player she's meant to be.
The sad thing is we work a lot at home. Bought Kobata's training program and have always studied Trosky, Candrea, etc. She does things properly and gets "corrected". Frustrating. Never thought about the "assembler" style of coaching but if anyone thinks 11/12 year olds don't need coaching then they should stop "coaching". Was talking to hc in the fall about Kobata's program and he was open to checking it out. Next practice he tells me he only watched about 5 minutes because it was boring. HC is a good guy but neither he or his ac should be a hc, imho. Gripe session over, thanks.
 

Ken Krause

Administrator
Admin
May 7, 2008
3,911
113
Mundelein, IL
The sad thing is we work a lot at home. Bought Kobata's training program and have always studied Trosky, Candrea, etc. She does things properly and gets "corrected". Frustrating. Never thought about the "assembler" style of coaching but if anyone thinks 11/12 year olds don't need coaching then they should stop "coaching". Was talking to hc in the fall about Kobata's program and he was open to checking it out. Next practice he tells me he only watched about 5 minutes because it was boring. HC is a good guy but neither he or his ac should be a hc, imho. Gripe session over, thanks.

Yes, that is also a problem - the coach who thinks he/she is an expert without putting in the work. Just because you played once upon a time doesn't mean you know the latest information or advances in the sport. Great coaches work at learning all the time.

Sounds like your HC thinks he already knows all he needs to know. Which means if your DD is doing something more advanced that doesn't align with his world view he'll think it's wrong.

I guess just hang in there for now, tell her to do her best, and start looking for a better fit.
 
Dec 5, 2017
514
63
Yes, that is also a problem - the coach who thinks he/she is an expert without putting in the work. Just because you played once upon a time doesn't mean you know the latest information or advances in the sport. Great coaches work at learning all the time.

Sounds like your HC thinks he already knows all he needs to know. Which means if your DD is doing something more advanced that doesn't align with his world view he'll think it's wrong.

I guess just hang in there for now, tell her to do her best, and start looking for a better fit.
Just had that conversation. The rest of the team ages up this fall and we will be on the look out for a new team.
 
Mar 28, 2020
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Love this post......Someone stated you don't know what is going on in those practices and games.....so true....happened to my older daughter.....broke my heart when she finally told me at age 26!!!

I wish I had known.....I am trying to be see and hear more with baby girl without interfering

Great Post
 

Ken Krause

Administrator
Admin
May 7, 2008
3,911
113
Mundelein, IL
Love this post......Someone stated you don't know what is going on in those practices and games.....so true....happened to my older daughter.....broke my heart when she finally told me at age 26!!!

I wish I had known.....I am trying to be see and hear more with baby girl without interfering

Great Post
Thank you. If I can save just one player from having to put up with a miserable experience it will have been worth the effort.
 
Oct 26, 2019
1,375
113
Thank you. If I can save just one player from having to put up with a miserable experience it will have been worth the effort.
I definitely don’t disagree with the post or the message. What would your advice be to a player or family who has a bad school ball situation and private school or moving to a different zone is not an option?
 
Jun 11, 2013
2,619
113
Towny, you didn't ask me but school ball is the one place in the kids entire careers they don't have a choice where to play. You can move to different travel teams or rec teams, you get to pick your college but HS you are kind of stuck with. You have 2 choices if you can't switch schools. 1. Ride it out and play. Not so bad if you just have a bad coach, but not so good if you have a total jerk. 2. Do something else for those months. Do a school play, run track, join a club.
 

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