Leaving team before season starts

[Shiloh]

The coach is exploiting kids to meet his neurotic competitive needs.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

When people show you who they are, believe them.

This coach has shown his colors - he recruited your DD, then turned around and brought in another catcher/hitter above her when he had the chance to do so. He lied about the team size and lied about your DDs role.
So now he is trying to squeeze her to fit her in where he needs her, i.e. as insurance in the field and at the plate.

Don't be someone's insurance policy. Follow your instincts and move on.
I've never seen a situation like this reverse.

 

[erniekru]

I would only leave the team if the players above her start under performing and the coach doesn't give your DD a chance to prove herself in the top spot. If this is the case, it's not fair competition and that is a reason for leaving.

The game is about beating out "all comers", coaches will always pick up the best players they can on a gold team.

If practices are really good and your daughter is putting in the work and improving greatly, that is what matters. Preach to her that feeling down is natural but good things happen to people who work. Good things might be the opportunity she gets on her next team or it might be with this one, it is yet to be determined!

I'd wait awhile, especially if the team has a top tier reputation. It will make it exponentially easier to find another team

 

[Rick M]

Using the same lineup four games in a row at 11U is a bit of a red flag for me, but if you played 20 games in the fall the coach should have a pretty good idea of what he’s got.

You mentioned that your DD didn’t hit well in the fall, but worked really hard in the offseason. If she went 2-4 while others went 0-5 (five ABs in four games sounds like not too much offense) then she should expect to see more playing time and a higher spot in the lineup.

I would say you owe it to the coach to digest what happened at your last tournament and make adjustments accordingly. If she continues to hit, and nothing changes, then it’s time to start looking. In the meantime, you said coach bats the whole lineup in pool play, so your daughter should continue to work hard and take the opportunity to impress.

Good luck!


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

[gator5]

The 2 hitters in front of her were both 0-5, one of them struck out 5 times. The catcher we added in the fall, hitting 4th, was 1-5 with 4 K's.

You have to play it out more than a week, IMO. But don't be afraid to make a move if this continues. She needs at bats, and it is not fun sitting the bench.

My story of playing time and our decision to stay.

On one team we were on, the best hitter on the team in batting average was routinely benched because she was not good enough in the coaches eyes - despite being the best hitter. At the end of the same summer, my daughter led the team in home runs, triples, RBI, was 6th in BA, but was also benched for 'better' girls. My favorite: She hit a game winning 3 run home run to win the quarter-finals game in a 4-2 win, then got benched the next game. Aah, [not so] good times.

The coaching staff stopped posting stats after both girls asked why they were not batting more when they were doing [much] better than the "good" girls.

Due to matters out of my control, we stayed on the team the next season. The next summer, a new girl who led the team in batting average and home runs was only deemed worthy of 8th in the order for most of the year behind the coach's daughters and favorites (she is signed D1 now as a hitter) . You know, they lost that hitter, and my daughter, who was the best pitcher, after that summer due mostly to game management. I really wish we had left a year sooner.
We actually had committed to that team for the whole last season, so we could not leave since I had given my word (we had numerous teams reach out to us and offered my daughter a spot so the opportunity to leave was there). My daughter learned that my word means a LOT to me. If I had not given my word, we would 100% have left after the fall season and not played the summer.

 

[MidwestSoftballDad]

I appreciate everyone's insights and discussions. It's great to hear what others think and learn from others.

The girls didn't get a ton of at-bats this weekend for a couple of reasons. We didn't hit great as a team. Especially in the semifinals where we lost to the eventual champion. Also, games were only 60 minutes drop dead. We really had to hustle to get in the number of innings we did. My daughter, batting 11th, had two games where she only got up 1 time.

I'm hoping the lineup changes. Our concern is it won't. It's the same lineup we used most of the fall. I guess we'll see. My DD said she's not interested in quitting this team yet and wants to work. We like the organization and it's probably one of the best in our region.

 

[LEsoftballdad]

I would love to say it would all change as your daughter's play improves, but that would be a lie. Some coaches have their favorites, and nothing you say or do will ever change their ways. Now, that's not to say that a lot of good coaches won't change as they see improvements from players, so I would give the coach a chance before jumping ship.

 

[Shiloh]

I would only leave the team if the players above her start under performing and the coach doesn't give your DD a chance to prove herself in the top spot. If this is the case, it's not fair competition and that is a reason for leaving.

The game is about beating out "all comers", coaches will always pick up the best players they can on a gold team.

If practices are really good and your daughter is putting in the work and improving greatly, that is what matters. Preach to her that feeling down is natural but good things happen to people who work. Good things might be the opportunity she gets on her next team or it might be with this one, it is yet to be determined!

I'd wait awhile, especially if the team has a top tier reputation. It will make it exponentially easier to find another team

It's 11U!

 

[soonerfan1966]

Not just 11u but 11u gold.

 

[Strike2]

It appears that you've attempted a step-up from your DD's old team. Nothing wrong with that, but if you joined a team that was already pretty much formed, it might take a bit more time to gain traction.

At 11U, your DD can try to engage the coach, but ultimately you're representing her interests. I wouldn't, as a parent, talk to the coach right now. I'd wait for at least one more tournament. When you do, don't talk about batting order unless she's tearing the cover off the ball in her next tournament and still can't crack the top ten in the lineup.

Talk about defensive innings, and that she needs to be playing more in the field. A 12-player roster isn't at all hard to manage, and there's no excuse to keep a competent player on the bench. She joined as a catcher...is she close to as good behind the plate as the others? If so, three catchers should be rotating in pool play at the very least. Is she fast enough to play OF? I'll tell you that training my DD to play OF as an 11-12yo was one of the best moves I ever made. She was a bit chunky at the time, but got taller, leaner, and faster almost overnight as a 14yo. She still got her IF innings, but being ready and able to work in the OF and outperforming others meant very little bench time on a roster that sometimes had 13+ players in the dugout.

One last thing. It took me a bit, but I eventually learned that being on a youth softball team is a marathon. Those who keep showing up will outlast many others. If it's a good team, and your DD likes her team mates, keep grinding a few more weeks and see what happens. Catchers will become increasingly rare and valuable as you progress. For every coach who thinks he has one too many, there's at least two others who would crawl over hot coals to get another. The demographics of fastpitch softball are your long-term friend here. Get her some catching lessons to go along with the hitting.

 

[flash277]

If you are paying to have DD on the team, you have every right to talk to the coach, no matter how old the players are, school ball, not so much. And like that cat Strike2 said, if your DD is a good catcher, teams will be happy to have her.