Lazy kid

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May 16, 2016
946
93
Set up appointments with the catcher friend. When she knows all week, she has a practice appointment with a catcher on Thursday at 4:30, for an hour, she will be more likely to go.

30 minute lesson is short. If there is space, I would show up early, and do all the warm ups for 30 minutes before the lesson, so the lesson time is all about teaching, not warming up.

Boom, just like that you have added 90 minutes of practice a week.

IMHO, 30 minute practice sessions really are not productive. You barely get past warm ups in 30 minutes. You are better off with an hour twice a week, then 30 minutes, four times a week.
 
Jun 27, 2021
418
63
If she can't do the outside work then she may need to look for another position. Being a good pitcher does not always mean you have to throw, you can work on mechanics, spins, bands and those take 10-15 mins at most at that age. Throwing is crucial but she can work on other areas too. End result will be how she does in the game.
 
Oct 3, 2011
3,478
113
Right Here For Now
After reading everyone's responses, I still have that one thing sticking in my head. She's a 3 sport athlete; more like 4. Let me start by telling you about a pitcher I picked up last year at second year 14U. She was a tall, strong step-style pitcher throwing low 60's with good control and movement as well. I talked to her and told her if she learned to leap and drag versus step, she'd be throwing high 60's maybe even hit 70. She is also a 3 sport athlete. Fast forward to this year. She has moved on to our 16U team. She has gone from being #1 to #2. She's too busy playing HS VB to show up for Fall tournaments and too busy with BB (her true love) to come to Winter practices. I've gone to watch her play all of her HS sports last year and the one she has the most potential in is being a top P5 Major D1 pitcher in SB. But that only happens if she puts the work in which she is not willing to do. She hasn't seen her pitching coach going on 5 months now and it's obvious that the only time she practices pitching is when HS ball starts back up. By the time she gets to 18U, I can see her as the #3 or 4 and she won't be happy but it will be too late by then.

There's an old saying in the sports world, "You can be good at 3 sports, you can be great at 2 but you can only be exceptional at 1 of them."
In this particular case, my former pitcher is perfectly happy being good at 3 and having fun at all 3. As much as she keeps saying she wants to play collegiate sports, she will end up deeply disappointed because she works at none of them outside of that sport's season. I've tried talking to her about it (not pushing any particular sport) on several occasions but it has fallen on deaf ears. So it's apparent from my (outsiders) view that she's perfectly happy where she is at athletically. I just pray it doesn't hurt too bad when she doesn't get all thos college AS offers she's expecting.

So the question you need to ask your DD is if she's okay with being only good and getting less playing time as the years go on because everyone else will pass her in their chosen sport. The only ones who won't are the ones that continue to have that "rec ball" mentality, don't work at any of them outside of it's season and continue to play all 3. That said, She is only 12. If it were me, I would sit down with her, set a schedule of 2 1 hour workouts outside of lessons with her input, schedule her catcher friend and let her know the lessons will stop when the outside work does. Then leave it up to her. Actions speak louder than words.
 

osagedr

Canadian Fastpitch Dad
Oct 20, 2016
280
28
Would advise her that you will pay for one lesson per 4 times she practices on her own. If she is not willing to work, then you are throwing good money after bad.
 
Jun 7, 2021
5
3
Personally I would find a different pitching coach!! the best coach is the one that holds your kid accountable. I would not coach a kid if I know or see that she isn't putting in the reps. My kid is a D1 pitcher from 12U onwards she pitched to me or a friend 1 - 3 times a week during Fall/Winter or into a tarp in basement or garage. We only saw the pitching coach once a month MAX most of the time it was once every 6 weeks. Coaches give drills and you need to work on the drills its about repetition for a pitcher. I hear of all these kids who see there coach 2-3 times a week. WHY???? Especially as a pitcher you need to learn how to focus and grind by yourself.........you spend a long time on the mound with NO HELP!!! just you, you need to learn how to tough it out by yourself in practice.
 
Oct 23, 2014
30
18
We had the same problem, it was hard to find anyone to catch. (I was horrible at it, and gave up once she got over 50 mph). My daughter hated pitching to an empty net as it just wasn't the same as having a catcher and targets. We started to use brightly colored pipe cleaners tied onto the net to create a zone, and then I would sit behind the net just close enough to almost catch the ball before the net stopped it. The second issue was scheduling. Teens are so busy, we had to make appointments with reminders on our shared Google calendars which days and times she would do the home practice and stick with it. Otherwise, there's a 1000 different things they could or should be doing that get in the way, and before you know it the week is done and it's time for a lesson again.
 
Jan 28, 2020
58
8
We struggle with this at home too, 13 year old. Playing basketball after school practice until 5:30. Softball team practice 2x a week until 9pm. Pitching one night a week, gets home close to 9pm. Basketball game 1x a week, home at 9pm. Try to squeeze in a batting lesson. All pre-AP classes and straight A kid that gives her all a school work. When is there time?! When there is free time, she want to relax or hang with the family or do things on the weekend we don't get to do because of tournaments! The struggle is real, but when there is time to practice on her own she is not the most motivated to be in the garage.
 

tad

Apr 6, 2021
5
3
Kid says she wants to pitch but won't work at home. Never complains about going to lessons, but never wants to put in extra work aside from that. She did just finish junior high basketball and is getting ready to start volleyball. I feel like on one hand if I take her to lessons she at least throws a couple times a month....on the other hand I think why the hell am I paying for lessons when she won't do what she needs to in order to get better? She's 12, getting ready to turn 13. Doesn't have an at home work ethic for any sport, not basketball, volleyball, or softball. What are your thoughts? Would you continue to fork out $$ for lessons? She has some potential, swears she wants to play, always wants to pitch in games, but doesn't want to work at home for any sport she is doing.
My thoughts are 1) You can talk to the pitching coach and have her/him provide specific at home assignments. For example, "I want you to practice at home three times a week for 45 min. Do our regular warm ups, then X amount of time on what we worked on this week, and then X amount of time full pitches." This can give her some motivation without it coming from Dad/ Mom.

And 2) as a parent you may need to be a motivator and participant. One way to help is to figure out specific times that YOU can practice with her and that she would be available. Preferably figure out more times than you need. Then have a non-confrontational conversation and say something like, "I know its hard for you to get motivated to practice at home, its always easier and more fun with teammates. But can we agree that you need the practice to get better?" or if you have already enlisted her coach to instruct her that she needs to practice, just say, "But we agree your coach wants you to practice X number of times") She will say yes to either question. Then you can say, "Great!, so, I figured out that I can catch for you on these 5 days, at these times for 30-45 min. each (whatever you think she can tolerate) let's pick three days, put them on our calendar, and agree that WE WILL practice on those days." Then it is going to be up to YOU to commit to her. IF she fusses, particularly when you first start these practices, I would just say "hey, we agreed. I'll set up outside, let's go. I'm not arguing, we agreed. Once she gets out and starts throwing, she'll be fine. and once you all have made it a habit, she'll stop fussing and hopefully look forward to it.

If you have gone through these steps as a partnership and she still fights you tooth and nail, you may need to sit her down and calmly say, "look, it's OK to play on a rec team or not play at all, but If you really want to play TB, and get the extra coaching, you have to do the work. I am not going to put in the money and time and effort, If you aren't going to do your part. So, think about it and let me know. " If It becomes an epic showdown, you may have to let it go.

Finally, whatever you all do, make it her choice. You can present the choices but she should make them. Once she makes them, I think it is OK, actually a good thing, to hold her to them, unless it becomes clear she really just doesn't want to do this. It's OK to nudge her, to motivate her, to get started on a given day. Please be a loving parent and helpful partner in her development.

Good luck.
 
Sep 10, 2019
59
8
Kid says she wants to pitch but won't work at home. Never complains about going to lessons, but never wants to put in extra work aside from that. She did just finish junior high basketball and is getting ready to start volleyball. I feel like on one hand if I take her to lessons she at least throws a couple times a month....on the other hand I think why the hell am I paying for lessons when she won't do what she needs to in order to get better? She's 12, getting ready to turn 13. Doesn't have an at home work ethic for any sport, not basketball, volleyball, or softball. What are your thoughts? Would you continue to fork out $$ for lessons? She has some potential, swears she wants to play, always wants to pitch in games, but doesn't want to work at home for any sport she is doing.

This is a great topic and glad you mentioned it. We have a player the same age who has been experimenting with pitching for 3-4 years. She’s had a few pitching coaches, so we’re in tune with the evolutions of that situation as well. We’ve experienced many different levels of commitment in both pitching and playing softball in general, varying from season to season. We try new things three times before making any decisions. Our primary focus appears to be far more on academics and arts than softball. She really likes softball, especially the social part. But hey, I’ll take a stellar GPA any day of the year.
 
Apr 6, 2021
8
3
Kid says she wants to pitch but won't work at home. Never complains about going to lessons, but never wants to put in extra work aside from that. She did just finish junior high basketball and is getting ready to start volleyball. I feel like on one hand if I take her to lessons she at least throws a couple times a month....on the other hand I think why the hell am I paying for lessons when she won't do what she needs to in order to get better? She's 12, getting ready to turn 13. Doesn't have an at home work ethic for any sport, not basketball, volleyball, or softball. What are your thoughts? Would you continue to fork out $$ for lessons? She has some potential, swears she wants to play, always wants to pitch in games, but doesn't want to work at home for any sport she is doing.
I am a varsity Softball head coach and let's remember the player is 12 years old and may not be ready to accept the added responsibility and extra work it takes to become a pitcher. I wouldn't push it but instead, keep the pitching lessons going and use nothing but positive feedback after every lesson. You will find out son enough if your daughter has the fortitude to do what it takes to become a pitcher.
 

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