Lazy kid

[JayW]

I have a similar situation with my 12yr old. Your comment about trying to watch mechanics while catching her is something I struggle with as well. Recently I've been bringing a bucket of balls to the field and filming her throwing to a ghost catcher. Although I'm no expert, it allows me to break the video down in slow motion and better analyze her mechanics....helps her to see it as well. I'll also occasionally text the video to her coach for feedback...particularly when I can't find a flaw, but the pitches remain errant.

I find that the slo mo video from the side really helps me to see what is going on with the mechanics.

 

[JayW]

I’m just glad my daughter is participating in a sport that she likes, even if she doesn’t necessarily reach her full potential. Anything is better than her first activity - a jazz ballet tap class that ended in a 3 hour recital for the whole dance school.

 

[El Oso]

30 minute lessons, if she is on she gets to work on new things, but she's off and unfocused it's just mostly trying to get her body back into good position and hit her spots.

She is a 3 sport athlete if she makes the volleyball team (4 technically because we own a bowling alley, so she also bowls). We are busy busy people, rarely home so I try and give her grace. She isn't a 3 sport athlete stud....she is strong and athletic, and could be good at anything but doesn't put the time in at home to really get better at basic things so she sits a lot.

She says she likes them, and I think she does. I think she likes being a part of something....haven't figured out if she doesn't care about being good OR if maybe she doesn't really believe in herself that she does have potential.....

The high B team is a new team, and she swore she would be dedicated to and work at home. She does get playing time in each game usually, but not quite as much as most the other girls. I coached her team before, we were a rec team that played in tournaments. She wanted to move to a better team and I finally let her, yet still no work ethic.

I think you need a middle of the road approach. Not you forcing the issue every time and not her going out there on her own un-prompted, which at that age is a pretty big ask quite frankly IMO.

Set up a weekly schedule for her practice. Set 45 minute periods 2-3 times per week. Tues at 6 at Thurs at 7 for instance. Get her to agree to the schedule, let her set the day and times. Then give it to her. Treat it like lessons, hard day and times that you must show up to. This way you are letting her know what is expected but you aren't the one forcing her to go practice every time she goes, which can build resentment.

 

[softball dad 6]

I have told this story before but I will retell it with apologies to the old timers on here.

When dd wanted to start down the tb path we had a talk.

What are your goals?

If you are playing tb then the expectation is that you are willing to put in work outside of scheduled team activities for us to continue the time/money commitment.

Her original goal was to play HS softball which them morphed into playing college softball. We went through various stages of practicing outside of team activities. It went from all the time when she was young to me reminding her. When I reminded her of her commitment I did so by asking her what she thought the girls she was going to be competing against at the next level were doing, not you need to practice 1 hour a day 3 days a week. While I had to ask her many times iver the years if she wanted to go to the field she usually did. If I asked twice and she ignored me like she didn't hear me I knew that meant "I don't want to go to the field today". Luckily this did happen often. She started having success on the field in 2nd year 12s. I think this helped. When she was home from college for Thanksgiving the weather was good. We got to go up to the field a couple of times. It was sure a lot of fun and reminded me I don't have many more of those times left.
Did my dd reach the level of softball her abilities would have allowed? No I am told not. Did she reach the level of softball she wanted to? Yes. She is very happy with her college, getting a good education, and continuing to play the game she loves for a few more years.

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[_MIA_]

I’m just glad my daughter is participating in a sport that she likes, even if she doesn’t necessarily reach her full potential. Anything is better than her first activity - a jazz ballet tap class that ended in a 3 hour recital for the whole dance school.

Marcela did dance when she was like 3 or 4...they had a recital at the end and I fell asleep..literally. It was warm and dark in the hall... My DW was so mad at me..

 

[Eric F]

She says she likes them, and I think she does. I think she likes being a part of something....haven't figured out if she doesn't care about being good OR if maybe she doesn't really believe in herself that she does have potential.....

The high B team is a new team, and she swore she would be dedicated to and work at home. She does get playing time in each game usually, but not quite as much as most the other girls. I coached her team before, we were a rec team that played in tournaments. She wanted to move to a better team and I finally let her, yet still no work ethic.

Ask her what her favorite things are about softball. Ask her if being one of the better players on the team matters to her.

If she says she wants to be a better player, ask her what she thinks it takes to get better. If she doesn't, okay. So be it.

Find out what she wants out of the game. Adjust your expectations accordingly.

 

[cvsoftball]

sounds like she is afraid to succeed.

 

[schwabach]

She is 12 going on 13. Even my somewhat driven daughter had to be pushed in the right direction at that age.

Sometimes you need to let kids figure it out for themselves.

 

[MadBandit22]

Kid says she wants to pitch but won't work at home. Never complains about going to lessons, but never wants to put in extra work aside from that. She did just finish junior high basketball and is getting ready to start volleyball. I feel like on one hand if I take her to lessons she at least throws a couple times a month....on the other hand I think why the hell am I paying for lessons when she won't do what she needs to in order to get better? She's 12, getting ready to turn 13. Doesn't have an at home work ethic for any sport, not basketball, volleyball, or softball. What are your thoughts? Would you continue to fork out $$ for lessons? She has some potential, swears she wants to play, always wants to pitch in games, but doesn't want to work at home for any sport she is doing.

I wouldn’t spend the money on pitching lessons unless she started working on pitching at home.

You may want to point out that the pitchers in front of her getting more circle time not only get lessons but also work at home.

As a parent you don’t want to force kids to do anything. You want to point out what the better “successful” kids are doing to be better than the rest and hope your daughter follows suit and takes the road less traveled. (Hard way)

It’s all about making good informed choices to help yourself get to where you want to be.

 

[ang2bmd]

Here is an important consideration. How affordable are the lessons for you? Is it a hardship to continue then? Do you enjoy the time with her in the car? Are there great talks and alone time? Otherwise I agree work at home once a week or no lessons.

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