Your perception of coaches is just so, so bizarre. Coaches love to discuss the moves they make (even the bad ones!). With other coaches. And umpires. And other people who know the game. Probably not so much parents though since most of them truly have no clue what they're talking about (to be fair, quite a few coaches don't either).
Last High School Game for a 2022; Need to Vent
- Thread starter CMMom1740
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When parents here complain about bad coaches, I tend to write most of it off, but there's no reason at all for coaches to jerk kids around like this. Communicate. Don't play mind games. Don't be afraid to hurt a kid's feelings if you feel it's what's best for the team (cutting the kid outright would hurt, but doing what this coach did is much worse).
That said, I think I know what the coach was thinking here. She didn't want to keep these seniors. I don't know why. Maybe the Freshmen were better. Maybe the seniors had bad attitudes. Maybe the coach just doesn't know what softball talent looks like. But instead of cutting these seniors, she gave them a weird ultimatum in an effort to try to get them to just quit. They called her bluff, and instead of sticking to her end, she changed the rules. Maybe she meant well (coaches usually do!), but she handled it all so, so poorly.
I know she didn't want to keep them. She didn't want to cut seniors, especially seniors who have been with the program for four years. She wanted them to quit. We knew it -- everyone knew it. But she could have told them at the end of last season, or when my DD was showing up over the summer, or at the beginning of tryouts. We just figured that she'd reward girls who had made the effort and had made contributions to the team, the program and the school. These were girls who had fund raised, who had cheered, who had supported and practiced and worked to be part of things. None of them were malcontents or troublemakers. She just had in influx of shiny new freshmen she liked more.
What's amusing about this to me is one of DD's travel ball teammates had to transfer to a different school over the summer. Also a senior. She tried out for the new school's team, and the coach put her on, gave her some PT during the season. "I wouldn't cut a senior." is what the coach said to her when she went out.
I think high school ball is about the community and the girls who make the effort to be on the team. And some coaches understand that -- they see coaching as a responsibility and a gift to be able to influence lives. But the bad ones, the crappy ones, the pathetic ones think it's about their win/loss record. About how awesome THEY are. Tatonka's right -- they get empowered by the parents of the players they like and by administrations who have other/bigger things to worry about.
So we're in agreement that how the coach handled this was all wrong. She couldn't be the adult and just make a decision. That's a real quick way to lose respect of the kids (and parents).
That said, there's so many complaints here about coaches not trying to win games or making clearly bad decisions that cost the team games. It appears that this coach saw the Freshmen as better players, if not immediately very soon, so her decision was made to win games. So what do parents actually want here besides whatever best suits their kid in any given situation?
Should the coach keep lesser players because they're seniors? A whole bunch of posts here complain about how bad seniors get to play over better underclassmen. Should the coach give seniors special treatment because they've been with the program longer?
I don't envy coaches who have to make these kinds of cuts (we've only had to cut one year, and everyone who got cut had never played softball before; one other year we cut a girl because she was a danger to herself).
I'm not saying you're wrong when you say it's about influencing lives and not about wins/losses. But you're in complete disagreement with many of the parents on DFP who complain about their coaches. In fact, you're in complete disagreement with the OP in this very thread. So how, exactly, do coaches make all the parents happy?
I think you keep and play your seniors. I thought that when she was a freshman, and I think it now. They’re the leaders of your team and possibly your school. You demonstrate that playing time is a reward not only for talent but for contributions. And if freshmen outplay seniors who have been with your program for years, that’s on the coach.
You tell freshmen that unless they’re needed for numbers, they sit behind upperclassmen. But girls ought to know that if they stick with it, there will be a payoff. That their contributions are and will be valued.
There are plenty of opportunities in this sport for coaches and parents who only want to win. High school shouldn’t be one of them.
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I think you really have that 100% backwards.
Like I mentioned above, the prevailing opinion is that TB is not about winning but instead about learning and development. HS is pretty much only about winning as is college. Coaches get fired every year for not winning or for not turning a losing program around.
And like Coach pointed out above, there are parents in this very thread that on one hand are complaining about seniors not playing and underclassmen taking their spots and then the others mad that their freshman don’t play even though they are better then the seniors.
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AS I have stated before, if HS and college ball should only be about winning, they should be abolished. If winning is the only thing that matters, athletics have no place in academic settings. People forget that when justifying the existence of school related athletics, so many things are talked about, teamwork, dedication, community, hard work, commitment, etc. IF acamedic based athletics are not there to promote those, why are they there? just sucking away funds really that could be used for academics.
That being said, HS coaches should try to win, but not at all costs. many seem to be mostly about appeasing those with connections. and no, seniors should not always be in front of underclassman in terms of PT or depth chart, but there should be a place for them. and they should absolutely get to start one game (ie senior game).
a premier college basketball program in the nation always starts its seniors for their last home game, and every other year this is against another successful program and arch rival. walk on senior will still start over hotshot 18 star frosh who has been killing it all year. why. it is the best for the program. maybe not for just that night, but overall for the long haul. it pushes kids to sacrifice and work hard, even if they will never see meaningful PT other than this one game. and they never call TO to sub them either, but wait for first stoppage after about 2 minutes.
That being said, HS coaches should try to win, but not at all costs. many seem to be mostly about appeasing those with connections. and no, seniors should not always be in front of underclassman in terms of PT or depth chart, but there should be a place for them. and they should absolutely get to start one game (ie senior game).
a premier college basketball program in the nation always starts its seniors for their last home game, and every other year this is against another successful program and arch rival. walk on senior will still start over hotshot 18 star frosh who has been killing it all year. why. it is the best for the program. maybe not for just that night, but overall for the long haul. it pushes kids to sacrifice and work hard, even if they will never see meaningful PT other than this one game. and they never call TO to sub them either, but wait for first stoppage after about 2 minutes.
Nothing. That's all they want. Ha!
If you're the parent of the new shiny Freshman coming in you want the coach to put winning first and foremost by playing the best player regardless of age. That was me 2 years ago when my shiny Freshman A ball player batting .465 in pre-season was sitting behind the Sr. basketball/softball player who never played Select in her life and was hitting .115 once district games came around. But if you're the parent of the Sr. who isn't as good as the freshman but has "contributed" to the program for 4 years by working the concession stand and selling chocolate bars, you want the coach to forget about winning and only worry about rewarding the upperclassmen. Selfishly subjecting the other players on the team to losing games they should be winning.
I can honestly say that high school ball should be about winning, first and foremost. At some point we have to teach these kids that there are no participation trophies out in the real world. You win or lose that job interview. You win or lose that meeting with the boss asking for a raise. You win or lose that account you are trying to get to buy your product. And you don't win them because you have contributed to the program and gone to all the workouts. You win them because you were the best.
So if TB, HS and now according to you college softball are not about winning then when does it actually matter? Or does it matter until someone’s kid gets their feelings hurt or if a kid that is “obviously better” doesn’t get to play. Or should we just stop keeping score and give everyone a ribbon at the end of the day?
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