I lost it with the 12U Coach.

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Jun 17, 2013
7
0
Midwest
The only reason I've stayed this long is I don't want my daughter to think it's ok to quit when things get tough. Plus, I really like those girls. Everyone of them tries hard and I know my daughter and I will miss them dearly. I've thought about asking him to step down and take over but I highly doubt he would even consider that.

I appreciate everyone's opinion.

TW
 
Nov 29, 2009
2,975
83
What you're dealing with is a guy who thinks because he's the loudest it makes him right. This guy does not know how to coach/teach so he's imitating what he though his college coaches were doing with MEN. He'll NEVER get the full potential out of young female players on his team. A lot of times Coaches yell for no reason because they don't know what they're doing and know nothing better.

Ask the people at Rutgers how they feel about an abusive bully. This guy sounds just like the clown they got rid of.

Ran into a real Tool like that last weekend. Barking nonsense at his players during warm ups. Barking at the ump to the point the ump basically told him to shut up. Barking at another umpire about a slapper to the point he went and got the UIC who told him he was wrong. A third team finally stuck a sock in his mouth by putting up 8 runs in one inning on his starting pitcher. EVERY player on the team hit the ball hard. His pitcher might as well have been doing soft toss.

You were right to tell him like it was. However, I doubt this guy will have an epiphany and change his tactics. If what you say is true he sounds like a practiced buffoon. You should put things in place to have your daughter leave the team. The one question that has me scratching my head is where did he find 3 replacement players for the girls who left the team already?

One thing that might help. Video tape him then show him how childish he sounds during one of his rants.
 
Dec 5, 2012
4,143
63
Mid West
As coaches, (AC or HC) we need to always stay focused on why we even started coaching in the first place... it needs to be a fun and constructive experience for the kids and not basic training... once my dd had tried out for another team and makes it, I would huddle everyone up at next practice. Parents, players, and all other coaches and say that I was leaving for these/those reasons. A good coach is firm, but should never act like a bully. JMHO, James
 
Aug 5, 2012
66
0
I'd finish the season out if he doesn't attempt to kick you out. You may be the girls only hope in taming the beast. I think you've taken the first steps and now should hold the course. Explain to him why what he does is wrong, why it makes playing way less enjoyable than it should be. Tell him the best coaches are firm but never let the girls see them too high or too low. Tell him he's not coaching a football team, that while boys need to play well in order to feel good, girls need to feel good in order to play well.

Granted, some girls respond well to tough coaches, but he needs to find a balance, because many girls do not. Give yourself time to work on him and if he continues on this course, then at least you know you left not only stating your piece, but actively tried to influence him for the sake if the girls. Even if he tones it down 20%, you will feel good knowing you affected the lives of these girls more than how to play the game.
 

About Them

Awaiting genuis pills
Aug 30, 2011
54
0
Chicago Suburbs
I'm in a nearly identical situation and did the same thing....going head to head. My daughter feels the same way yours does. While my HC is not nearly the bully yours is, bullying is bullying.
 
Jun 17, 2013
7
0
Midwest
I plan on sticking with it till the season's end which is soon.

Funny thing...hadn't seen him since Friday's blow up, last night he was all smiles, said hi to me and acted like nothing ever happened.

Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde. Maybe what I said made him think. Doubtfull. Will he continue his bullying? I'm sure. But at least I got
my frustrations out and maybe he'll see that I'm not putting up with it anymore.

This team was started with us 4 dads, he asked to be HC so we said ok. What the hell were we thinking! He knows I'm not going anywhere unless it's on my terms, not his.

TW
 
Jun 24, 2010
465
0
Mississippi
If you are going to stay, you need to stick up for the other girls that are not you DD, to make you point seem more valid to this type of person. Good luck.
 
Jun 17, 2013
7
0
Midwest
Update from our game last night. (He's been nothing but super sweet to me too. Ugh)

Had a player slide into 3rd base last night and break her ankle. She's ok, but she's done for the season.
The HC had no sympathy for her, he picked her up (she was crying) and motioned for me to come and get her.
So I went out and help her to the dugout. What did he do...nothing. Not one ounce of sympathy. Her parents came into the dugout to see how she was. I was helping with her shoe, getting ice on it etc. HC....he was telling the girls to wake up and be aggressive.

About 20 minutes later, he still has never checked on her or talk to her parents, her dad got the car and took her to the hospital.

He never asked or talked about her for the rest of the game. The girls were all concered for their teammate but they gave it their all and came back to win the game. This HC's daughter broke her nose during a practice last year. Did not comfort her at all, just told her to lie down. I went and got ice and made sure she was ok. He got on his phone, called his wife and made her come and get her. He went back to "coaching". There are other times when I look back that make me wonder about his behavior as well.

So last night my wife and I got to thinking... what if he is a sociopath? At first we said there is no way, he's very well educated, blah blah blah. But we read several articles and now I'm convinced he is!

Understanding the Sociopath: Cause, Motivation, Relationship | Psychology Today

This article in psychologytoday is dead on!! Now I'm convinced he needs to quit asap!.
 

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