Helping a quiet kid

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Jan 20, 2023
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I’d love to hear how you helped your quieter kids speak up a little more in a team dynamic.

Coaches seem to love the loud outgoing kids. How to I get my happy to practice by herself at home - not in your face - loves the game and improving lots kid - to say coach can I play X? I’m next etc. instead of always letting kids get in front of her and missing out on reps.

She gets to play plenty in games- I’d just love to see her own some space in practice. She misses reps but always wants to practice at home- so we do- but I’d love to see her grow into her role. She’s one of the younger kids- but it’s also just her nature.
 
Jun 10, 2018
55
18
NY
When I coached I always made a point of giving quieter kids a chance to shine. Felt that that was what it was all about, being in the role of manager/coach. Maybe you could ask the coach to try to draw her out a little, dont let the louder kids drown her out or hog the spotlight. A good coach will care about that opportunity to help a less spotlight-seeking kid. Just my two cents, some might disagree.
 
Jan 8, 2019
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Like @Rule#6 noted, a good coach will draw out the quiet kids and get them to own more a little at a time, but that does require earning her trust first! Getting put on the spot without wanting to be there can be a bad thing, too!

If she’s quiet in front of teammates, maybe have her tell her coach before or after practice what she liked about the day or hopes to work on that day.
 
Jan 25, 2022
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With the ones I've been around, it just takes some time. It's usually after they've been immersed in the rest of the team. Generally takes anywhere from half the season to somewhere into the following season. I always make it a point to talk to them. Crack some jokes, or come over and kick some dirt on their cleats. Just stuff to get some interaction and make them laugh. It doesn't take long to get dirt kicked back at me. Another thing I like to do with any of them who are quiet or striggling with confidence...I remind them of a catch or play or hit. It could be days later and I'll say

"Hey! Remember that time you caught that pop fly on the run?"

"Uhh...yeah?"

"That was awesome."

It usually gets me a confused look at first, but after I do it again a few days later they fall in with the joke. But, they realized that I remember it long after the moment and I'll see them start to push themselves a bit more. Then down the road I'll say something like "remember when you couldn't even throw and catch?" and they'll roll their eyes and say something like "yeah I can't believe that was ever me!"

Unrelated to the shyness thing, but with the more savage kids, I'll remind them of a popup they MISSED. I said it to one of the middle school girls yesterday, and I reminded her about a month ago and we reenacted it, complete with me playing the part of the girl who almost ran into her and mostly caused her to miss. It's always good for an eye roll and a laugh. She missed that ball a year ago.
 
May 20, 2015
1,095
113
we had a team full......plenty of game, plenty of IQ, just didn't speak up.....not pre-play, not during play, not post play

so we had a practice where we lined up cups with their name on the bench.....we spent a TON of time that day doing situational work......players in position, simulated pitch, i hit.....ghost runners

any time a girl talked pre play, in play, post play.....candy went into their cup

it started with 'nice play' post play.......then slowly they got more vocal........it was noticeable the next weekend, even our parents mentioned it

all it took was a little nudge, and they became a little more confident to speak up, and then it continued from there


i realize you were asking more from an individual standpoint, but this is what worked for us as a group
 
Jan 20, 2023
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How old? She sounds young.


You know what coaches (or at least good ones) love more? This:



She will be ok..

She’s 13 - so not that young- but did join a team that she is the only new kid. Coach and team are great - just trying to help her find her voice especially in this more supportive environment. I’d love to get her a little more confident/ vocal before high-school in two years.
(Her previous coach was not great and highly rewarded extroverts and picked on her a lot)
 
Jan 20, 2023
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OK. It was this comment:



which made me think she was young. That sounds like a 10U thing vs a 14U thing just in terms of teammate
behavior.

That’s why I’m asking for help!

Granted she just had her first tournament with this team- so she’s still very new- but it’s an ongoing thing.

Her coach is great and makes a point of coming up and telling her how glad they are she is on the team and that she made great plays etc- but in practice she just always goes to the end of the line for stuff and let’s other kids in.

Before the disaster team she was was on an amazing rec team for a bunch of years and the other kids would push her in and watch out for her - she was the quiet kid with 50% of the team RBIs and the coach’s daughter just acted like her guardian angel- telling her to get up there.
 

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