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[BT3100]

Need your help.
I have noticed this over the past few years but don't know how to handle it. Any help would be appreciated.
My kid performs exceptional during tryouts... She is extremely motivated to be the best she can be when people are assessing her. However after she makes the team/league/level/ she loses interest and fails to perform at the same level she does during tryouts.
Tonight she took part in an "A" level tryout for an elite team in her age group. She was so amped for the tryout that I was scared that she would be nervous.
I sat on the bench and watched a girl who I've know for 12 years perform like someone I've never seen before. She's a pitcher and tonight she looked like Lisa Fernandez. I don't say that tounge and cheek she had an out of body experience. There were a few kids trying out and one parent asked me "is that your kid"... I said "no"
On the way home the wife called and asked how she did... I said.... Well they loved her, but I wished they would have seen her pitch in a game.
She get's the Yips in games and can sometimes lose focus. Part of it may be the lack of confidence in the fielding and her desire to strike every girl out... but what can I do to stoke that "tryout fire" in her every day?
My wife said to me tonight... "She would be better swimming.. as she is not a team player and only really cares about herself". I refuse to believe this. DD told me tonight " I just want to be on a team that wins, our team struggles and I love my teammates but it's so nice to win".
I pushed back with "it's your job to go out there and do your very best to limit any runs.

Any advice?

 

[BobInMadison]

The Yips are a strange disease.

My DD's pitching can be, well, interesting. At first she was great in practice, but horrible in rec ball games. Then she got the confidence to pitch well in rec ball games, but would completely choke in tournaments. She would tense up so much, it was truly painful to watch.

Her TB coaches make her take a nice, cleansing breath. Actually, TWO of them for every pitch. It helps a lot. She is not the only one who does that. I once took her to a college game where the Wisconsin pitcher did the same thing.

It is all in the head.

Remember, when she is trying out, she can't lose the game for her team. There is a LOT of pressure on the poor kid in the circle.

Edit to add: My DD's TB pitching seems to be a lot better this year than last, but her coaches tell me she is still very tense on the mound. She is NOT the same relaxed girl on the mound as the girl who warms up or practices.

Your DD's "lack of fire" could be the pressure of not wanting to let her teammates down.

 

[nikkilugi]

So the question is - how to get your dd to relax out there? Deep breathing is all well and good and my dd does the same thing but she still struggles. My dd is a totally different pitcher in practice (with me) and lessons vs. a game. In practice she throws great - way harder and with more accuracy. She will go into a game and look like a zombie. She slows way down and is erratic. She will pitch high and will continue to pitch high - she can't think straight to make adjustments while she is out on the mound.

I talk to her and talk to her about how it is not her job to strike every batter out. How it is the job of the batter to hit the ball and it is the job of the defense to make outs, yada yada. It doesn't help. Her game performance lately has been so bad it has gotten to the point that she 1) doesn't get to pitch much in games anymore, 2) I am asking her "are you sure you are a pitcher?" "Maybe you would be happier in another position?" She always insists she is a pitcher - she wants to pitch.

 

[RetiredCoach]

I view a lot of performance issues as stemming from the parents putting too much pressure on their DDs. And I know that, for the most part, parents aren't aware of the fact that they are putting a lot of pressure on their DDs. From your post I gather that you are putting a lot of pressure on your DD!

I would suggest that you should take a "chill pill". Let your DD be--herself. And let her figure out for herself what she wants to do and how she wants to be.

I am not saying this to you as some "perfect" parent who has never made this mistake. I am saying this to you as a parent who's made many mistakes but has, over the years, been able to rehabilitate myself--a bit.

Here's a fun experiment to try. We all know about the long drive home after a bad game where maybe us parents are schooling our DDs on how they must change and improve and going over all their mistakes. I've managed to stop this. I compliment what she did good. Asked her if she had fun, etc. and leave it at that. Now that she knows that it isn't some kind of trick, my DD will ask me about her controversial play and what maybe she should have done better. It much more positive and fun that way!

 

[CoachKevin]

Kind of what I take from the OP is that she is probably on a B team that probably has 6-8 errors per game. As a pitcher it really gets frustrating when your defense kicks routine grounders, or drops cans of corn fly balls. Lets face it winning is fun, losing isn't. She flat out said she wanted to be on a team that wins. Maybe that will be her motivation. I take it that the current coach doesn't or can't sit her because she is one of the better players on the team? Getting on a competitive A team is probably her best bet.

The OP, you told her it's her job to go out there and try to limit any runs scored... well if the team has trouble fielding what is she supposed to do? Of course she is trying to strike everyone out... that is what you told her to do!!!!

 

[JJS]

Coach Kevin hit the nail on the head. Think of the student that isn't challenged in school. They bring home mediocre grades because they aren't being pushed to do their best work. Same thing in softball. If she is facing mediocre teams, or playing on one then she isn't being pushed to her full potential.

 

[Pop time 00]

It's not just pitchers, my catcher kid does the same. If she misses a block or makes a bad throw, I can actually see her take that cleansing breath and try to reset. It seems to work for her.

 

[YOCOACH]

Kind of what I take from the OP is that she is probably on a B team that probably has 6-8 errors per game. As a pitcher it really gets frustrating when your defense kicks routine grounders, or drops cans of corn fly balls. Lets face it winning is fun, losing isn't. She flat out said she wanted to be on a team that wins. Maybe that will be her motivation. I take it that the current coach doesn't or can't sit her because she is one of the better players on the team? Getting on a competitive A team is probably her best bet.

The OP, you told her it's her job to go out there and try to limit any runs scored... well if the team has trouble fielding what is she supposed to do? Of course she is trying to strike everyone out... that is what you told her to do!!!!

And although I agree with this sentiment, I have to say, it sounds to me as if the pitcher herself isn't being challenged enough. By that I mean, she can only do so much. No matter the level, there will always be good batters and they will hit. If there's no defense behind her, then they will lose. So what to do? I agree that the best place for her would be on an "A" team however, she needs to realize, that unless the team she is joining is in the top 25 or so teams in the country, the team will probably lose as often as they win. An attitude adjustment might be in order as well.

 

[JAD]

Part of it may be the lack of confidence in the fielding and her desire to strike every girl out... but what can I do to stoke that "tryout fire" in her every day? Any advice?

Have her pitch more to live batters in practice. You can also just have a batter stand in the box while she is practicing. Have them switch sides to simulate right handed and left handed batters. Then put a batter in BOTH boxes at the same time. After doing that for a week pitching to just one batter at a time will seem easy.

 

[BT3100]

Thanks for your input!
I do think that she is a little frustrated that her team is struggling on defense. They won their first tournament this season. She pitched all 4 games on Sunday (3 full games and one 1/2).
That weekend she was lights out and carried the team. Since then she hasn't been as good and it's frustrating her.
I appreciate the point of view that I may be putting too much pressure on her. I don't think that it's the case but I will ask her mother for feedback
The only thing that I ever want (just like all of us here) is to have her show in games what I know she is capable of... ie: What we see in practice.
There is merit to the post that spoke of her playing to the level of her team. I see that in her but never really thought about it much.
She guest played last fall for a top tier team in our area. She looked better than I've ever seen her. I think the level of talent drives her. If she thinks she's top tier on her team she looses motivation. Scary.