Finding a team when blackballed

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Jun 5, 2023
6
3
Omaha, NE
I need some advice. I'm so disheartened right now that I wish we could just walk away from this sport entirely.

The problem is, my 2011 daughter is very good at it and has aspirations of playing D1 college softball someday.

So, back story... the atmosphere on our team had become very toxic. It mostly stemmed from the head coach and another of his assistants. They were both extremely negative and fed off each other when things were not going right, to the point they would argue in the dugout in front of the team. Several of the parents had begun to voice their displeasure amongst each other, with most of the voices being against the assistant. When it reached a boiling point, they reached out to me, as I was an assistant coach, to see if I could help. I went to the HC with the intent on discussing the situation. As we were discussing, he immediately texted the other assistant at which point she resigned on the spot. Afterward, he immediately did an investigation into what happened. The problem is, everyone was so afraid of him retaliating against their kids, they didn't stand up to him. As such, he decided it was me that was the problem and I made it all up. Now, we are no longer members of the team, and he has reinstated her. The remaining girls are distraught, but that cannot be my problem anymore as I stuck my neck out for them, and they cowered away.

He has since blackballed us to all of the other major organizations in our town. He even went to a parent he knew that would be on her future high school team. As we all know, softball is a very small community. We are not a big name in that world. I can't even seem to get my foot in the door for a tryout for next year for my daughter. There are several smaller orgs we could look at, but they are not going to push my girl to get her to where she ultimately wants to be.

Suffice it to say, I'm kind of in a dark place about the whole sport right now. I need to figure out something to do for my daughter though. She really wants to play. Do I suck it up and put her on a one of those smaller orgs and ride it out for a few years, likely at the risk of her development? Or how do I get it so we can at least get in the door for a tryout for a big team? She would be a huge asset for any team. I think if we could just get to a tryout, her skill would make some coach be greedy enough to pick her up.

Thanks all!
 
Last edited:
Nov 26, 2010
4,784
113
Michigan
Your answer is in your post. It’s a small community, other coaches and parents see what he does in the dugout. They witness the fighting and they hear stories from other parents. Just keep your head down and move on. As for thinking D1 it might be a bit early, perhaps just focus on going to any college.
 
Jun 5, 2023
6
3
Omaha, NE
Your answer is in your post. It’s a small community, other coaches and parents see what he does in the dugout. They witness the fighting and they hear stories from other parents. Just keep your head down and move on. As for thinking D1 it might be a bit early, perhaps just focus on going to any college.
Thanks. I only say D1 to illustrate the dreams she has, and I absolutely think she has the drive to make it happen. I am a realist and accept that so few athletes get to play college ball, let alone make it to a division 1 team. But that's my daughter's desire and I stand behind her 100% to do everything I can to give her every opportunity possible.
 
Jun 5, 2023
6
3
Omaha, NE
goals are 100% fine. Just remember to be realistic and there is a whole lot more to college softball than only D1.
Agreed. But I want to give her every opportunity I can to help get her where she wants to be. It's just so frustrating to now feel like I'm fighting an outside stigma against our name that we didn't ask for. Sorry, like I said, I'm kind of in a dark place about it all right now.
 
May 11, 2018
91
18
its june teams are already full, this is why you might not be getting tryouts. its a tough sell for coaches to pick up a new kid now, many parents would be floored. good luck
 
Nov 23, 2021
82
18
SC
we went thru a similar situation but i wasnt part of the coaching staff. if its as bad as you say other coaches proabbaly already know as well and shouldnt hold it against your DD. biggest thing is to call the other teams, not facebook or other social media messaging crap. Talk to the coach and tell them your situation and let them know that was about putting your daughter first so that she can be her best and that its not about YOU! then go to practices stand down the lines, keep your mouth shut and let your daughter do her thing.
 
May 29, 2015
3,731
113
D1 only means they have more money. It doesn't mean anything beyond that.

As for your conundrum ... find a place she can play and have fun. Sounds like you were done a favor.

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