Dusty cleat diaries: so that's what 1-and-done feels like

[Momo'sDad]

From spring 2007 to February 2013, I never missed a one of my daughter's softball games. There were many occasions when I'd split an out-of-town assignment just to come back for a game or 2 and then I'd fly back to wherever I was working that week.

When the 1st weekend of March came, though, I needed to be away through Saturday and would miss the pool play of her team's opening ASA tourney. Fortunately, Mom texted me the play-by-play (but sort of dropped the ball by not getting the HR on video!) and while I felt like I was there, it was not the same. It was a new experience for both of us, but Mojo handled my absence much better than I did.

I was able to get back home late Saturday in time to hopefully watch the girls make a deep run on Sunday, despite going 1-2 in pool with a couple of tough, 1-run losses.

Sunday morning, they reversed the normal trend of falling behind early by jumping out to a 3-1 lead and seemed to be cruising. But then all of a sudden, a dropped pop fly in foul territory led to a quick, 4-run rally by their opponent and a couple innings later, the floodgates opened for the other team and our girls were unable to generate any offense the rest of the way.

It wasn't even lunchtime yet and the team was out. Meanwhile, the lone team they'd beaten on Saturday won 2 games and advanced to the semis.

After the post-game chat, the coaches then came out to the parents and announced that they wished to enter another tourney the following weekend (where they'd see a few of the same teams). Sure, there was disappointment over the loss, but the bulk of the disappointment was over the fact that the team hadn't played anywhere near their potential. The coaches' thinking was that the girls should play again soon in order to get this one behind them more quickly. All the parents agreed completely.

Those were 2 new experiences for my daughter and me. I can't say I enjoyed either missing a game or seeing them not win at all on Sunday, but with luck, we won't have to experience either again anytime soon.

 

[Sparky Guy]

It was a new experience for both of us, but Mojo handled my absence much better than I did.

Welcome to the first step of letting go. It's the realization that as the girls get older they don't "Need" you there to play. They may "Want" you there, but that's all. When they reach a certain age they MUST make the game theirs and theirs alone in order to continue to play at higher levels.

You'll get over it. You have NO choice in the matter.

 

[Indiana]

Parenting a teenager is tough - I've found it to be much harder than the never restful babies and toddler years. The hardest part is letting go and trying to get to know this new person who is emerging and changing before your eyes. That said, though, looking back at my own teenage years and playing days, I was always happy when my parents watched me play. I didn't always want to talk to them about it, especially after a loss or if I felt I played poorly, but I was always glad that they were there (even if I didn't tell them that!).
Playing field hockey in college, I took a shot on goal to my face during a game against Brown University. My parents had made the drive down from Boston to see me play; boy was I glad they were there that day!

Yeah, the once and done on Sunday is tough - it's like "well, instead of sitting here in the sunshine enjoying the day I get to go do Sunday errands and chores - sigh."

 

[Coach-n-Dad]

I am one of the lucky ones who have never missed a game so I can't help you there...

The "one and done" phenomenon, however, we have experienced many times. They happen. Just wait 'till you are 400 miles from home and you are on the road at 10am on Sunday

 

[Momo'sDad]

Thanks so much, Sparky Guy. You're right - I raised her to be independent, so I don't get to be upset about her turning out how she was supposed to.

Indiana, she definitely loves having me there, which I appreciate more than she knows. Sometimes I don't have anything to say about her play because she knows what happened, but on those times when I do want to tell her something I noticed that she may not be aware of, I always ask first whether she wants to talk about it. If she doesn't, it's dropped, but if she does, I tell her quickly what I saw and we have a brief chat about it. Practice days aren't always easy, but we keep game days fun.

 

[Cannonball]

My dd is taking the field at 2 today. I won't be there. It is a change in schedule as the teams try to avoid the rain this weekend. It is killing me right now. I teach and feel this obligation to my students and so, I can't take off. Still, I want to see her play. I couldn't eat lunch because of it. It isn't that she needs me to be there. She doesn't. She's a big girl now. It is that I only have x amount of times left to see her play and our time is running out. There will be more of these days and so far, it has not gotten easier.

 

[MandM]

One and done- sadly, been there, experienced that. Not so bad if you played your best and got outplayed, downright unpleasant, if play was sloppy and game was handed to other team. All you can do is regroup and come back more determined- coaches have the right idea.

With regard to missing a game. I am currently a "softball orphan"- Against every fiber of my being, DD went with HS south to Florida for an intense week of softball. She is a freshman. And while parents are welcome, I decided to stay home, trying desperately not to send Q1H texts, arghhh! I thought it was time she play with her team without me hovering (although I don't think I hover, really). DD is handling this all great. I am in withdrawal.

 

[MandM]

My contact today- I get text- "I am going to call u after games". I text back , "everything OK?, I am out but can go outside if you need to talk" (me of course, expecting pitching was tough). Her text "Its great, call you tomorrow- do I do darks in cold water?" that was it.

Momo's dad- this is the not too distant future for you too!