Daughter Uninterested in other sports at HS level

[LRH1969]

Hmmm there's an influence to this...
Are you saying you learned about regret?

She's only 14 she can make a different decision next year if she needs to. What happened to live and learn?! Can you really teach your daughter this lesson you learned ?... asking because you learned your lesson through experiencing your decision.
just perspective.

Didnt learn about the regret until many years later, learning from the things I missed out on. At 15 i was a good football player, starter, and had a decent chance of playing in college. I chose to quit in the 10th grade and get a job, because I thought I needed to. Years later regretted it upon learning all the things I had missed out on. My parents never pushed me or talked to me about it, but I wished they would have. But I only played one sport. My DD is in softball, band, and basketball. She just may need a break. They have a meeting for basketball this week, I will see what she decides to do. There is a difference in what I call instant regret, and age old regret. Maybe not enough of a regret to worry about, who knows.

 

[CoachJD]

Well, she is only 14, so?????? Not really old enough to make decisions on her own, yet.

LOL, she absolutely is old enough to make this particular decision.

She's in high school now. Time for her to start growing up. Let her.

 

[Hawk_]

My son is 14 and he trained all summer to run cross county (150 miles over the summer at 6am). He is VERY good at it and would have run in varsity meets all year. Then he made honors band and is in all GT classes. I am the "you make a commitment you stick to it kinda guy"....... But a 14-15hr day every day of freshmen year of HS and then homework after..... he felt it was going to be too much.
He made the wise choice to pick what he loved the most, band.
Sometimes we want things for our kids that they just don't care that much about... or that they know they can't handle.
Is 14 to young to make life choices like this..... I don't think so. I think it's time they start.

 

[cnardone]

Can you really teach your daughter this lesson you learned ?... asking because you learned your lesson through experiencing your decision.

So many lessons cannot be taught. Only learned. Maybe this is a parent lesson that has to be learned.

 

[radness]

Didnt learn about the regret until many years later, learning from the things I missed out on. At 15 i was a good football player, starter, and had a decent chance of playing in college. I chose to quit in the 10th grade and get a job, because I thought I needed to. Years later regretted it upon learning all the things I had missed out on. My parents never pushed me or talked to me about it, but I wished they would have. But I only played one sport. My DD is in softball, band, and basketball. She just may need a break. They have a meeting for basketball this week, I will see what she decides to do. There is a difference in what I call instant regret, and age old regret. Maybe not enough of a regret to worry about, who knows.

You quit all sports.
And learned what from getting a job?

She just wants to focus on one sport. Not quit.

Best thing you are thinking it through!

 

[Nimrod]

She has a say, but I am also experienced enough to know that at that age she may regret it later. I know this because I did, in a very close situation when I was her age.

I assume you mean she has the right to make the final decision and not merely a say in it.

Yes, she might regret not playing, and it's good parenting to ensure that she's thought it through. But she might also regret playing when she didn't want to do it. I'd trust her to decide what she's more likely to regret.

 

[LRH1969]

Thanks everyone, I appreciate all the input. I have voiced my opinion to her and told her ultimately it is her decision. Her last game in softball was last night, (lost in districts 6-0, but she had an awesome game) and she will have two weeks off before she has to make the choice. I am good with it either way, as is her mom. We will see what happens. I'm glad she loves softball.

 

[FP26]

My son is 14 and he trained all summer to run cross county (150 miles over the summer at 6am). He is VERY good at it and would have run in varsity meets all year. Then he made honors band and is in all GT classes. I am the "you make a commitment you stick to it kinda guy"....... But a 14-15hr day every day of freshmen year of HS and then homework after..... he felt it was going to be too much.
He made the wise choice to pick what he loved the most, band.
Sometimes we want things for our kids that they just don't care that much about... or that they know they can't handle.
Is 14 to young to make life choices like this..... I don't think so. I think it's time they start.

Bold above is a great point. I don't think anyone is saying to "rip the bandaid off" at a certain age. Part of growing up is learning how to make these decisions on your own. Part of parenting is guiding your children through the process. Knowing when they need guidance. And, more importantly, knowing when they are far enough along to handle more responsibility themselves.

 

[radness]

When I was 10 can remember my mom showing me how to do my own laundry. She said
'you dirty your clothes you should learn to wash them'. 8 years later when I went to college can remember others in the dorms who did not know how to wash their own clothes.

Thanks Mom!