Competitive Nature?

[Strike]

My opinion is that of course you can motivate players to play harder or work harder, but isn't that different that what he was asking about being innately competitive and driven. And I think "loving it" in your second question is also a completely different thing. I would say that most of the girls on the teams my DD has been on "love it" more than my DD but they are out there just as much for the social part and the big bows in the hair and the pool parties at the hotel. She just wants to hit the fricken ball and strike out the #4 hitter. I'm sure a good coach can help someone find their competitive side if they don't know they have it. But i would like to conjecture that if you're kid has a competitive side you've seen it already.

Lol. I laugh at the big bow part. It took 2 years of my wife and a team mom to talk my DD to wear a bow in her hair. Most of the girls did on the team. She thought it was fine for other girls but not for her. She is girly to a point and likes her hair braided (just so she doesn't have to keep redoing it all day). The bow didn't last past the lead off hitter in the first tournament of this spring getting a base hit. She gave them a stink eye, jerked it out, called time and threw it in the dugout. Don't know what ever happened to that bow. She proceeded to K the next 3 batters on 10 pitches. Wife and other mom apologized and told her she never has to wear one again.


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[Eric F]

I'm a clinical psychologist and this is the age-old debate of "nature vs. nurture." The truth is that the answer is both for virtually any personality trait. I believe that for most, but not all, people, there needs to be some sort of "something" lying dormant within. The environment either provides the spark to light the child's "pilot light," so to speak, or it does not. As an example that has NOTHING to do with softball, there are some unfortunate people who have an underlying genetic predisposition for certain mental illnesses, and environmental factors (e.g., stress, abuse of substances) can have a "kindling" effect on those genes, sparking them to "light up." I once saw a young man who used laced marijuana and became paranoid and aggressive. He was hospitalized on the psych ward where I worked, and the question was whether the psychotic symptoms would go away once the drugs were out of his system. They did not and he was diagnosed as paranoid schizophrenic. Had he stayed away from drugs, would he have developed symptoms of schizophrenia? Who knows? Point is, I will never become an Olympic gymnast; I'm too big and have no flexibility. I don't have the raw material necessary, and I don't think anyone could have coaxed it out of me.

Good post!

In my DD's journey through rec ball, and now TB, I've coached a range of girls from those who don't give a damn about winning or personal performance to those who base their own self-worth on their on-field performance. From what I can tell, it's a combination of how they're wired (nature) and their environment (nurture). The competitively-driven players tend to come from families where that aspect is encouraged/supported/pushed. That said, those without the wiring struggle in an environment that demands performance.

As for my DD, she's a driven competitor, but not to an extreme. She likes to win and to be personally successful, but she doesn't eat-sleep-breathe softball every moment of every day. She works at improving her game, but she's not the hardest worker, and sometimes is flat-out lazy. She's naturally athletic, but among the other gifted athletes her age in the world of TB, she's a step or two down from the top. School is pretty much a parallel.

 

[canyonjoe]

I think it's a combination of nature and nurture. I am extremely competitive and DD gets that from me while my DS is more like my DW where they will give it 100 percent when they play but turn it off quickly. DD has no problem playing with any group from Rec to A TB and plays at the same level. What she can't take at lower levels is the commitment that is given at practice. When she was 7 she decided that she wanted to catch pop ups so we went out every night and worked on it until she finally had one hit to her in the game. She doesn't count PB and WP in games merely how many balls got by her for any reason. She was at a party a few years ago and they had a sponge Bob drawing contest. She did hers in 3D to make sure she won. When she was in 3rd grade they had a typing contest and she came in 2nd to a 5th grader. The next year she practice and typed 75 WPM to win by 30. What we have instilled is that a game is just a game and both of my kids give it all they have when they play anything while always realizing it's just a game. She can take a loss hard, but usually gets over it quickly.

 

[CoogansBluff]

So, your point is that the non competitive kid sat on a bench at half time, listened to a speech and suddenly came out a world beater?

No, point is that a person's desire to win and competitiveness is not fixed. It can be changed, one half to the next, year to year. Bjorn Borg was super competitive, until he turned about 26, and he's not so competitive any more. Same person.

My opinion is that of course you can motivate players to play harder or work harder, but isn't that different that what he was asking about being innately competitive and driven.

I think it's hard to determine how innately driven and competitive that someone is. The kid who shows little fight might actually be more innately competitive, but just doesn't believe that her hard work will pay off.

I just wouldn't want to think in terms of kids being inherently this or that, even though to some extent they are. I believe that competitiveness and desire are more about the environment than nature.

 

[CoogansBluff]

Another interesting thing about competitiveness is the value of it.

Not sure I see it as a positive or negative trait. Probably something that is best seen as having an optimal level. Some of the most competitive people are the worst a-holes. Lance Armstrong comes to mind. Too much competitiveness can be a sign of insecurity. Not enough could be a sign of depression or hopelessness.

 

[Cannonball]

Another interesting thing about competitiveness is the value of it.

Not sure I see it as a positive or negative trait. Probably something that is best seen as having an optimal level. Some of the most competitive people are the worst a-holes. Lance Armstrong comes to mind. Too much competitiveness can be a sign of insecurity. Not enough could be a sign of depression or hopelessness.

That is a good point. We had to create a rule for BB that when her team lost, she could not cry in public. She always blamed herself for her team losing. For the longest time, she could not focus on the good she did in a game but where she failed. At one point, it was scary. BTW, it is a little tough on the boyfriends sometimes. BB's boyfriend took her out once to shoot rifles. He thought he was good. Bad idea, BB grew up shooting as well. She told him that if they ever got into a bad situation, she'd protect him. LOL

 

[Eric F]

That is a good point. We had to create a rule for BB that when her team lost, she could not cry in public. She always blamed herself for her team losing. For the longest time, she could not focus on the good she did in a game but where she failed. At one point, it was scary. BTW, it is a little tough on the boyfriends sometimes. BB's boyfriend took her out once to shoot rifles. He thought he was good. Bad idea, BB grew up shooting as well. She told him that if they ever got into a bad situation, she'd protect him. LOL

LMAO!!

In my experience coaching 8U-12U, the most competitive players often tend to be the ones who are most likely to be crying on the bench after a strikeout or error. They expect success from themselves. Those players also tend to be the ones who will work the hardest so it doesn't happen again. In a game built on failure, some kids take a long time to figure out how to handle the emotional aspects of it.