I was just wondering where folks would fall on this. Kind of figured there'd be "the rules are the rules" folks and "it's kind of a special situation" folks.
Commish Corner: what would you do?
- Thread starter BuckeyeGuy
- Start date
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Wow, guess you have had a perfect life and only one kid to get to practices. As a cancer survivor with 2 DD's and DS I believe that some accommodation can be made.
If it had not been for the understanding of the type of people and coaches in our leagues like BuckeyeGuy we would have had to stop playing sports all together. Its call compassion.
We were fortunate enough that my youngest girl could play up and during that time. She is a small/petite catcher and as a then 13yo held her own against some pretty big High School Girls during a couple of tournaments.
BuckeyGuy, which ever way you go try to help the girls play together. Not only to help the mom and what she is going through, but the single team and the support system that it provides will do wonders for the girls well being.
- Aug 12, 2014
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The special needs girl is a no-brainer. In the second situation, unless the 13 year old is a total stud, I'd let her play down. This is rec ball and if we can't make an accommodation for a family whose mother is dealing with cancer, then what the hell are we doing?
My DD started playing as a second year 8U, and lucked into a team with wonderful coaches. She would have had to move up to 10U for her second season while most of the team (including the coaches) stayed at 8U. DD would have been totally overwhelmed at 10U, and it could have killed her interest in softball. An understanding commish let her play down for the spring season and it was great for her. She moved up to 10U in the fall and continued from there.
My DD started playing as a second year 8U, and lucked into a team with wonderful coaches. She would have had to move up to 10U for her second season while most of the team (including the coaches) stayed at 8U. DD would have been totally overwhelmed at 10U, and it could have killed her interest in softball. An understanding commish let her play down for the spring season and it was great for her. She moved up to 10U in the fall and continued from there.
Letting a special needs child play down is NOT precedent for another child playing down because of transportation difficulties.
From my experience as a commish, slippery slope applies. You make this exception for a family dealing with cancer, do you make an exception for the family whose mom works 16 hours a day and will struggle to get kids to different practices? Or any of the other things that will inevitably crop up?
What the family is going through is terrible and they deserve sympathy. However, they do not deserve special treatment.
If an exception is made, it should be the younger girl allowed to play up to the older girls age group.
From my experience as a commish, slippery slope applies. You make this exception for a family dealing with cancer, do you make an exception for the family whose mom works 16 hours a day and will struggle to get kids to different practices? Or any of the other things that will inevitably crop up?
What the family is going through is terrible and they deserve sympathy. However, they do not deserve special treatment.
If an exception is made, it should be the younger girl allowed to play up to the older girls age group.
No, but it is precedent for playing down for whatever reason. IOW, exceptions have been made for special cases.
The younger girl would have to play up 2 age groups, also not allowed by the rules. She is allowed to play up on year in age, so as an 11 year old.
Then I would make the two girls play in the appropriate age group even if they are separated.
Making rule exceptions up on the fly in a league that large is asking for trouble. I don't agree with it, but I can understand why the one guy said even the special needs children should be playing in her age appropriate group.
What people forget is that rules are just words on paper. Accommodations can be made in rec ball. What is best for the kids? What is best for the family? And then what can the league do to accommodate them?
Sometimes as adults we forget that our actions have consequences for the kids and families. The league has a chance to do something good, but not working to accommodate this family makes the adults and league look bad. But that is just my opinion.
Sometimes as adults we forget that our actions have consequences for the kids and families. The league has a chance to do something good, but not working to accommodate this family makes the adults and league look bad. But that is just my opinion.
- Sep 29, 2014
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I think the special needs girl is OK because Safety is the primary reason.
In the second case if I understand it correctly you have two girls and their proper age groups are 10U and 15U ...they need to play in their own division (IF the ages were closer I probably would accommodate the request). I understand this will be a hardship on an already hard situation, but I think this is exactly what community rec league is all about, once people get to know the girls and the situation my guess is you will have each girl making friends (probably already knows a few girls from school) and parents pitching in offering rides and doing what ever they can to help, I have seen it happen many times.
In the second case if I understand it correctly you have two girls and their proper age groups are 10U and 15U ...they need to play in their own division (IF the ages were closer I probably would accommodate the request). I understand this will be a hardship on an already hard situation, but I think this is exactly what community rec league is all about, once people get to know the girls and the situation my guess is you will have each girl making friends (probably already knows a few girls from school) and parents pitching in offering rides and doing what ever they can to help, I have seen it happen many times.
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Yeah, you'd think, right? It is a constant thorn in my side though - I had one parent pull her kid because she couldn't be on a team with a family they know even though the team and coach had already offered to help with rides. I was told "You're crazy if you think I'm going to leave my child with someone I don't know in today's world!"
Honestly, to me it's less about transportation and more about keeping the sibs together in a troubling time. Yeah, they'll make friends, but there's nothing like family. And what if there's an emergency and dad needs to grab the girls for some reason? It's possible for them to be on fields that are a 30 minute drive apart. It's rec. We're going to have 13 year olds in 12U no matter what - age cutoff is 4/30.
Anyway, like I said - I was just curious what folks might think about the situation.
I think the special needs player is an obvious exception to be allowed to play down.
I would stay away from allowing the 13 yo to play down though. Even though it would probably be the right thing to do for the situation, you as the commissioner have to anticipate the ramifications for a league of 600. If it were a small league where most everyone would know the situation that would be one thing, but you know people will see/hear that she is playing down and not know the whole story then request exceptions be made for their kids based on "hardships" much less severe than this family's. If you open that Pandora's box expect a landslide of these requests from people who don't know the whole story, just that an exception was made.
The only solution I may be able to suggest is to get with the coaches of the girls proper divisions and see who has players/familys who may know them, go to school with them or live close by, and who would be willing to help them out; then be strategic in your team placement of them. If you can find parents on both teams who would be willing to offer rides, emergency contact etc. this may help the girls to play without exception to rules. Also find out when and where the respective divisions teams practice (if you don't assign that). Maybe there are a 10yo and a 15yo teams who practice at same location within reasonable times of each other that would help solve transportation issue for practices. If your league does a straight draft you may have to make an exception regarding placement, but that's not an obvious exception that will be evident to people who do not know why the exception was granted. Then you can explain to the family why the exception was not granted, but offer them assistance in order for their girls to play. My guess is that you will find more help than they actually need from your league community.
I would stay away from allowing the 13 yo to play down though. Even though it would probably be the right thing to do for the situation, you as the commissioner have to anticipate the ramifications for a league of 600. If it were a small league where most everyone would know the situation that would be one thing, but you know people will see/hear that she is playing down and not know the whole story then request exceptions be made for their kids based on "hardships" much less severe than this family's. If you open that Pandora's box expect a landslide of these requests from people who don't know the whole story, just that an exception was made.
The only solution I may be able to suggest is to get with the coaches of the girls proper divisions and see who has players/familys who may know them, go to school with them or live close by, and who would be willing to help them out; then be strategic in your team placement of them. If you can find parents on both teams who would be willing to offer rides, emergency contact etc. this may help the girls to play without exception to rules. Also find out when and where the respective divisions teams practice (if you don't assign that). Maybe there are a 10yo and a 15yo teams who practice at same location within reasonable times of each other that would help solve transportation issue for practices. If your league does a straight draft you may have to make an exception regarding placement, but that's not an obvious exception that will be evident to people who do not know why the exception was granted. Then you can explain to the family why the exception was not granted, but offer them assistance in order for their girls to play. My guess is that you will find more help than they actually need from your league community.
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