Coach yelling (sorry long)

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Aug 10, 2016
686
63
Georgia
I HATE the coach or parent from the stands who yells, "Cmon THROW STRIKES!" if a pitcher is struggling... No shirt! What do ya think she's trying to do? She's not out there trying to walk people. As a coach, be specific..what in her mechanics is not working or off and fix that, remind her of those type things.

Yea like I said when she came in after pitching - they did ask her what she thought was happening and why she was having issues. She said she didn't know but I know that sometimes pitchers just have bad days.
 
Aug 10, 2016
686
63
Georgia
OP again and it probably has come across that the coaches are constantly screaming at the girls. They aren't. I don't know how they coached them the years we weren't there - maybe it's normal or maybe it's new. I don't really know what happens in the dug-out or at the coaches' meeting or even one-on-one between the coaches and a player. I do know the one time the coaches talked to DD she said it was a nice calm conversation - DD was having an off day at practice and wasn't doing what she normally does - so they spoke with her about it. And she learned and moved on.
I think the issue is that the team we moved from was very lax and no one really cared all that much and the coach never really got on anyone. Practices were super low-key - it's just nice to come to something where they aren't coddling the girls.
DD has always been with coaches that love her and she never really got told she wasn't doing something right - so it's good for her to get that feedback.
 
Nov 20, 2020
995
93
SW Missouri
OP again and it probably has come across that the coaches are constantly screaming at the girls. They aren't. I don't know how they coached them the years we weren't there - maybe it's normal or maybe it's new. I don't really know what happens in the dug-out or at the coaches' meeting or even one-on-one between the coaches and a player. I do know the one time the coaches talked to DD she said it was a nice calm conversation - DD was having an off day at practice and wasn't doing what she normally does - so they spoke with her about it. And she learned and moved on.
I think the issue is that the team we moved from was very lax and no one really cared all that much and the coach never really got on anyone. Practices were super low-key - it's just nice to come to something where they aren't coddling the girls.
DD has always been with coaches that love her and she never really got told she wasn't doing something right - so it's good for her to get that feedback.

Without being able to hear the "yelling" or the tone and inflections of it......it's really hard to say if that is why girls are looking to leave all of a sudden. If this is something that's been part of these coaches for years then I doubt that's the singular reason.

What it could be, as was posted earlier on, is the uptick in losing due to playing better competition. Girls are likely making more errors now as well. And maybe because there are more errors, on what appears to be routine or practiced plays, there is also more "yelling" or stern discussions than usual. I obviously don't know this for fact. I'm making assumptions based on the information presented.

All in all, to me, it sounds like the coaches are pretty level headed and aren't screaming at the girls after every mistake. And that they try to keep practice fun but focused. And games taken seriously. I'm okay with that. I'm also okay if a girl is struggling at her position that she sits the next inning to re-collect herself. It's happened to DD. And after an inning or two she went back out and performed much better. No harm no foul. I do like that the coaches have discussions with the players. Both as a group and one-on-one. I've seen a lot of coaches get loud and get after a player rather than have a talk on the side which is way more beneficial. And should always end with a positive comment about the player....especially at the younger ages.
 
Feb 20, 2020
377
63
Losing sucks. Getting yelled at sucks. and if you aren't planning on making softball a significant part of your future, at 16 it becomes a very hard thing for girls to continue to want to do.

DD wants to quit her team right now. The other girls are being jerks to her (teenage drama, some real, some not so much to me, but I'm 50), the team is bad and she's not having fun. She's got a job, wants to make money, feel good about what she's doing rather than spend her weekends feeling bad. But she's one of two pitchers on the team, and the other one is new and wavering, and she feels a loyalty to want to stick out what she started. And I admire that, but at the same time I have to ask her whether it's worth giving up every weekend for half the summer when the rest of the team is not making a commitment to being better.

But to the OP's question, 16-year-old girls are practically adults. They don't want to be yelled at by anyone, for any reason. None of us do. So, if the team is losing and the coach is yelling, it's not a matter of them being weak as much as it's a matter of "I have more fun things to do with my time than this."

Let me ask you this -- when a mistake is made, what does the team do? Do they rally together in the circle and pull each other up or do they just hang in their spots until the next pitch? I've not been able to convince our team to do this -- nor our coach, who doesn't want to get chastised for stalling -- but I think there ought to be some communication after every play. Just a quick huddle, slapping gloves, whatever, in order for the girls to all know they have each other's back all the time. The best teams I see in college and travel do something like this -- they really do emphasize being goldfish* And I think it makes the team all like each other more.

But the truth is to the OP, that eight years is a lot of summers to have given up, especially when one can now drive. So the girls who are leaving probably aren't going because of the yelling -- though it doesn't help -- but because of the losing and the idea of better things to do.

*see Ted Lasso for reference :)
 
Nov 20, 2020
995
93
SW Missouri
Let me ask you this -- when a mistake is made, what does the team do? Do they rally together in the circle and pull each other up or do they just hang in their spots until the next pitch? I've not been able to convince our team to do this -- nor our coach, who doesn't want to get chastised for stalling -- but I think there ought to be some communication after every play. Just a quick huddle, slapping gloves, whatever, in order for the girls to all know they have each other's back all the time. The best teams I see in college and travel do something like this -- they really do emphasize being goldfish* And I think it makes the team all like each other more.

DD's head coach has never been one to circle the girls up after a few errors in a row happen. He's not much in the way of spontaneous talking. Which is okay, not everyone is. Mentally, our team overall is young and prone to shutting down after multiple mistakes happen. They stay in their positions and stair straight ahead. The other assistant coach and myself started taking it upon our selves to circle the team up from time to time and just talk them up. More often than not it helps. And works to re-focus their thoughts back into the game and not dwell on the mistake. It doesn't have to take a lot of time. And I never worry about being perceived as "stalling". If I'm allowed the time within the rules then I'll use it appropriate to the situation.

I love the Ted Lasso reference. I've often yelled "be a goldfish" to DD on the mound and used it in the group circle. The girls enjoy it and think it's silly.
 
Oct 4, 2018
4,611
113
I guess I should clarify the type of yelling - it's more like "hit your cut offs!" when they make a mistake with throwing it in or stuff like "if you're going to call the ball - you need to catch the ball!" To me, it's just the coach saying what the rest of the parents are thinking too. But the coaches are allowed to since they are the coaches.

And for the most part I think if they are going to say anything else, it's done in the dug-out so we don't even hear it.

Good point. There are so many kinds of yelling. Heck, I yell out "Great Play!" quite often. :p

Sounds to me like there's a bit more going on than the yelling...
 
Aug 10, 2016
686
63
Georgia
Coach usually comes out when things are going crazy - and they huddle with INF. On DD's previous team there was sooo little chatter. This team is a lot more vocal which I love so they are really good at being encouraging. C usually knows when to go calm the pitcher down. Some catchers aren't as good at that.
 

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