Coach goes off the deep end?

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Feb 1, 2021
273
43
Haven't read all the comments. Sorry but I have a very special experience to share.

I just went thru this exact scenario with my sons club soccer coach. Once it gets to the point you are, it just goes downhill from there. Granted I stayed quiet for 2.5 years, but I finally hit my limit. It wasn't pretty. Our coach had club directors to answer to and I didn't so I knew I could go way further than he could, but I wanted him to hang himself with his own words.

The director censored him so he kept his job, but they eventually let him go after the season. We however packed up and left immediately. They allowed us to play on another team within the organization which actually worked out well. It was a tough decision but had we not finally blown up, nothing would have changed. I don't regret the choice at all. Our coach was a lunatic.
 

Strike2

Allergic to BS
Nov 14, 2014
2,044
113
SOooo...we have ended our relationship as of this afternoon. Coach called today and basically started with a semi-apology, then he went into he was ready to cut my DD (really me) on Monday but had reconsidered. Then he proceeded to tell me that most of the coaches he had talked with would have made my DD sit the next tournament out because of me. Also, that he had at least 3 to 4 A Class pitchers who couldn't wait to be on his team.

I let him talk, then call DW and the Kid. Decision was made and I called him back and let him know we had decided to part ways to preserve our friendship and that we wished them luck and success. We already have a pickup opportunity this weekend in East Texas with a team that is just fun for the kid to play with. Picked up with them in the past and they are a blast. Plus they are near the grandparents who never get to see her play.

I don't understand how someone can think it is OK to talk with 12-13 y/o's that way. There was definitely a remedy that could have made it work. I apologized till I was red in the face, but I guess he couldn't help but make comments to make us know that we were expendable. We will be fine. Just chalk it up to experience.

Wow. Even with air conditioning, it appears that this guy is delusional. Anyone who behaves as you describe and not only isn't contrite but talks about punishing your kid is someone you need to put in the rear-view mirror. Not sure what basis for friendship exists there, but you may be more forgiving than I am. In this team's case, you're ahead of the curve...it won't last if the coach continues on that course.
 
Jun 23, 2018
222
63
Texas
Wow. Even with air conditioning, it appears that this guy is delusional. Anyone who behaves as you describe and not only isn't contrite but talks about punishing your kid is someone you need to put in the rear-view mirror. Not sure what basis for friendship exists there, but you may be more forgiving than I am. In this team's case, you're ahead of the curve...it won't last if the coach continues on that course.
It's a small softball world after all. Not going to go have a drink with the guy and sing karaoke, but the org is very good, is close, and gets kids recruited to D1's/P5's. Even though she is only 13, that is her ultimate goal and I will do what I have to, to support her. I don't want to burn the bridge today that could cause her not the have an opportunity in 2 or 3 years. I have a feeling he burned it, but I won't.

I believe that the team will become irrelevant after August and probably not maintain the orgs standards and vaporize. The reality is he needs help and probably medication. I just wish the org wasn't so small and there was another option. The org is top heavy with Premier teams and not so many developmental teams. Maybe they will add a new team in August and we can use these uniforms again.
 
Last edited:

radness

Possibilities & Opportunities!
Dec 13, 2019
7,270
113
As long as people themselves have no/low standards...
Dont blame the other person.

In other words...
Lousy can coach because lousy is happy to show up.
Perhaps its an extension of whats happening all around
That said
Softball is a choice.
 
Jun 23, 2018
222
63
Texas
Update: Little over 24 hrs after leaving the team, DD went to a camp last Thursday for a smaller org here that brings in college coaches every week during the summer. While there made a contact with another '08 coach. After the camp and watching DD, he invited us to come practice with his team tonight (assuming the rain holds off). Will see how that goes.

We picked up with a little team not in our area this past weekend and DD had a blast. She pitched 3 of the 5 games and put in some really good work.

The phone calls have been interesting. Teammates and parents who want to know where we go cause they want out too. Getting calls and texts from friends and coaches asking what happened. The standard reply the whole family agreed to is, "we decided to get a jump on pursuing new options for the fall." Not going to run down anyone. It is way to small of a softball community out there.

Our goal over the next month is to practice and pickup whenever possible. Contact coaches on teams we are interested in. Get better and then hit every tryout we can find and see what happens come August.
 

sluggers

Super Moderator
Staff member
May 26, 2008
7,132
113
Dallas, Texas
This a 12U-B team? Holy ****.

During the last game, HC starts yelling at the dugout that the next player who pulls her head on a swing
The HC doesn't know enough about batting to fill a thimble.

he started yelling at the umps about how horrible they were,

Berating a guy/gal making less than $15.00 an hour? Sounds like he would berate the server at McDonald's if he doesn't get two packets of ketchup.

then he told the team to not pick up a single piece of trash in the dugout since this tournament was so bad.

A kid with bad manners is a disgrace to his/her parents. A team with bad manners is a disgrace to the coach and the community.

Honestly, that would have been it for me. Teaching kids not to pickup after themselves?

"basically we suck and don't deserve to practice next week so no practices."

The coach went from "clueless" to "world class stupid".

Good coaches take notes during the game, and then work on problems at practice.

I'm a bad parent because I didn't observe the 24hr policy, he's right but then he berated me for ever questioning his coaching.

You are not a bad a parent...but, you aren't very smart. You are wasting your time and energy on this 5-star loser.

Spend your time and energy finding a new team for your DD, rather than listening to this pea-brain.
 
Jul 29, 2013
6,782
113
North Carolina
Th
This a 12U-B team? Holy ****.


The HC doesn't know enough about batting to fill a thimble.



Berating a guy/gal making less than $15.00 an hour? Sounds like he would berate the server at McDonald's if he doesn't get two packets of ketchup.



A kid with bad manners is a disgrace to his/her parents. A team with bad manners is a disgrace to the coach and the community.

Honestly, that would have been it for me. Teaching kids not to pickup after themselves?



The coach went from "clueless" to "world class stupid".

Good coaches take notes during the game, and then work on problems at practice.



You are not a bad a parent...but, you aren't very smart. You are wasting your time and energy on this 5-star loser.

Spend your time and energy finding a new team for your DD, rather than listening to this pea-brain.
This pretty much sums it up!
 

PDM

Jun 18, 2019
165
43
NJ
OK, I try really hard not to be that parent. I let the coach coach and support my DD as much as I can. We have never had a problem with a coach like this in the past and I need someone to pull me back if I'm out of line.

Here's the situation. We went out of town to play some different teams this past weekend. We are classified as a B-Class team (USSSA) and played a B-Class tournament. Ended up finishing 4th out of 17 and only 2 bracket loses were to the the teams that finished 1st (6-5 loss) and 2nd (3-2 loss in ITB).

During the last game, HC starts yelling at the dugout that the next player who pulls her head on a swing will earn the team a sprints every time they do it and then looked straight at my DD and said if you have another half swing the team gets one too. (her pervious at bat, with 2 strikes, she got fooled on a CU that was a strike and was able to recover enough to punch it foul in the most ugly way possible).

Immediately after game ended, he started yelling at the umps about how horrible they were, then he told the team to not pick up a single piece of trash in the dugout since this tournament was so bad.

Then the player meeting. He pulled the team WAY away from the parents, but we could still hear his raised voice from 150 feet away. I just left the DW to get the kid and I went to load the car cause I wasn't too happy and didn't want to be around when it ended. While loading the car, I see DD and DW walking up and I ask DD how the meeting when. She said, "basically we suck and don't deserve to practice next week so no practices."

Just then coach walks by. I'm hot I admit and ask him if he told the girls that. He said I would never tell them that. My reply was, may not be the words you used, but that what they heard. Realized this was not the place or time and walked away.

Have since had 2 phone conversations with him, he called me both times and neither went well. I'm a bad parent because I didn't observe the 24hr policy, he's right but then he berated me for ever questioning his coaching.

If I'm in the wrong, please tell me. I will go knock on his door tonight and apologize, but I just don't know. This isn't everything from the weekend, but enough to get the idea. Talked to a parent and have heard thru DW that a parent/coach are of the same thought.
No, you're not wrong. Just the fact that a coach would cancel practice because a team isn't good tells me that the coach isn't worth much. The coach's job is to teach and to correct mistakes. Further, berating you for questioning his coaching is far too arrogant. I had a parent who was brand new to the sport question how I ran practice a season ago. I've been at it successfully for several decades and had some excellent coaches myself to learn from, so I have a good idea how to do things, but I listened respectfully and then explained why I do things the way I do. We didn't completely agree, but I took his suggestions seriously and compromised a bit since it wasn't a major disagreement and it's always worth trying something different. A coach is never too old, experienced, or successful to learn or to try different things. An arrogant know it all coach is a bad coach.
 

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