Coach goes off the deep end?

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Nov 18, 2015
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I see the 24 hour rule as applying more to "why didn't my snowflake bat leadoff and play SS the entire game" type of questions. Maybe you could have phrased it differently, but why would a parent want to (or - why should a parent have to) wait 24 hours to confirm the language the coach used to berate their daughter? Or at least I'd use the opportunity to confirm the practice cancellation - "Hey coach, Sally just told me there's no practice this week - is that correct or just wishful thinking on her part? (ha ha)" - and then based on the response, you can continue conversation or talk the next day.

And if the coaches solution to not pulling their head on a swing ends up being "just keep their eye on the ball", then as others said, yeah - start looking for a new team. Disappointing to hear, though - 4th out of 17 at "B" level sounds like a real solid team of players. Depending on the organization, maybe you can start looking for a new coach vs. looking for a new team.
 
May 1, 2018
659
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Sigh..... So as a coach of second year 12u team, also in Texas, we can have a 24hr rule for parents.....but should the coaches not have a rule regarding being emotionally charged talking to their players? You're daughter fouled off a CU after being fooled.... awesome job.
There is a respect that has got to be shown to players at all times. 1. cause they are human beings and that's just right. 2. they are 12..... 12 years old. Let's not forget that. 3. Girls rarely respond to yelling.
Should you have waited 24 hrs before asking "hey did you use language, did you call out my DD specifically, did you say that they don't deserve practice?" ...No. Ask that right then. Screw 24 hr rule. If the coach is disrespectful, he doesn't get 24hr to get called out.
 

Strike2

Allergic to BS
Nov 14, 2014
2,044
113
It's hot most places this time of year, most of all in Texas. Hot, frustrated, and losing is the recipe for lots of things said (and done) but regretted later. Coach is upset, which makes players upset, which makes parents upset. Nobody's happy or perhaps even rational...IMO, THIS is what the 24 hour rule is really for.

You can always get with the coach later, when everyone is calmed down, and figure out what's going on with him. You can always pull your kid from the team. None of that needs to happen mid-Sunday afternoon when it's a 100+ degrees and everyone is pissed.

Not many of us can say we've never lost our cool or said something that we didn't regret later. Is it a habit with this guy, or is it a one-off? If it's the latter, and things are otherwise good, you can still have that chat, but you might consider giving him a bit more rope. If during the talk when everyone is cooler (physically and mentally) he still wants to be a jackass, then you have your answer.
 
May 21, 2018
567
93
Yeah, if the coach is pulling cr*p like not picking up the trash and yelling at the umpires then screw the 24 hour rule. That's ridiculous.

Edit: this wasn't directed at @Strike2. Posted at the same time and it kinda seems I was referencing his post.
 
Last edited:
Jun 23, 2018
222
63
Texas
It's hot most places this time of year, most of all in Texas. Hot, frustrated, and losing is the recipe for lots of things said (and done) but regretted later. Coach is upset, which makes players upset, which makes parents upset. Nobody's happy or perhaps even rational...IMO, THIS is what the 24 hour rule is really for.

You can always get with the coach later, when everyone is calmed down, and figure out what's going on with him. You can always pull your kid from the team. None of that needs to happen mid-Sunday afternoon when it's a 100+ degrees and everyone is pissed.

Not many of us can say we've never lost our cool or said something that we didn't regret later. Is it a habit with this guy, or is it a one-off? If it's the latter, and things are otherwise good, you can still have that chat, but you might consider giving him a bit more rope. If during the talk when everyone is cooler (physically and mentally) he still wants to be a jackass, then you have your answer.
I get that 100% which is why I am putting myself out there for you guys to critique me. We never stop learning. I'm not just looking for validation.

This is the 1st time it has been like this, but looking back there has been a slow gradual build up over the spring. We are in an org where we are a lower team at our age group and it seems that he is becoming more obsessed with wanting to be like the top teams. To the point that in one of the phone calls from him yesterday he went off on me when I pointed out that we are a B team and finished 4th in a B tournament. He said "we are not a B team and I will not accept anyone saying that we are!" Being an A team competing in the highest tournaments seem to have become an obsession.

Being an A team is my goal for the team as a parent as well, however big goals are achieved by accomplishing thousands of little goals along the way. It doesn't happen just cause you think it. It takes work.
 

Strike2

Allergic to BS
Nov 14, 2014
2,044
113
Disappointing to hear, though - 4th out of 17 at "B" level sounds like a real solid team of players. Depending on the organization, maybe you can start looking for a new coach vs. looking for a new team.

Yeah, that's often the default answer to things such as this. Easy for us to say...we're not the ones that have to find a better team and situation for our kid. Not always as easy as it looks on a message board.

I'm not saying that anyone should put up with regularly abusive behavior, but I'd suggest that an otherwise decent team doesn't always need to be abandoned because the HC had a bad moment. DD and I now laugh about a couple of "bad moments" from years past that we were able to forgive.
 

Strike2

Allergic to BS
Nov 14, 2014
2,044
113
Being an A team is my goal for the team as a parent as well, however big goals are achieved by accomplishing thousands of little goals along the way. It doesn't happen just cause you think it. It takes work.

Totally agree, and I've had similar conversations with ambitious coaches who had trouble seeing progress. Within reason, I'd much rather work with a coach's strong desire to be better than the opposite, which is apathy. At 12U, players, coaches, and parents are all still figuring stuff out.
 
Nov 18, 2015
1,585
113
Yeah, that's often the default answer to things such as this. Easy for us to say...we're not the ones that have to find a better team and situation for our kid. Not always as easy as it looks on a message board.

I'm not saying that anyone should put up with regularly abusive behavior, but I'd suggest that an otherwise decent team doesn't always need to be abandoned because the HC had a bad moment. DD and I now laugh about a couple of "bad moments" from years past that we were able to forgive.
S2 - I may not have been clear - I was suggesting that if this is an established organization, it may be easier to swap out the coach than to try to find a new team. (And no - I wouldn't recommend this if this is truly a one-off, the heat got to me, I slept on a pile of sticks last night kind of moment). If this is consistent behavior, I feel the onus is on the org to provide a proper coach, in order to avoid a mass exodus of players.
 

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