Coach goes off the deep end?

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PDM

Jun 18, 2019
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NJ
OK, I try really hard not to be that parent. I let the coach coach and support my DD as much as I can. We have never had a problem with a coach like this in the past and I need someone to pull me back if I'm out of line.

Here's the situation. We went out of town to play some different teams this past weekend. We are classified as a B-Class team (USSSA) and played a B-Class tournament. Ended up finishing 4th out of 17 and only 2 bracket loses were to the the teams that finished 1st (6-5 loss) and 2nd (3-2 loss in ITB).

During the last game, HC starts yelling at the dugout that the next player who pulls her head on a swing will earn the team a sprints every time they do it and then looked straight at my DD and said if you have another half swing the team gets one too. (her pervious at bat, with 2 strikes, she got fooled on a CU that was a strike and was able to recover enough to punch it foul in the most ugly way possible).

Immediately after game ended, he started yelling at the umps about how horrible they were, then he told the team to not pick up a single piece of trash in the dugout since this tournament was so bad.

Then the player meeting. He pulled the team WAY away from the parents, but we could still hear his raised voice from 150 feet away. I just left the DW to get the kid and I went to load the car cause I wasn't too happy and didn't want to be around when it ended. While loading the car, I see DD and DW walking up and I ask DD how the meeting when. She said, "basically we suck and don't deserve to practice next week so no practices."

Just then coach walks by. I'm hot I admit and ask him if he told the girls that. He said I would never tell them that. My reply was, may not be the words you used, but that what they heard. Realized this was not the place or time and walked away.

Have since had 2 phone conversations with him, he called me both times and neither went well. I'm a bad parent because I didn't observe the 24hr policy, he's right but then he berated me for ever questioning his coaching.

If I'm in the wrong, please tell me. I will go knock on his door tonight and apologize, but I just don't know. This isn't everything from the weekend, but enough to get the idea. Talked to a parent and have heard thru DW that a parent/coach are of the same thought.
To put it simply, you have a bad coach. Poor sportsmanship (not picking trash?!) should never be tolerated, much less initiated by a coach. Berating players and assigning punishment to a team for physical errors is ridiculous and does not make players better. Practicing and improving skills makes players better. If they aren't improving, the coaches aren't doing an effective job. Canceling practice because the team played poorly is the dumbest thing I've ever heard. And the biggest indicator that you have a bad coach is one whose ego can't accept a parent questioning coaching. A good coach doesn't always do things correctly, but he/she listens to questions, comments, criticism, and complaints, handles them in a professional manner and addresses those things. A good coach can explain everything that is done, why it is done, and discuss whether it is the right thing to do. If he/she can't defend what is done, he/she should be mature and honest enough to apologize and change the way things are done. And when coaches don't want parents to hear everything that they say to the players, it's a sure sign that they are saying something that they know is improper, or can't be defended if it is questioned.
 

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