Background checks are needed for Travelball coaches

[DefiantGray]

This just hit the news in central Fl. . Wow, my DD played against this team numerous times. Gotta have background checks.

Atl Vipers org coach. Travelball coach raped a player for years: article

Prayers for the player and family.

 

[Rambler34]

Only problem is that a background check is useless if they have no prior criminal history. Also most of the major sanctions reuire it for coaches now to register for championship play.

How many times are you completely surprised when you hear things like this because you didn't expect it? If this guy had a clean record and this brave girl had not come forward he could have kept doing it to another and then another and no background check would have stopped him. Best thing we can do is keep and eye on our DD's and make sure they know we are there for them for anything and pray people like this guy are not around them.

I can say her parents are much better people than me. There wouldn't be a mugshot and he wouldn't make it to trial if he hurt my DD.

 

[riseball]

Background checks are no substitute for proper parenting. It is up to you to look out for your own. Never let your kid near any adult when it is only the two of them. No rides home, or to the game. Be suspect of any coach that would allow themselves to be put in a situation where they are alone with a player.

 

[bmakj]

Background checks are no substitute for proper parenting. It is up to you to look out for your own. Never let your kid near any adult when it is only the two of them. No rides home, or to the game. Be suspect of any coach that would allow themselves to be put in a situation where they are alone with a player.

cannot have this as an absolute, you have to use your judgement in each individual situation. We have had DD stay with one of her previous coaches (albeit a woman, but it really doesnt change anything) a couple of tournaments due to circumstances.

but like the BSA, a "two deep rule" is a good rule of thumb to start with.

 

[marriard]

Only problem is that a background check is useless if they have no prior criminal history. Also most of the major sanctions reuire it for coaches now to register for championship play.

How many times are you completely surprised when you hear things like this because you didn't expect it? If this guy had a clean record and this brave girl had not come forward he could have kept doing it to another and then another and no background check would have stopped him. Best thing we can do is keep and eye on our DD's and make sure they know we are there for them for anything and pray people like this guy are not around them.

I hate to say I am not overly surprised by this one in the least.

@riseball has it right. Proper parenting is a big deal. Make sure the org does do what they can check (we do a deep background which costs more, we interview potential coaches, get references and then monitor all our teams - I am not sure there is more we could legitimately do). If you get a bad feeling, listen to it. Make sure the AC are held to the same standard. Having the discussion with your kid on this and other incidents to make sure they know this is not normal or OK. Don't let your kid play with shady people because they 'know softball'.

The stories about some major org presidents/head coaches are WELL known locally - but parents let their kids play on their teams. It is #*@!#!(ed up. I wish it was just here, but when I travel to other areas of the country, the only thing that changes are the names of those involved.

Had one parent ask about one of these guys this season for their 14U DD - I walked them through the news articles, the story, had people verify it... and they still let their kid join the team. I mean WTF? The self delusion and justifications on why were unbelievable.

 

[CMMom1740]

Why was the coach giving the girl driving lessons? I'm just kind of baffled by that. I agree with the reasoning of "no girl alone with a coach for any reason," both for the protection of the girl AND of the coach.

 

[DefiantGray]

I would like to see some national orgs and state orgs take on this issue. Use the fall season to discuss between organization board members and coaches. Maybe even have an advocate attend a practice or game and just chat with the players away from the coaches for just 15mins.

 

[justanotherguy]

It's obviously been covered, but a background check wouldn't have done a thing for this. I've said this before on here somewhere else, but you've got to BE SUPER OPEN WITH YOUR KIDS!!!! You can't dance around subjects like sex and abuse. I had lots of super involved conversations with my DD and they included every single excuse a boy would use to get into her pants. Not only "boys" but tactics men would use to groom a child, how rape would occur from the mental to the physical. She's been involved in self defense courses but I made sure we went through more detail on how to defend herself. I held her with the strength of a man, made her calm down and go through all the things she needed to do. I've done just about all I can do to make sure she knows what to do from speaking up to defending herself. People are too afraid to make themselves, and their kids, be uncomfortable with discussions about sex and what's appropriate vs not. You've got to be OPEN with your kids, including mistakes you've made so that they know you're human too. If you won't talk to them about the smaller stuff, they won't talk to you about the bigger stuff!

As far as being a coach, my DD and I coached a 12u LL baseball team this past season. I made it known to the parents that I would not pick up or take any kids home if my DD was not with me. I would never be alone with their kids. That should be a staple!

 

[CMMom1740]

It's obviously been covered, but a background check wouldn't have done a thing for this. I've said this before on here somewhere else, but you've got to BE SUPER OPEN WITH YOUR KIDS!!!! You can't dance around subjects like sex and abuse. I had lots of super involved conversations with my DD and they included every single excuse a boy would use to get into her pants. Not only "boys" but tactics men would use to groom a child, how rape would occur from the mental to the physical. She's been involved in self defense courses but I made sure we went through more detail on how to defend herself. I held her with the strength of a man, made her calm down and go through all the things she needed to do. I've done just about all I can do to make sure she knows what to do from speaking up to defending herself. People are too afraid to make themselves, and their kids, be uncomfortable with discussions about sex and what's appropriate vs not. You've got to be OPEN with your kids, including mistakes you've made so that they know you're human too. If you won't talk to them about the smaller stuff, they won't talk to you about the bigger stuff!

As far as being a coach, my DD and I coached a 12u LL baseball team this past season. I made it known to the parents that I would not pick up or take any kids home if my DD was not with me. I would never be alone with their kids. That should be a staple!

And I would include in that conversation that anyone who tells you they will kill your family if you tell is LYING. That means he's a coward and he is terrified of what your father will do to him if he finds out.

 

[GoGamecocks]

And I would include in that conversation that anyone who tells you they will kill your family if you tell is LYING. That means he's a coward and he is terrified of what your father will do to him if he finds out.

100% right. If this happened to our family, I'd be the one who would be in jail. The coach would have a tag around his big toe.