At what point do you, or you DD decide that she's not going to make it as a pitcher?

[prsboogie]

My DD pitching coach told us qualities he looks for is a kid who can think on her feet and wants to have fun and learn. She is 12 now and has only pitched for 1.5 years. She has been asked by several different people where she plays and she will tell them where ever you need me, and I can pitch too. Its not that she doesn't think of herself as a pitcher but as a softball player who pitches. I am very happy with her demeanor and drive. We'll see how the rest goes.

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[jacman]

I'm late to the party on this line, but highlight and praise the work more than the results. And while it still has to be effective work, make it fun for the two of you together. Find her a good pitching coach, too. Learn with her. Your patience will help her be patient. It takes years to become a good pitcher, and they never stop working to improve.

My DD was nearly 11 when she started pitching in a rec league. Found a travel team soon after, and she didn't pitch there till she was almost 12. She didn't really become a reliable pitcher till 14, and not a good pitcher till 15.

She could have stopped pitching whenever she wanted. She almost did at first, telling me it was too much pressure to be in the circle with everyone watching her. I told her she had to finish the season (about two more months) because she'd made a commitment to the team. If she still wanted to quit pitching after that, no problem. That was the last mention of quitting.

 

[uncdrew]

Around here, if you get a high school pitcher accurately throwing 40-43 she's going to win most of her games, assuming the defense is competent.

Softball sure is different in other parts of the country.

Interesting comment, and it can even be applied to teams in the same city.

My DD was #1 on our team last year. Team broke up. My DD moved to a new team as is #2. The #2 from our team last year went to a new team and is #1.

 

[uncdrew]

Sure. But she also walks people, gives up hits, loses games. She has successes, too. But she feels bad when things go wrong, and I feel bad for her. People say things to her or about her, and I feel bad about that. I don’t like it when she feels bad.

I don’t care at all how the game goes. I just care about her, and the way she feels about herself.

if it came across as I think she failed, then I mis spoke. But she feels as if she did, and that’s okay. Knocked down nine times, get up 10. It’s taught her resilience, but that’s a lesson that comes with a cost. I’m glad she’s learned it, but it’s still hard to watch sometimes.

I'm a bit tough on my DD. More than I should be, I know.

However, I never get on her at all when she gets shelled. Girls will get hits, that's how the game works. Some will fall into gaps. I commend my DD for throwing strikes, and don't view giving up hits (at this young age) as a bad thing at all.

Now walks, however...

 

[whiporee]

I'm a bit tough on my DD. More than I should be, I know.

However, I never get on her at all when she gets shelled. Girls will get hits, that's how the game works. Some will fall into gaps. I commend my DD for throwing strikes, and don't view giving up hits (at this young age) as a bad thing at all.

Now walks, however...

I never get mad at her at a game. When she was 12 I started keeping detailed stats so I could tell her the good things she did, because all she ever saw were the walks and the losses, and i still do that so she can know. Remind her of how many errors were made and that not everything is her fault.

The only critique I ever give her at a game or tourney is she needs to stop being afraid of throwing hard. But some kids can do that and others can't but i father telling a daughter it's okay to not be afraid seems universal, so i don't feel like a heel for giving it.

I don't like it when she gets hit or even shelled, but i do cringe when she walks people because it's right there for the world to see, and I know people make judgements about her based on it. But that's been her MO ever since she started. She's never been able to consistently put the ball where she wants it. Or even in the zone. She's gone from bowling and trampolining and deep in the box to mid calf low and chin high and on the far side of the river. But at this age they know not to swing at those.

So I've told her that's something she's got to find a way to fix -- that either it's a matter of practicing more or differently. I've given her drills I've found and ideas I've found, but she's 16. If she wants to pitch she's got to do it herself (and there's also the matter of time. Because she's got two club seasons left and then real life needs to take over).

Like I said before, I'm amazed at how much bravery she shows stepping out there every time. But I do wish she'd seen more success from it the last six years. A lot of self confidence comes from collecting wins (not just in softball, but in everything) and I wish this sport she loves so much had given her more of them.

 

[Bullseye]

You can decide if you dont want her to pitch. Only she can decide if she wants to.

 

[mmeece]

For those parents who have daughters who were once pitchers, and are no longer pitching for various reasons.. I have a question.

What was it that made them decide to stop pitching and go onto another position? Was it that they realized they didn't have it? Or was it because they realized they didn't like it? Do you wish you had made the decision for her sooner than later knowing what you know now?

My DD has been pitching for about 2 years now. She is finally playing at B level, and while she was doing great in C, now at the B level, her velocity is just not considered anything more than below average to average. She works hard, but she isn't very strong, and doesn't have the frame to carry much more weight on her body to generate more speed. She could still work on mechanics and such to try to generate more speed, but I'm starting to wonder if I should try to convince her to focus on hitting and being an infielder more to prepare for what I feel will be inevitable. The only thing I can say about her is, she is definitely the most accurate, and composed pitcher at this age group and level that I've seen. Yes I'm her Dad and maybe there is bias, but I know based on stats, she doesn't walk as many batters as others I've seen.

So just wondering from other parents who were in the same situation, where you had a daughter who was good at other positions, but she was also a pitcher so she shouldn't work on those other positions as much, later to realize you may have been better off putting pitching in the rear view mirror sooner.. any insight and advice would be really appreciated.

At 10 if she wants to pitch let her. Find the team where she can get innings and go for it. You simply have no idea yet how tall she will be, how strong she will get, how fast she will throw, etc. Let her develop if it's fun and keeps her engaged. DON'T let her quit because it's hard or she doesn't want to work. If she likes pitching in the games then make her work. If or when she gets to a point that all of the work is a chore and she doesn't enjoy pitching in games, then pull the plug. If she still enjoys it but she gets to 16u and it's clear that she simply won't be able to compete as a pitcher then have that talk, but until then I'd let her keep working on anything that keeps her engaged in the sport. My dd is in 18u and gave up pitching about a year ago. An injury lead to surgery and she was just never able to regain her consistency after rehab. Pitching became a chore and when she didn't look forward to pitching in games I knew she was done.

 

[uncdrew]

I never get mad at her at a game. When she was 12 I started keeping detailed stats so I could tell her the good things she did, because all she ever saw were the walks and the losses, and i still do that so she can know. Remind her of how many errors were made and that not everything is her fault.

The only critique I ever give her at a game or tourney is she needs to stop being afraid of throwing hard. But some kids can do that and others can't but i father telling a daughter it's okay to not be afraid seems universal, so i don't feel like a heel for giving it.

I don't like it when she gets hit or even shelled, but i do cringe when she walks people because it's right there for the world to see, and I know people make judgements about her based on it. But that's been her MO ever since she started. She's never been able to consistently put the ball where she wants it. Or even in the zone. She's gone from bowling and trampolining and deep in the box to mid calf low and chin high and on the far side of the river. But at this age they know not to swing at those.

So I've told her that's something she's got to find a way to fix -- that either it's a matter of practicing more or differently. I've given her drills I've found and ideas I've found, but she's 16. If she wants to pitch she's got to do it herself (and there's also the matter of time. Because she's got two club seasons left and then real life needs to take over).

Like I said before, I'm amazed at how much bravery she shows stepping out there every time. But I do wish she'd seen more success from it the last six years. A lot of self confidence comes from collecting wins (not just in softball, but in everything) and I wish this sport she loves so much had given her more of them.

I hear ya.

Especially on new teams, when my DD is off you start hearing (or imagine you're hearing) the grumblings. Most parents know pitchers are out there giving their all (and quite honestly, FU if you're bitching about the team's pitcher).

I dealt with it the other day. Almost said something but bit my lip.

Any girl that toes the rubber is brave beyond her years. I think those girls will go far in life.

 

[ez_softball]

My daughter threw from 10U all the way through 16U travel ball. At times she was the number one pitcher on her team, at other time she was barely considered a viable pitcher and was used as a position player. We focused on becoming a great all around softball player and not just a great pitcher. With that being said, she did work VERY hard trying to become a dominate pitcher. Her best years pitching were the 2 years at the 14U level. She was good enough to dominate games in local TB tourneys but was pretty average at larger regional tournaments.

The HS she was entering had older pitchers that eventually became a D1 pitcher and a high level NAIA pitcher. My daughter saw the writing on the wall and knew that she wouldn't see any significant circle time at the Varsity level until at least her Senior year. With that being the case she pretty much dropped pitching early on at 16U and focused on the other aspects of the game. She actually never threw in a HS game or in an 18U game. If you were to have her throw right this second, she would look like an average junior college pitcher. She has no regrets and is happily playing college ball as a position player.

 

[hummingbird]

Any girl that toes the rubber is brave beyond her years. I think those girls will go far in life.

Told my dd many times how amazed I am at her bravery to be a pitcher in that circle while everyone is watch you. Definitely did not get that from her dad.