A tale of two games.

[Cannonball]

I saw some horrible stuff yesterday at a tournament. First, why would you allow your dd to play for a guy who is cussing every other word? Why would you allow your dd to play for a guy who's dd cusses out your kid? Pitcher is throwing and beginning to struggle some. Coach yells out, "throw a f&^^%* strike. Then he yells out that the hitter f&^%(* can't hit anything. The coach's dd plays SS. She says to the 3B, "Get your fat a$$ in. They are bunting." These are 12U. Then, I see the parents and understand. Poor kids.

Conversely, dd's team played a team that they had not played before and not from our area. What a game. DD's team won 2-0. Great pitching on both sides. Kids diving for balls. For example dd's SS dove for a ball, stopped it. From her belly rolled to 2B who just grabbed it before the runner got there. They 3B ran into the fence to catch a ball. That is the way the game was played. Since I know the umpires so well, they came over to me after the game to talk and one said that that game was better played than the majority of HS games they umpired this past year. When the game was done, both sides stood and applauded their teams. DD said that the other coaching staff was outstanding and talking softball all game long.

If I had a choice of whether my dd played for the one coach/organization or the other two, I know what I would pick.

 

[grcsftbll]

First team sounds like a nightmare. No way. There's a team here that's been after our dd and I like the team overall but my dh heard the coach go off on the girls pretty badly once and they're off the list now. He won't even consider them. Correct the girls, be hard on them, I'm cool with that. Abusive language isn't ok. Especially not at 12U! They're still so young.

 

[canyonjoe]

We played a team this weekend which was very good and the coach knew his stuff but the way he treated the kids was just awful. He didn't curse, but he berated players over and over for mistakes. He pulled his 2nd baseman because there was a shot up the middle that tipped off the pitchers glove and she over ran it after the deflection. He called her useless when he pulled her. It's too bad because he has a good team but I wouldn't let him talk to my DD like that. We had a similar one the week before with not so good of a team who just bullied kid after kid.

Conversely we played a team that we play a lot who have great coaches who coach up the kids. He doesn't have all great players, but they play well. We just hammered ball after ball at them and they made every play that they had a chance to make. Fortunately we had just enough hits to beat them, but it's a team I know will battle us but with good kids and nice coaches.

 

[Cannonball]

BTW, in the game where the coach was cussing every other word, I did not know the plate umpire as he was very young. I did know the base umpire. I am shocked that he let it go. Not typical of him at all.

 

[Il softball fan]

BTW, in the game where the coach was cussing every other word, I did not know the plate umpire as he was very young. I did know the base umpire. I am shocked that he let it go. Not typical of him at all.

No place at all for that in youth sports. Especially the coach, but the players should be corrected too if they are yelling things like that. I only saw it once, at a league game, and the girl was not angry, just using curse words when talking, and blue came over to coach and politely said that the language was unacceptable, and that was that. Over and done with.

 

[mudrunner]

Yikes. Was this at the tournament in Trenton?

 

[Mike Alwine]

My first thought was "Where were the Umps" ? Then I saw it. There are two officials, the experienced one should have used it as a teaching moment, By first warning the coach, "anymore language like that, you are gone" Second, by tossing that sorry excuse for a coach out on their ear. IMHO, there is no place for this, at any age. But If the parents put up with it, you do not have to stand silently by. There should be a representative of some sort available for the sanctioning body. I do know, that in 4 more years, when mine is done locally, I am going to start Umping, and I WILL not tolerate that.

 

[sluggers]

But If the parents put up with it, you do not have to stand silently by.

While I understand where you are coming from, trying to eliminate all the idiots in softball is like trying to eliminate all the chiggers in Louisiana.

 

[MTR]

My first thought was "Where were the Umps" ?

This will not go over well, but I'm going to offer it anyway.

Other then when I was directed by league rules in the 60's, I've never ejected anyone for language that was not directed at an umpire or member of the opposing team. I simply do not believe in profanity.

But more importantly, this is the coach the parents have elected to manage their children. Right, wrong or indifferent, that is their choice and responsibility, not the umpires or anyone else's. If you are offended by the language, I would suggest you address that to the tournament/league director or the coaches of your team. OTOH, you could also use it as a teaching moment with your children.

 

[marriard]

But more importantly, this is the coach the parents have elected to manage their children. Right, wrong or indifferent, that is their choice and responsibility, not the umpires or anyone else's. If you are offended by the language, I would suggest you address that to the tournament/league director or the coaches of your team. OTOH, you could also use it as a teaching moment with your children.

I have to agree with this. It is really not the umpires issue to deal with unless it is directed to them or the other team.

I have come to the conclusion that in many cases the parents have become so used it they start to believe this is how it is meant to be and start making justifications for how it is. At some point it is almost like they feel they deserve to be treated that way. Guarantee you will talk to the parents on the team and they will say something along the lines of "He is a great coach." or "The girls need it" or "They know to ignore it" or so on... It becomes like an abusive relationship which can be so hard to get out of when you are living it.