14U Playing Time / Parent issues

[SBsluggermom]

My DD plays for a 14U tournament team. We have pickup games with other local area teams during the week just to get more field time for our girls. We are a small community (4A High School). Our coach is amazing and is truly dedicated to the sport and the girls coming through. Her ultimate goal is to build these girls as they come up through these programs and move into HS. Many have stated and believe that this current group of girls have the making of a State Championship Team in HS.

Our current group of 14U girls is ridiculously athletic and a talented group of players. However, since we are a small area and teams and programs are limited, we have 3 girls on the team that have never played before. The coach has worked with these girls at practices and is always encouraging with them. She has even offered to work with them individually in the off season. They get more playing time in the weeknight games, but recently have been made aware that when it comes to tournament play they may see very limited time on the field. Some parents are not happy about this. We also have a couple players that are great teammates and encourage each other, but the spots they play (not utility players) are filled by a better player. To make the adjustments that their parents are demanding would make NO sense and hurt the team on the field.

I understand the frustration of the parents. And I see both sides of this. And yes, MY DD does get playing time on the field. She is a utility player (Pitcher, 2B, 3B, CF) with a good bat. But.... with that being said, my DD also puts in a ton of time outside of practices and games and in the off season. She sees a pitching coach 2x's a week, gets help with her hitting and attends clinics when she can. She LOVES the game and we support her in any way we can. Some of these parents make rude comments out loud within ear shot about my DD getting playing time while theirs is on the bench. I know it is out of frustration from them, but what they don't realize is that I have cause for frustration also.... my DD has taken pitching lessons for the last 3 years and seen less mound time than any pitcher on the team. She is younger than our top pitcher ... and she hasn't had the chance to prove herself to the coach yet. She struggles at times with having confidence in herself on the mound, but has made leaps and bounds with it BECAUSE of her coach this year being so encouraging.

So my question is this (sorry for the long rant)...... am I the only one thinking that 14U is the level where these girls should be stepping up as a competitive team and building on the skills they have? Or is it still acceptable to allow small town "Rec Ball" type drama to determine playing time for these girls that have NEVER played before? I believe that is 8U-12U logic... But it's time to step up at this point and build a better program.

 

[CoachKevin]

This is a difficult situation, I too had a small town team but because of our location we would get the same players for every tryout. From 10U-14U we registered B, at second year 14 I tried to play at the A level (got a few kids from neighboring towns). We were below average at best. Finally I had to shut down the team and tell the girls to get on the best team they could at 16U.

So being from a small town, what do your tryouts look like? Are other kids playing elsewhere? If your DD is wanting to, and willing to push herself, you may have to find a better situation for her.

 

[softball dad 6]

All teams have a type. The important thing is the coach, players, and parents recognize what this type is and the coach communicates it to everyone. Is the goal player development for HS, winning, or something else? If you boil down a lot of the rants on this forum it comes down to parents, players, and or coaches not realizing what type of team they have or a failure to communicate.
I would never take a girl on a team unless I intended to play her at least half the time. When DD played on a 14u team no girl ever sat 2 games in a row even on Sunday. It meant that sometimes we were not playing our best nine in the championship game but I agreed with the coaches decision. Personally I thought the mistake was in keeping 2 girls on the team who had not kept up with the talent level of the other girls. Once these girls were on the team the then they deserved to get some playing time in my opinion.
You will have parents complaining about playing time always. Talent level and age does not matter. I keep the book for dd HS team and the coach likes to have someone to confide in so he talks to me from time to time. You cannot believe how many parents of girls batting under .200 think their dd should be starting/batting higher in the order. DD now plays on a showcase team that I help coach. I do the defense and I was able to rotate 13-15 girls without any complaints to the head coach because everyone got even playing time and we communicated that at the beginning. My OF got to the point they figured out the rotation on their own and adjusted if a coach was there to watch a certain girl. Made my job a lot easier. They all wanted to play all the time but understood that wasn't possible if they wanted to play on this team.
You may have to consider moving your dd to a team with a group of more like minded girls with similar talent. DD was used to leading the team in HR and BA but a new power hitter joined the team last year and it has ignited a nice friendly competition between them. Being pushed by teammates is a good thing.

 

[Rick M]

So my question is this (sorry for the long rant)...... am I the only one thinking that 14U is the level where these girls should be stepping up as a competitive team and building on the skills they have? Or is it still acceptable to allow small town "Rec Ball" type drama to determine playing time for these girls that have NEVER played before? I believe that is 8U-12U logic... But it's time to step up at this point and build a better program.

I think the simple answer is that this is 8U-12U logic, the reason being that the parents of these players (who have never played before) have not been through the crucible of 8U-12U softball. I'm assuming that your small area necessitates taking on players who have lower skill levels just to make up a full team.

Again, the simple answer is that these parents will either realize that their daughters have some catching up to do or will walk away in a snit. If they take their daughters who have never played before with them, has the team really lost anything?

If, on the other hand, they're athletic kids and they (and their parents) realize that they're in a low-pressure situation where they can develop their skills and play with a talented team through high school, then everybody wins. From your description of your daughter's pitching situation, it sounds like you get it.

 

[SBsluggermom]

This is a difficult situation, I too had a small town team but because of our location we would get the same players for every tryout. From 10U-14U we registered B, at second year 14 I tried to play at the A level (got a few kids from neighboring towns). We were below average at best. Finally I had to shut down the team and tell the girls to get on the best team they could at 16U.

So being from a small town, what do your tryouts look like? Are other kids playing elsewhere? If your DD is wanting to, and willing to push herself, you may have to find a better situation for her.

Our "tryouts" aren't really tryouts... I think that is safe to say. It is basically a "hey, signup deadline is by this date if your kid wants to play coach will let you know when practices start." It is generally the same group of girls playing every year. We are so lucky that the girls just above my DD and the girls in my DD's class are all amazing athletes and will do great things. We have been waiting for this particular group to be able to come together. And they are not letting us down. My DD is one of the youngest on the team, but she takes it seriously and has earned her time in the field IMHO. She was intimidated by the "older girls" but has fit in with them great this season.

I feel like the only programs we have in our area are all "Rec Ball" type through our local YMCA as the kids grow up. And we all know that YMCA type sports support the participation ribbon for everybody plan. As the girls get older, that just isn't the case. They need to learn how to be a competitive team and become successful and work hard for what they want.

We are 1 - 1.5 hours away from any larger areas that my DD could possibly get onto another team. My husband and I both work full time and have a younger DD that is very active as well. We have discussed making it happen, but the constant driving back and forth for practices in the middle of the week and LATE nights for her and us would eventually hurt her in the long run I'm afraid. I don't want to run her down or wear her out where she doesn't enjoy it. We are a small coastal town, so any drive for us is a long one :-( I am stongly looking into Fall Ball out in the Portland or surrounding area and trying to see if we could work that somehow.

 

[texasheat]

14u is the level when participation trophy ball should be over. Unfortunately, a lot of parents don't realize this yet. Particularly first year 14u parents. They still have the 10-12u mentality. They will figure it out eventually.

 

[SBsluggermom]

All teams have a type. The important thing is the coach, players, and parents recognize what this type is and the coach communicates it to everyone. Is the goal player development for HS, winning, or something else? If you boil down a lot of the rants on this forum it comes down to parents, players, and or coaches not realizing what type of team they have or a failure to communicate.
I would never take a girl on a team unless I intended to play her at least half the time. When DD played on a 14u team no girl ever sat 2 games in a row even on Sunday. It meant that sometimes we were not playing our best nine in the championship game but I agreed with the coaches decision. Personally I thought the mistake was in keeping 2 girls on the team who had not kept up with the talent level of the other girls. Once these girls were on the team the then they deserved to get some playing time in my opinion.
You will have parents complaining about playing time always. Talent level and age does not matter. I keep the book for dd HS team and the coach likes to have someone to confide in so he talks to me from time to time. You cannot believe how many parents of girls batting under .200 think their dd should be starting/batting higher in the order. DD now plays on a showcase team that I help coach. I do the defense and I was able to rotate 13-15 girls without any complaints to the head coach because everyone got even playing time and we communicated that at the beginning. My OF got to the point they figured out the rotation on their own and adjusted if a coach was there to watch a certain girl. Made my job a lot easier. They all wanted to play all the time but understood that wasn't possible if they wanted to play on this team.
You may have to consider moving your dd to a team with a group of more like minded girls with similar talent. DD was used to leading the team in HR and BA but a new power hitter joined the team last year and it has ignited a nice friendly competition between them. Being pushed by teammates is a good thing.

Our coach and the AC's on the team to a great job and making sure the newer less experienced girls get in when they can. But they also aren't going to let a game slip away because of the lack of experience on the field. They make adjustments. There are currently 14 girls on the roster. I'd say that 10 of the 14 belong on the roster. The others just lack experience and knowledge at this level. 2 have never played until this year. The 9 that walk out onto the field are amazing, dedicated serious players who give it all they've got every game. So, I'd say we have a great group of like minded girls right here. And they ALL have the talent to back it up. I wish I was in a bigger area where my DD had a few more options, but unfortunately we are at minimum and hour drive one way from bigger teams.

 

[Strike2]

Your team appears to be a blend between a "rec" team and a "tournament" team. I say that because a fully "tournament" team wouldn't take on players with no experience. That said, it appears that your coach is doing it right for all concerned, and the new-to-softball parents need to learn how it works.

You said that the coach has offered to work with the less experienced ones...have they taken him up on that offer? Are the parents working with their kids on their own? I'd (politely) ask the malcontents about what their kids do outside of team practice to get better.

From 14U onward, the game only gets more competitive, and it weeds people out who don't put in the work. An incompetent player anywhere on the field can lose games for the team.

 

[CoachKevin]

Our "tryouts" aren't really tryouts... I think that is safe to say. It is basically a "hey, signup deadline is by this date if your kid wants to play coach will let you know when practices start." It is generally the same group of girls playing every year. We are so lucky that the girls just above my DD and the girls in my DD's class are all amazing athletes and will do great things. We have been waiting for this particular group to be able to come together. And they are not letting us down. My DD is one of the youngest on the team, but she takes it seriously and has earned her time in the field IMHO. She was intimidated by the "older girls" but has fit in with them great this season.

I feel like the only programs we have in our area are all "Rec Ball" type through our local YMCA as the kids grow up. And we all know that YMCA type sports support the participation ribbon for everybody plan. As the girls get older, that just isn't the case. They need to learn how to be a competitive team and become successful and work hard for what they want.

We are 1 - 1.5 hours away from any larger areas that my DD could possibly get onto another team. My husband and I both work full time and have a younger DD that is very active as well. We have discussed making it happen, but the constant driving back and forth for practices in the middle of the week and LATE nights for her and us would eventually hurt her in the long run I'm afraid. I don't want to run her down or wear her out where she doesn't enjoy it. We are a small coastal town, so any drive for us is a long one :-( I am stongly looking into Fall Ball out in the Portland or surrounding area and trying to see if we could work that somehow.

Oregon? Well to be honest, you may have drive, make sacrifices, prioritize who goes to what. I've been assisting for this team for many years now and drive an hour plus to practice... and I don't even have a kid on the team anymore . When she was playing (the youngest) our oldest DD did competitive cheer, so I would go to tournaments, and if the games were done try and make the competitions (I missed many). All involved in TB have missed family vacations, or have made family vacations around TB Tournaments.

Depending on your location, Hillsboro has many teams, if your North then Portland is your best choice. I wish you luck because I know

 

[grcsftbll]

If I've learned anything in the past few years being involved in running a team (and married to a head coach the past 2), it's that some parents will never be happy no matter what you do. The sense of entitlement often comes from the least committed players' parents. You know the ones who miss half the practices and complain about everything are also the ones who complain the most and the loudest about playing time. They also usually care way more about it than their kids do, who sometimes understand the concept of TEAM better than their parents do. I hope your coach can find a good balance.