Parent Drama - need advice.

thattooty said:

Is it common in 10u for teammates to compete against each other?

Click to expand...

The biggest competition is internal competition against your teammates for playing time. It is something your DD has to get used to if she wants to play any sport.

There is a right way to compete and a wrong way to compete. The right way for the player to push herself to become better. The wrong way is for the players to start "bad mouthing" the other player and to try to split the team.

thattooty said:

Furthermore, is it common for parents to partake in the competition?

Click to expand...

Is it common? Yes.
Is it advisable? No.

thattooty said:

There is SO much tension around these parents it’s often hard to sit at practice in the same facility or field as them. It feels so toxic.

Click to expand...

Welcome to the jungle.

thattooty said:

It feels as if they’re trying to turn other parents against us for absolutely nothing.

Click to expand...

???
They have a reason...they want more time in their circle for their DD.

thattooty said:

I feel these girls are supposed to be competing as a team, not against each other.

Click to expand...

You're wrong. Competition against teammates is absolutely essential. It is part of athletic competition.

Any sport is a zero sum game...there are only so many innings/minutes/events and what one players gets another player loses.

Again, there is a right way and a wrong way to compete for playing time. You have to teach your DD the right way.

My DD pitched TB, HS, Juco, and then D1. She became the "big dog" at each level. She took someone else's spot at each level of play. The kids who lost out to her were not happy about it--some accepted it as "she's better than me" and others did the same stuff that is happening to your DD.

My DD figured out how to handle it in college: (1) Pitch well. (2) Make friends with the best players on the team, and (3) take more than her share of responsibility for a loss and less than her share of the credit for a win (i.e., "aw shucks, I didn't do nothin', it was Suzy who won it for us").

That is sports. If your DD really wants to be a pitcher, she has to get used to it. You have to learn how to emotionally support her, because it can get really nasty.

Gambler Bob said:

Lots of bad advice being given so far.

First thing you must do is sign up for Jiu Jitsu classes for the next year. After you finish a year of Jiu Jitsu classes, go and kick their azz for messing with your family. If that don' work, you need to hire an assassin to do the dirty work for you.

I am kind of being sarcastic. Sometimes people need to be told to go get F'd.

Click to expand...

That's no so bad. I was gonna tell OP to go assert his dominance by taking a dump where they sit. That'll get the mesage across.

Coaches tend to pitch pitchers who throw strikes.
To be a good team you need 3 reliable pitchers. A fourth is nice.
The best thing for pitching time is to win. In double elimination you can play a lot of games. Who really wants their kid pitching 3+ games on a weekend?
It is great when pitchers push each other. Some parents think others being bad is a way for their kid to get better.

chinamigarden said:

First of all the competition for pitching time will make better pitchers out of both of them. Secondly the other family is going about this wrong and will likely leave soon.

Click to expand...

Everyone wants to pitch until they realize what it takes. Kids don't want to put in the time over the long haul and parents don't want to keep having the stress of the kid not wanting to put in the work.

PapaBear said:

Everyone wants to pitch until they realize what it takes. Kids don't want to put in the time over the long haul and parents don't want to keep having the stress of the kid not wanting to put in the work.

Click to expand...

My daughter started lessons in Jan 2021 and I've stressed about it every second of every day since. I study mechanics. Every. Single. Day.

At times I sort-of resent the parents who don't commit more to their kid when something like pitching becomes an interest. Most of them just drop off and pick up, not really fully appreciating how much effort some of us are putting in to make sure the team has an even remotely competent pitcher.

Luckily, my kid loves to pitch and wants to help the team...and it's been a great (albeit expensive) way for us to spend time together.

PJR202 said:

My daughter started lessons in Jan 2021 and I've stressed about it every second of every day since. I study mechanics. Every. Single. Day.

At times I sort-of resent the parents who don't commit more to their kid when something like pitching becomes an interest. Most of them just drop off and pick up, not really fully appreciating how much effort some of us are putting in to make sure the team has an even remotely competent pitcher.

Luckily, my kid loves to pitch and wants to help the team...and it's been a great (albeit expensive) way for us to spend time together.

Click to expand...

Enjoy the ride. I stressed out from 9-13 and then another dad told me “she knows what she’s doing”. When she was a freshman in HS, I finally realized she knew what she was doing. A Top 10 PGF, a few state tiles later and playing in D1. She calls now to talk about her practices and bullpens and when she’s home I just play catch with her. We look at video but she knows what she’s doing. We joke about the girls that all started in the beginning but faded away over time and gravitated to other positions. Don’t stress she’ll get to the point where she knows what she’s doing. I sat for almost 10 years on a bucket and got to the point of calling strikes in a game before it was out of her hand. Get her a good coach and and sit back.

PapaBear said:

Enjoy the ride. I stressed out from 9-13 and then another dad told me “she knows what she’s doing”. When she was a freshman in HS, I finally realized she knew what she was doing. A Top 10 PGF, a few state tiles later and playing in D1. She calls now to talk about her practices and bullpens and when she’s home I just play catch with her. We look at video but she knows what she’s doing. We joke about the girls that all started in the beginning but faded away over time and gravitated to other positions. Don’t stress she’ll get to the point where she knows what she’s doing. I sat for almost 10 years on a bucket and got to the point of calling strikes in a game before it was out of her hand. Get her a good coach and and sit back.

Click to expand...

Sounds like an awesome kid. Those are serious accomplishments.

She took lessons until August when I decided for a few reasons to take over. I had studied like crazy and took some specific training and felt like it was time. One reason being that I wanted her to switch to internal rotation and work out some significant mechanical issues that were holding her back. She'll be playing HS in the spring and the way she was pitching before (45mph meatballs) was gonna get her regular line drives to the face. It's going pretty well. She's up 5-7 mph and I think her ability to hit spots will be solid soon. Her body awareness is getting better all the time. It's not uncommon for her to immediately say what she's done incorrectly.

It does stress me out, but there aren't many places I would rather be than catching pitches for her, or on the field with her and her sister. I love spending time with them, watching them get better and understanding how work and reward go hand in hand.

PJR202 said:

It does stress me out, but there aren't many places I would rather be than catching pitches for her, or on the field with her and her sister.

Click to expand...

Until those drop balls start smashing your shins and a rise ball that gets past your glove into your eye socket?

Orange Socks said:

Until those drop balls start smashing your shins and a rise ball that gets past your glove into your eye socket?

Click to expand...

Sometimes love hurts..

Orange Socks said:

Until those drop balls start smashing your shins and a rise ball that gets past your glove into your eye socket?

Click to expand...

I took one out of the dirt Monday, right to the shin. It's still a lump. I can usually stand up and raise the leg fast enough, but her speed is now getting to the point that I can't move that fast. When we're outside I still catch like a catcher. In the basement I sit on an exercise ball.

I'm gonna invent the perfect bucket dad seat, complete with protection for sensitive areas.