Parents.... Subtitle: The bad apples

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Aug 5, 2022
361
63
At 14u and above and really honestly at all ages they need to like each other on the field and communicate. Being friends off the field really is no big deal. Especially if the girls are from different schools etc they have friends and might not be looking for anything out of softball other than softball. As for budget everyone’s is different and I’m not going to fault families for setting limits. I charge all my softball stuff to a Cc for points and in nearly vomited when I added up the bills from the summer with 2 kids in national level travel


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Oct 4, 2018
4,611
113
Most parents blindly book when they get the link, so it's not really about being in the 25%. It's really that most people book through stay-to-play when it is an option rather than exploring less expensive alternatives. I usually get at least one night free per weekend with all the points I have accumulated over the years.

Now, if the whole team didn't book, then the tournament director might catch on. I am normally only one of the only families to book hotels on their own.

Thanks. Just trying to understand how it works. We have a lot of RV families so I feel like I'm almost (more) forced to stay where they tell me to.
 
Nov 26, 2010
4,784
113
Michigan
Long story, I'll try to keep it short. We left a team last year because the quality of the instruction was sub-par and our DD was growing and moving past the "rec ball" type coaching and expectations. ( There are a million other reasons we left but I'm keeping this short) In the end our DD found a great new team and a great coach and was asked to be part of the team after tryouts. A few girls from my DD's previous team also made this new team and they are quality players and work hard. A few other players from the coach's previous team that had disbanded also came and then a few girls came from a variety of other teams also made the new team. It breaks down to almost an equal 30% Players from coaches old team, 30% Players from DD's old team, and 30% new players.

Part of the reason our DD decided to leave the previous team is because she's taking Softball seriously and has told us she would like pursue it in college. She has been working hard to get to that point. The new team she is on is a national organization that we hope could help her achieve that goal. So far the team and coaching has exceeded our expectations.

With that said, my wife and I have done everything we can to be a booster to the team. I run GC, one of the other parents works on the social media stuff, my wife has volunteered to do the book. We have tried to be vocal supporters of the team internally and externally. What we are starting to run into are a couple of miserable parents from the coach's previous team. We are hearing some rumors they are starting that are completely untrue and divisive, they make every effort to avoid the parents, their kids are the first to walk off the field after practice and games and they leave before the team meeting, etc... etc... etc.. These bad apples also pooh pooh any team building attempts off the field whether it's staying in the same hotel or group team activities.

The reason I'm writing all this is to see if there is any advice on how to deal with the few bad apple parents? I can see these 1 or 2 people spoiling it for the rest of us if this isn't nipped in the bud. Any thoughts or experiences would be greatly appreciated.
Spoiling what exactly? Not all families see sports as the conduit to their social lives. Are the players up to date on any fees owned? Do they make it to games and practices? Do the coaches have any issues with them leaving right away? Where did you hear they are starting rumors? This all sounds like team drama that is parental from more then 1 side.

You don’t have to be friends with all the other parents and they all don’t have to be friends with you. Not every parent will be as involved as others. This will always be the case on every team. So my advice to you. “Ignore them”
 

sluggers

Super Moderator
Staff member
May 26, 2008
7,133
113
Dallas, Texas
A little tough love:

If your DD wants to play college softball, drop the notion that the players and parents have to like each other. It doesn't matter a bit. Do the *PLAYERS* act professionally on and off the field?

they make every effort to avoid the parents,
Maybe they don't like you? Honestly, so what? I had 2 DDs play college sports. Some parents I liked. Some didn't. I'm sure some didn't like me. Parents don't matter.
their kids are the first to walk off the field after practice and games
Before or after the practice and game is over?

The question is not when they leave the field. The question is this: Do they act responsibly after the event is over.

E.g., do they pick up the equipment? Do they help pick up the trash in the dugout? (FYI...I don't carry equipment. That is the players responsibility.)

and they leave before the team meeting, etc... etc... etc..
That is not acceptable.

These bad apples also pooh pooh any team building attempts off the field whether it's staying in the same hotel or group team activities.

This is nothing. Again, the question is whether the players act politely and professionally during team events.
 
May 10, 2019
83
18
14U and I understand your point about team bonding being less of an issue as they get older. I'm not looking for them go to face painting or to Lego Land but really to just get to know each other off the field. As a new team there are these different groups of girls who right now aren't communicating well. Again, maybe I just need to have patience.....

I completely understand your point about leaving a team early, it was not a decision we made lightly or quickly but in the end it was the right decision.
I meant leaving early from practice or before they have been dismissed by coach.
Bonding is important for sure. Usually pool time at the hotel works for most kids. Hope it works out.
 
Nov 20, 2020
995
93
SW Missouri
If your DD wants to play college softball, drop the notion that the players and parents have to like each other. It doesn't matter a bit. Do the *PLAYERS* act professionally on and off the field?

Sluggers - I agree with this. Just curious, for your DD's....at what age did you see this become more of a thing versus everyone wanting to "bond" or get along? As in, when did you see it change from social to business as it were? Or was college the eye opener to that?
 
Jun 8, 2016
16,118
113
Sluggers - I agree with this. Just curious, for your DD's....at what age did you see this become more of a thing versus everyone wanting to "bond" or get along? As in, when did you see it change from social to business as it were? Or was college the eye opener to that?
DD was 5 when it happened for me....
 
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