Last High School Game for a 2022; Need to Vent

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Oct 5, 2017
214
43
Western Indiana
I think you keep and play your seniors. I thought that when she was a freshman, and I think it now. They’re the leaders of your team and possibly your school. You demonstrate that playing time is a reward not only for talent but for contributions. And if freshmen outplay seniors who have been with your program for years, that’s on the coach.

You tell freshmen that unless they’re needed for numbers, they sit behind upperclassmen. But girls ought to know that if they stick with it, there will be a payoff. That their contributions are and will be valued.

There are plenty of opportunities in this sport for coaches and parents who only want to win. High school shouldn’t be one of them.


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I am sorry, but I could not disagree with this more. Even in high school at the varsity level you play the best players.

I coach at a small school and have had a freshman start more years than not. These players are usually 4 year starters. There is currently a player in our program that will be a senior this coming season that has not started single varsity game in the last three years. She will not be cut or asked to leave or forced out. She will be a part of the team. I was also very honest with her at the end of last season that we wanted her to be apart of the team but I would not guarantee her any playing time. She told me, "that's all I want to be a part of the team because we will win."

I then told her that I will make one promise. She will start on senior night and it does not mater who we are playing or when. That is when I got the smile that all coaches enjoy. There are other seniors that I told (again, at the end of last season) that they would be competing for a starting position. I really feel they all knew it but I made sure.
I would never cut a player that has given our program three years but they are never given a starting spot just because they are seniors.
 
Aug 27, 2019
640
93
Lakewood CA.
I am sorry, but I could not disagree with this more. Even in high school at the varsity level you play the best players.

I coach at a small school and have had a freshman start more years than not. These players are usually 4 year starters. There is currently a player in our program that will be a senior this coming season that has not started single varsity game in the last three years. She will not be cut or asked to leave or forced out. She will be a part of the team. I was also very honest with her at the end of last season that we wanted her to be apart of the team but I would not guarantee her any playing time. She told me, "that's all I want to be a part of the team because we will win."

I then told her that I will make one promise. She will start on senior night and it does not mater who we are playing or when. That is when I got the smile that all coaches enjoy. There are other seniors that I told (again, at the end of last season) that they would be competing for a starting position. I really feel they all knew it but I made sure.
I would never cut a player that has given our program three years but they are never given a starting spot just because they are seniors.

You know when you see adds for TB tryouts and they almost always say “All positions/Playing time is earned”? Well that is never more true then it is in HS (and college).

TB is a situation where parents are spending a ton of money so a certain amount of playing time is expected/assumed. This is not the case in HS.


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Jan 31, 2011
453
43
I am sorry, but I could not disagree with this more. Even in high school at the varsity level you play the best players.

I coach at a small school and have had a freshman start more years than not. These players are usually 4 year starters. There is currently a player in our program that will be a senior this coming season that has not started single varsity game in the last three years. She will not be cut or asked to leave or forced out. She will be a part of the team. I was also very honest with her at the end of last season that we wanted her to be apart of the team but I would not guarantee her any playing time. She told me, "that's all I want to be a part of the team because we will win."

I then told her that I will make one promise. She will start on senior night and it does not mater who we are playing or when. That is when I got the smile that all coaches enjoy. There are other seniors that I told (again, at the end of last season) that they would be competing for a starting position. I really feel they all knew it but I made sure.
I would never cut a player that has given our program three years but they are never given a starting spot just because they are seniors.
I agree with what you said & are doing. That was a great way to handle your senior. How about this...In Iowa 8th graders are eligible to play HS softball because our season is in the summer. Its very common for one of these kids to be a varsity starter. I still agree - play your best 9 kids regardless of age. Period.
 
Jun 27, 2021
418
63
I think you keep and play your seniors. I thought that when she was a freshman, and I think it now. They’re the leaders of your team and possibly your school. You demonstrate that playing time is a reward not only for talent but for contributions. And if freshmen outplay seniors who have been with your program for years, that’s on the coach.

You tell freshmen that unless they’re needed for numbers, they sit behind upperclassmen. But girls ought to know that if they stick with it, there will be a payoff. That their contributions are and will be valued.

There are plenty of opportunities in this sport for coaches and parents who only want to win. High school shouldn’t be one of them.


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I don't subscribe to that. That is an old school logic in todays world. As a coach your job is to make the lineup out as the player your job is to make sure you're in it. Today's freshman who play at a competitive level and travel the country playing ball is not going to play behind the upperclassman who waited their turn but didn't earn or do the work but waited. You play the best 9 and if they are leaders they understand that concept. I told mine when she was a Freshman the expectation is you'll be the #4 in the circle to start preseason (1 SR, 1 JR, 1 SO). Midway through the season she became the clear #2 but also pitched as a #1B with the SR.

It's not fair to the other players if the lineup is not the best lineup.
 
Feb 24, 2021
12
3
Twin Cities
Almost impossible to break this down with one side of the story.....but here we go:

Questioning moves while hanging out at a game? Sure. Having a gaggle of dads that all text each other about coaching mistakes? Juvenile and pathetic.

You mentioned several times that the catcher is better than the 3rd baseman, but not once did you say that your daughter was the better catcher. I get the circular thinking, but sometimes parents see moves to be made and surprise(!), they almost always involve getting their kid into the game.

You mentioned one hit to the fence that because of the lack of details, I'll assume was a single. I would also guess with near 100% certainty, she didn't get a hit in the handful of other ABs in the two games.

So again, from an outsider with limited details, we have a kid who plays 1/4 of the time and is roughly 1-5 on the day, getting pinch hit for when the game is on the line.

I'm not trying to come off harsh and as a dad who's not a fan of their own daughter's HS coach, I get it. But nothing evidenced here screams "Screwing this senior". In fact, I would be more irritated if the coach did something they thought gave them less of a chance to win simply because it was a senior's last game.
 
Apr 3, 2021
3
3
I am going to bite my tongue and just say I feel your pain. But worse. School ball is not what it used to be.
 
Apr 3, 2021
3
3
I don’t understand how writing a letter or dwelling on the disappointment will help your daughter or you. It will just come off as sour grapes.
But sometimes people need a anonymous place to vent. And until they see other comments and other's views and ways of thinking, they will not understand completely. I have another dad or two that we vent to each other and it never goes out of our circle. But we see each other's ways and it seems to ease the pain or as a quote from a movie, "Ease His Pain."
 

radness

Possibilities & Opportunities!
Dec 13, 2019
7,270
113
But sometimes people need a anonymous place to vent. And until they see other comments and other's views and ways of thinking, they will not understand completely. I have another dad or two that we vent to each other and it never goes out of our circle. But we see each other's ways and it seems to ease the pain or as a quote from a movie, "Ease His Pain."
Good point

Venting seems can go either way.
Venting to find others in agreement sometimes finds opposition that throws logs on the fire.

For those that can have open minded perspective interaction can help mitigate through.

While some venting is just cheesy slander.
The OP post has a genuine tone imo.
 
Aug 19, 2015
1,118
113
Atlanta, GA
Almost impossible to break this down with one side of the story.....but here we go:

Questioning moves while hanging out at a game? Sure. Having a gaggle of dads that all text each other about coaching mistakes? Juvenile and pathetic.

You mentioned several times that the catcher is better than the 3rd baseman, but not once did you say that your daughter was the better catcher. I get the circular thinking, but sometimes parents see moves to be made and surprise(!), they almost always involve getting their kid into the game.

You mentioned one hit to the fence that because of the lack of details, I'll assume was a single. I would also guess with near 100% certainty, she didn't get a hit in the handful of other ABs in the two games.

So again, from an outsider with limited details, we have a kid who plays 1/4 of the time and is roughly 1-5 on the day, getting pinch hit for when the game is on the line.

I'm not trying to come off harsh and as a dad who's not a fan of their own daughter's HS coach, I get it. But nothing evidenced here screams "Screwing this senior". In fact, I would be more irritated if the coach did something they thought gave them less of a chance to win simply because it was a senior's last game.

I think that the freshman who wound up doing the majority of the catching this year has superior arm strength to my DD, although she never caught anyone stealing until that very last night of the season. However, my DD is better at other important things like blocking/framing and overall softball IQ (e.g., directing the game, not doing bone-headed things like throwing to first when there's a force at home). I'm not so blinded by rose-colored glasses that I can't see DD's weaknesses. But I do firmly believe that the infield would have been stronger with the other girl at third and DD at C.
 

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