Help with lazy habits!

[Softball_mom_12]

Maybe hinge some of her privileges with it on her performance in important stuff(school, chores, softball etc). Or just take it away haha.

I do not believe that her phone is a part of the problem. She has no social media. Her phone is used for communication and she has a few games on it. If her phone were taken, it wouldn’t be a big deal to her because she isn’t obsessed with it.

 

[cnardone]

We have blocked our DD from having any Social media accounts for now. She wasn't too pleased about that at first but she has gotten over it. She texts/facetimes with her friends now and has some games she can play along with sports apps. My wife was against the whole phone thing at first but when I asked her how much time on the phone talking to her friends she spent at that age I "won"..

Yes it is a dance for sure. Social Media is how they communicate now. It can be isolating. Which of course is the last thing we want for our children. We are trying on Phone "time" now, but the phone sits with their mother so if something comes through like coordinating a get together, the child can check a message, respond and then put the phone down. No walking away and suddenly be face in phone again. Uhhggg.

 

[Softball_mom_12]

All of my daughters best friends play on her team. She has good relationships with them. So she definitely has friends and things to do.

Its not an issue of her doing the things she should be doing. She does everything asked. The problem is she doesn’t give it her all. She doesn’t want to do any extra work. Example: She really needs to work on her hitting. She’s been in a slump lately. Usually she is a power hitter. She goes to hitting lessons. If I ask her after practice if she wants to stay late and hit a few balls she will say no she’s ready to go. If I ask her on a Saturday to go to the fields and practice she will agree to it but won’t give it her all while out there. She doesn’t seem as thrilled to go as she use to. When she started ball, it’s all she wanted to do. She always wanted to put in extra work. I think it’s just more frustrating to me because I know what she can do because I’ve watched her do it. I just need to push her to be the best that she can be without her getting upset with me.

 

[Towny9]

Something I do with my DD that may work for you. I don’t ask my DD if she wants to go hit or play catch. That’s up to her. What I do tel her is this. No matter what I am doing, if you do ask, I will never say no. Works for us. Ultimately it’s her sport. She may just have different goals than yours.

Now if she complains about not being as good as she wants or struggling at games, or if her attitude suffers, then feel free to point out its because of her lack of effort/extra work.

 

[radness]

All of my daughters best friends play on her team. She has good relationships with them. So she definitely has friends and things to do.

Its not an issue of her doing the things she should be doing. She does everything asked. The problem is she doesn’t give it her all. She doesn’t want to do any extra work. Example: She really needs to work on her hitting. She’s been in a slump lately. Usually she is a power hitter. She goes to hitting lessons. If I ask her after practice if she wants to stay late and hit a few balls she will say no she’s ready to go. If I ask her on a Saturday to go to the fields and practice she will agree to it but won’t give it her all while out there. She doesn’t seem as thrilled to go as she use to. When she started ball, it’s all she wanted to do. She always wanted to put in extra work. I think it’s just more frustrating to me because I know what she can do because I’ve watched her do it. I just need to push her to be the best that she can be without her getting upset with me.

Have to say it's nice you're paying attention!

Is it the added physical exertion that she doesn't like?

Sometimes this scenario turns out to be just learning the young person.
Some people just aren't into physical exercise.

She goes to hitting lessons does she have to do hitting on her own at home how much and how often? Has she gone astray from that?

 

[quincy]

For my DD, everyone's is different, I found it better to bring 1 or 2 players along to practice hitting. 2 others is the most I have ever asked. Went smother and better.

Plus I did not have to run around chasing balls as much. It is all about me.

 

[radness]

For my DD, everyone's is different, I found it better to bring 1 or 2 players along to practice hitting. 2 others is the most I have ever asked. Went smother and better.

Plus I did not have to run around chasing balls as much. It is all about me.

Like that suggestion fun with friends and getting something done!

That also brings up an interesting relationship between playing sports and the social aspect.
figuring out how both of those apply in the same situation.
Being social may not take as much effort...
As softball does!

 

[sluggers]

The key to getting a young kid to practice is to make it fun and keep it moving. (I love watching a good coach work.)

Watch some of Sue Trubovitz (AKA @RADcatcher) videos. Sue's technique as a teacher and coach are top shelf. While the drills she uses are great, focus on *HOW* she works with these kids. She is a master at coaching.

Her timing and pace are superb...bang-bang-bang...next drill...bang-bang-bang...next drill. Even though the kid has done the same drills over and over and over for years, Sue makes it fun.

Sue is engaged and focused on the kid. She isn't looking at her phone and thinking about what's for supper. She is in the moment and present.

 

[Softball_mom_12]

Something I do with my DD that may work for you. I don’t ask my DD if she wants to go hit or play catch. That’s up to her. What I do tel her is this. No matter what I am doing, if you do ask, I will never say no. Works for us. Ultimately it’s her sport. She may just have different goals than yours.

Now if she complains about not being as good as she wants or struggling at games, or if her attitude suffers, then feel free to point out its because of her lack of effort/extra work.

I like this idea. It holds her accountable. I just know, based off of the way she has been lately, that she’s not going to ask to do anything. She’s not going to make the effort herself without me pushing her. I think I will try this though. Then maybe she will realize that she has to push herself but I will still be there to support and help her.

 

[Softball_mom_12]

Have to say it's nice you're paying attention!

Is it the added physical exertion that she doesn't like?

Sometimes this scenario turns out to be just learning the young person.
Some people just aren't into physical exercise.

She goes to hitting lessons does she have to do hitting on her own at home how much and how often? Has she gone astray from that?

She has never had an issue with physical exercise. She has pretty much always been the type to be outside riding her four wheeler, bikes, and playing with friends. As well as sports. Just recently has she started choosing to stay inside over doing other things.

She goes to her hitting lessons but does not do any extra hitting at home. Practice 3 days a week. Hitting lessons 1-2 days a week. She doesn’t want to do the extra work at home.