18u talking to coach

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Jun 27, 2018
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Do you all think it’s ok if an 18u player has a talk with the coach and ask her to maybe be a little more positive and have some faith? The negative is wearing her down mentally and she’s questioning if she should say something now or ride it out and finish the season, and say nothing. Not sure about this because I can see it going bad or good. She’s open to criticism, and really wants to please the coaches but she wants to say “maybe throw a little positive in there sometimes” because she feels like coach doesn’t value her. Or does she just say nothing and build her mental toughness. She feels her teammates value her though. Her and another girl are new to the team and they seem to be the ones coach is focusing some negativity on. Maybe she’s trying to break them in on her style.


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May 6, 2015
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I hear you, we are weighing on whether to approach DDs coach, not just about DD, but about all the girls. he is pretty tough on all of them (but certainly not abusive), and for some, if not all, some carrot now and then might work better than the stick.
 
Mar 28, 2014
1,081
113
Do you all think it’s ok if an 18u player has a talk with the coach and ask her to maybe be a little more positive and have some faith? The negative is wearing her down mentally and she’s questioning if she should say something now or ride it out and finish the season, and say nothing. Not sure about this because I can see it going bad or good. She’s open to criticism, and really wants to please the coaches but she wants to say “maybe throw a little positive in there sometimes” because she feels like coach doesn’t value her. Or does she just say nothing and build her mental toughness. She feels her teammates value her though. Her and another girl are new to the team and they seem to be the ones coach is focusing some negativity on. Maybe she’s trying to break them in on her style.


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Yes it is more than OK for a player to talk to a coach about something that is bothering her. Communication between coach and player is very important. Your DD needs to learn how to approach adults and have adult conversations with them. What better way to do that than with her coach. What's the worst that could happen?
 
Jun 27, 2018
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I guess the worst that could happen is the coach could get offended or upset and then the rest of the season could be very uncomfortable.


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Jan 5, 2018
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PNW
I guess the worst that could happen is the coach could get offended or upset and then the rest of the season could be very uncomfortable.


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Yes a 18U player should talk to coach....

BUT the player has to be prepared for what the coach has to say. It may be wrong or right...or it may be the coaches perspective and opinion. BUT if you're going to ask the questions or have a conversation...you have to be prepared for the response may NOT be what you were wanting or looking for. This is part of the maturation process for the player...respective of who or what the coach is.
 

Cannonball

Ex "Expert"
Feb 25, 2009
4,854
113
If done in a respectful manner, every coach should welcome an opportunity to talk to their players about concerns. It might be that this coach doesn't realize how negative they are. It might be that there could be some sarcasm in what the coach is saying. When I was first starting to coach, my mentor told me that sarcasm on the field never works out well. There comes a point where it becomes ingrained and players don't know how to take it. Your dd will have to "read the coach" for a good time or ask the coach if there is a good time. Then, she needs to be prepared with an example or two where the negativity wasn't warranted or where she was doing her best.
 
Jun 27, 2018
291
28
If done in a respectful manner, every coach should welcome an opportunity to talk to their players about concerns. It might be that this coach doesn't realize how negative they are. It might be that there could be some sarcasm in what the coach is saying. When I was first starting to coach, my mentor told me that sarcasm on the field never works out well. There comes a point where it becomes ingrained and players don't know how to take it. Your dd will have to "read the coach" for a good time or ask the coach if there is a good time. Then, she needs to be prepared with an example or two where the negativity wasn't warranted or where she was doing her best.

Absolutely in a respectful manner. I think DD is going to let it go for now, but she definitely thinks about how to come across respectfully.


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