Preparing the girls to play a team with jerk parents

[Lightning]

DD (10U all-star) was in a tournament final against a team that was forced to forfeit because they were caught with a player in their lineup who was not on their roster. (Tournament rules said that rosters were frozen at check-in and they added this player for the championship game.)

The families of the other team took the forfeit very badly and started yelling at the girls on the field that they were a bunch of [obscene word for cowards] and [other obscene word for cowards] and cheaters and that “next time we play you we’re going to kick your [butts].” When DD’s coaches hurried the girls off the field, the parents continued to yell.

They kept yelling at the girls as they were leaving the park, with a few trying to push past a barrier formed by tournament volunteers that was meant to keep those parents away from DD’s team. The opponents’ coaches did absolutely nothing to try to control their crowd. The girls were terrified and some thought the other parents were going to attack them.

Unfortunately, the all-star circuit is pretty small and we will have to deal with this team again. The girls are scared; several of them say that they don’t want to play this team because they’re scared of the parents. I am fairly sure these parents won’t actually physically harm the girls but they sure have no problem scaring them.

How can we make the girls understand they’re safe and that they only need to worry about what happens on the field while the parents (or tournament officials or police, if need be) will take care of what happens in the stands?

 

[djcarter1966]

Depends on what the exact circumstances were. If this is a win or go home situation fine stick to your guns and send the other team packing. If this is a top four keep going or if "all stars" is just a division and you keep playing, I tell the other team I'll be happy to stay and play you I'll even pay the umps out of my pocket if the tournament won't pay them and if the tournament gave us plastics trophies I tell them you win you can have them. The way you show you aren't scared is to play them IMO; again with the caveat this is not and end of your all star season type situation, i'm not having my season cut short because of "cheaters" but I'm not backing away from a game because of some technicality. Now if you know for a fact this girl is not on the team and is some ringer that played up in a tournament across down and ran over when her other team got knocked out...tell them they can pound sand, but if it girl that was at a music recital the day before and ran over when she heard her team was still in it play the game....again it's situation dependent. I might even tell them OK but she can't pitch or make her bat ninth whatever if she is truly a team player and not a ringer. I have actually done this by the way....umps wouldn't stay...insurance reasons I guess, but coaches called the game (basically turned scrimmage) and it was actually all good times.

The way the situation is now just go out next time you play them like nothing happened and play the game nothing else you can do.

 

[FP26]

Wow!! It absolutely blows my mind that adults act in this manner. Especially at 10u. It's sad that the 10u players are more mature then the parents...

Anyway, what I always try to get across to the players is that there are barriers around the field for a reason.
*The first barrier is the lines on the field. When inside those lines, the game belongs to the players. The coaches are their to help, but they are not allowed within those lines unless time is called. (Obviously I include the catcher in this even though she is technically outside the lines...)
*The second barrier is the fence around the field. The only people that should be inside the fence are the players, coaches, and umpires. Game participants only...
*Anyone outside the fence should be there to provide positive support. If they are not providing support, they should not be there. It is my duty (as a coach) and the umpire's duty to keep the players safe from those outside forces.

I am glad to see that the tournament officials created a barrier, but it sounds like some stronger measures may have been warranted.

 

[Rambler34]

Nothing you can do but play the game. Tell the girls its just game because they will not get the same satisfaction that you will get out of beating them. We went through it my DD's first year of all stars and beating the same team we had problems with to go to the state tourney was the best feeling. We still face the same kids and parents now in HS so beating them is still sweet.

We also dealt with it in TB. We had a team we absolutely owned in 10U. Due to the names on their jerseys the parents thought they were the greatest thing on earth. When they were knocked out in the semis of a tourney and didn't get to play us one of the parents made the comment that the "Rednecks will face the Rednecks now". She didn't realize one of our moms was sitting right behind her. Granted this was back in the time of our TB journey when all the teams had radios at the park so when we faced them the next week I had a special playlist ready for the mom. Each half inning they heard songs like "Redneck Woman", Long Haired Redneck", Redneck Girl", and finished it off after the beating with "What this World Needs is a Few More Rednecks". Thier coach was smiling the entire time because he knew the parents were getting what they deserved. It also shut them up in the future.

I will admit we were a little cocky. Only three teams beat us that entire fall-summer and none from Alabama. The girls ended up 113-8-1 with 5 of the losses to one amazing team that still keeps winning.

 

[bmakj]

I guess I would do it a little differently.

I would have grabbed DDs BP bat, walked over to them and told they will either shut their pie holes themselves, or their pie holes will be wired shut very shortly . . . love how cheaters always try to make themselves out to be victims when caught.

no excuse for this . . . if tournament staff felt they had to create barrier to protect girls, all the individuals involved (and probably the coaching staff whether involved or not) should be banned from facility and future tournaments. report team/org/coaching staff to sanctioning body. And call the police.

 

[MadBandit22]

DD (10U all-star) was in a tournament final against a team that was forced to forfeit because they were caught with a player in their lineup who was not on their roster. (Tournament rules said that rosters were frozen at check-in and they added this player for the championship game.)

The families of the other team took the forfeit very badly and started yelling at the girls on the field that they were a bunch of [obscene word for cowards] and [other obscene word for cowards] and cheaters and that “next time we play you we’re going to kick your [butts].” When DD’s coaches hurried the girls off the field, the parents continued to yell.

They kept yelling at the girls as they were leaving the park, with a few trying to push past a barrier formed by tournament volunteers that was meant to keep those parents away from DD’s team. The opponents’ coaches did absolutely nothing to try to control their crowd. The girls were terrified and some thought the other parents were going to attack them.

Unfortunately, the all-star circuit is pretty small and we will have to deal with this team again. The girls are scared; several of them say that they don’t want to play this team because they’re scared of the parents. I am fairly sure these parents won’t actually physically harm the girls but they sure have no problem scaring them.

How can we make the girls understand they’re safe and that they only need to worry about what happens on the field while the parents (or tournament officials or police, if need be) will take care of what happens in the stands?

Unbelievable right? The parents are making your team out to be the bad guys when they were attempting to cheat by probably trying to slide in a ringer for the finals.
How did that get turned around on your team? You were playing by the rules they weren’t. Maybe that fact needs to be pointed out to them and your team. Your team did nothing wrong. Just wanted to play ball. Often a tactic employed by parties in the wrong to point fingers in different directions to try and shift blame.
The other team/parents should be disqualified from tournament based on what you said. No place in youth sports for adults to be trying to intimidate/scare players. Conduct detrimental to players, teams, organizations, and sports as a whole. Can’t let that happen!!!

 

[grcsftbll]

The parents are usually the worst part of softball. Not all of them by any means. But the bad ones are usually bad enough to really stand out.

 

[Sweet Lou]

10U Parents may be the worst. The best you can do is stay classy and beat them on the field. Impress on your girls and parents that you don't ever want to be THAT team.

 

[hooham08]

we got beat in our first tourney of the year by a team who had a girl throwing mid 50s (10u tourney). they actually beat us twice to knock us out on sunday. they rode that pitcher thru all the games that weekend. of course she was dd of the head coach. we found out last week that they were kicked out of a tournament for playing 12 year olds with forged and doctored birth certificates or mulitiple girls. what parent would put their kid on a team that does that. there is no way the other parents didn't know another kids age and what was going on.

 

[The Man In Blue]

I guess I would do it a little differently.

I would have grabbed DDs BP bat, walked over to them and told they will either shut their pie holes themselves, or their pie holes will be wired shut very shortly . . . love how cheaters always try to make themselves out to be victims when caught.

no excuse for this . . . if tournament staff felt they had to create barrier to protect girls, all the individuals involved (and probably the coaching staff whether involved or not) should be banned from facility and future tournaments. report team/org/coaching staff to sanctioning body. And call the police.

There is no “like the second half” button for posts and I don’t want to hit like despite the (presumed) attempt at humor in the first part. The second part is spot on though. That facility should have taken action to ban those parents or, at the very least, put them on a very short leash the next tournament.

Will you be playing them at the same venue so the Tournament Director and staff will be familiar with the situation? If not, I would have no problem contacting the TD or administrator for the next facility and giving them a head’s up on the history. The umpires should also be given a head’s up.

I was at a 10u state tournament where a fist fight broke out in the bleachers. It wasn’t on my field, but the team was from my home town. Classy folks. The team was not allowed to compete the next year at any tournaments at that facility. Kind of tough to impose since players move up or move on, but the line has to be somewhere.